“Unhand me, you fiendish rogue!” Solaire bellowed, grabbing ahold of Deadpool by the neck.
Deadpool held up a finger. “Technically, I’m a thief.”
“Wait, seriously?” Solaire released Deadpool and looked back to the board. “How can a thief pin down a mighty knight?”
“Actually, you’re a barbarian. Also, I have ten plus strength, while you only have eight,” Deadpool pointed out on Solaire’s stat chart.
Solaire picked up the chart and slapped a hand against the forehead of his helmet, causing a loud, ringing noise to be heard. “Impossible! This game makes no sense!”
“No, but a ring of strengthening does.”
“Hey, fellas, will you stop taking this game so seriously?” Twilight asked the pair. She picked up the dice and tossed them swiftly across the board. “Every time we do game night, you two nearly kill each other.”
“Says the only one who came here in costume!” Deadpool pointed out with a laugh.
Twilight scratched at her authentic and quite itchy beard, adjusting her magician’s hat as she checked her star covered cape. “What? My Nightmare Night Star Swirl the Bearded costume is all I had on me.” Looking back to Deadpool and Solaire, Twilight furrowed her gaze. “Wait a second, both of you are in costume!”
“Technically, this counts as spandex.” Deadpool pulled at his red costume, while retracted back with a satisfying smack against his skin.
“I died in this armor,” Solaire said.
Deadpool covered his nose and waved the air in front of himself with his hand of cards. “Yeah, I could tell. You know, they have modern plumbing in the castle, you should give it a shot sometime.”
“Like you ever use it yourself, Deadpool,” Luna called from across the table, seated next to Twilight. She clapped her hooves together, bringing the party’s attention back to the game board. “And now that we’re done bickering, back to our game of Dungeons and Drakes.”
“Wait, why is this game called drakes instead of dragons?” Deadpool asked.
Luna shrugged. “The dragons took offense to their name being included in the title of the game when they were portrayed as a villain race. So the publishers had to change it to drakes. Although I heard the drakes are building up a case to sue them sometime soon as well.”
“Ah, damn political correctness strikes again,” Deadpool said with a deep sigh in his voice.
“Does killing evil demon abominations count as a hate crime?” Solaire asked.
Deadpool snapped his fingers and pointed to Solaire. “Probably in Missouri.”
“Boys, the game,” Luna repeated. She smiled deviously, rubbing her hooves as she looked over the board. “I’m the dungeon master this time, so expect one of the most difficult campaigns you’ve ever experienced. Death will be a blessing once I’m done with you!”
Solaire snorted.
Twilight looked up from her cards. “Wait, why isn’t Princess Celestia with us tonight?”
Luna frowned, rolling her eyes. “My sister is either acting all gloomy and staying cooped up in her room, or off on another date. That’s the usual process for a Saturday night for her now.”
“I heard her last date didn’t go so well,” Twilight mentioned.
Luna, Deadpool, and Solaire all stared at Twilight with equal amounts of deadpan, even if Twilight couldn’t see the faces of two of the group members. She shrunk under their gazes, hiding her face underneath her wide brimmed hat. “Well, more than the usual.”
“Well, seeing how her last date wasn’t the one she was supposed to go on, along with the fact he wasn’t even immortal, I’m not surprised.” Luna huffed under her breath. “And now Celestia’s stuck in an even deeper funk than usual. I don’t know how to get her out of it.”
A light bulb appeared over Deadpool’s head, before shorting out and crashing into a shower of broken glass on the table. “I have an—”
“No,” all three of the group members said immediately.
“But—”
“Deadpool, whenever you come up with an idea, it usually involves ruining one of Celestia’s dates, or extremely high amounts of property damage, but most of the time both of those things at the same time!” Luna said.
“But that’s the thing, I have an idea that will actually improve Celestia’s date!” Deadpool declared. “And we can all help her out as well!”
Twilight raised her hoof. “I’m not going to die because of this, right?”
“Ah, death isn’t so bad,” Solaire said with a chuckle in his tone. “Heck, a benefit is never having to go to the bathroom ever again. Although there’s still the fact you’ll eventually go insane and your own madness will consume what little order you have in your mind until you’re left a hollowed out husk of your former self.” Solaire leaned back in his seat with both hands crossed behind his neck. “But, like I said, you’ll be saving a ton from not buying toilet paper.”
Deadpool wisely scooted away from Solaire. “No one’s dying—dear God, that sounds weird to say. Simply put, we get the guy who was supposed to be Celestia’s date to go on an actual date with her.”
“And?” Luna asked, her eyebrow arched.
“And then we make sure she has the best date ever by accompanying her as a super deluxe triple date!” Deadpool pointed to Luna. “We’ll do Deadmoon and Twilaire! How does that sound?”
“Like some jolly co-operation!” Solaire declared.
“Like an asinine plan cooked up by an idiot,” Luna sighed.
“Can I go home and not go on a date with the dead guy?” Twilight asked.
“We shove off in an hour!” Deadpool hopped on the table, pulling out his phone. “I have just the connections to get us a place to have the date at. Along with getting the captain himself to board with us as well!”
“And how exactly are you going to convince Celestia this is a good idea?” Luna asked him, already chiding herself for allowing another date night to be ruined by one of Deadpool’s antics.
Deadpool winked at her, the effect much creepier when she realized he had no eye holes. “Just leave that to me.”
Deadpool, what are you doing
Deadpool STAHP
I'm already terrified of what's going to happen next.
...if the Captain actually does show up, I bet the night ends the following morning - or possibly several mornings later - when Celestia wakes up in bed with the Captain...and sees Luna, Twilight, and Deadpool in the bed as well.
,..... this is going to be very funny, or very bad. Probably both
I wonder how much of this chapter's premise was based on RainbowBob's real life?
4524306 You can't stop the Deadpool; just let it happen
I love this chapter so much
Did Deadpool just start shipping everyone together?
Ok, not assuming that it's Captain Jack Harknes this time, partially because I'm expecting Hook, Black Beard, the Flying Dutchmen, or Davey Jones just to spit in our faces again. Also, I'm going to hide in my bunker until this thing blows over or Canterlot's leveled, probably both. I've got Doritos, Smash Bros. and her.
4524388
Celestia needs to date Master Hand.
4524416 Mwahahahahaha!
But I actually wanna see that now.
Ooooh, dis gonna be goooooooooood!
Sweet Lord, Deadpool's plan is gonna backfire so hard nobody's gonna be safe from the kickback! Whoof, I feel bad for Tia! And Lulu and Twily, it would seem.
4524608 Fancy meeting you here...
4524311 don't forget solaire
I am constantly impressed with the update speed for this fic. Even discounting the guest chapters, you're pretty darn quick. With your update schedule and the number of views/favs/follows this story has, there's hardly a day that goes by without it being in the featured box. Congrats, your story is officially OP.
4524718
I think even Harkness would draw the line at undead.
4520727
Actually, it's only the 24th chapter of the actual story - you're missing Chapter 12.
The numbering went skewiff when you published my first guest chapter between Part 2 and Part 3 of The Date Of The Gods, and later moved it to after those chapters.
4524608
I feel bad for Solaire. Twilight didn't even give him a chance. NOW I WANNA SEE THEM SHIPPED, DAMMIT!
Am I the only one fearing for Twilight's sanity?
4524749
wouldn't Harkness count as undead himself?
Twilight you will date Solaire and praise the sun or so help me...
4524806
No, Each time he dies, he dies all the way, then comes all the way back.
4524783 naww she lost around seson 2
I noticed that Deadpool is never called by his real name and apparently has never shown anypony his scarred visage.
4524852
Still I don't think undead wouldn't be that far as you think.
Mmm yes... this pleases me.
Twilight should have pulled out her brother's old Oubliettes and Ogres sourcebooks.
Ogres are way too stupid to sue.
I love how Solaire's now a recurring character. I am forever a sunbro.
4524857 it would be funny to see him try to score celestia by not using his mask and his real name
SONOFA-!
4524856 point taken
4525001
Welp. We lost once more. So...Get this on the top of the popular list and convince everyone to share to their non-brony friends, and away we gooo....
Nah, too much work. Much rather find out how Celestia's next date gets ruined.
As a resident of Missouri, I must correct this. Killing an evil demon abomination is not a hate crime, but a part of the night life survival scene. But if you kill an evil demon, evil abomination, or demon abomination, that is a hate crime. Sadly, the only thing really keeping the evil demons and evil abominations in check are the demon abominations. If the demon abominations were allowed to kill the evil demons and evil abominations, things would be so much quieter at night.
Soooo....does this confirm Deadmoon and Twilaire? Because I really like those shippings.
everytime Deadpool got an idea , even if it's a good one , it always involves explosive.and bombs even when he don't say it
4524353 Prolly 'bout 65% of it.
4524608
I say mix it up and go Twiluna and Deadaire!
4522697 according to rainbowbob we need to take this to PMs, also that is what characters other than satan say about him, not what he actually does. The infertile bit I didn't know about.
Oh dear, this cannot end well
Deadpool has a plan that doesn't involve people dying, someone is still going to die.
4525385 img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130511114602/fairytailfanon/images/4/4c/Slap.gif
You know, forty chapters in and all, I'm suddenly curious about who is running the country at this point. It rather feels like Celestia and Luna have completely checked out.
4524749 that is very unlikely
4524783 nope i'm also fearing for her sanity
Shiit is about go down
Deadmoon.
media.tumblr.com/a77986f62294cb15b90ecbefe2f43765/tumblr_inline_mg0zzfZuvp1rcth0f.gif
A triple date suggested by Deadpool. This won't end well. XD
Also, just to throw this out there, "WHAT IIIIIIIIS GAME NIGHT!?"
Ummm, RUN!
4525973 BRACE FOR IMPACT!!!
...RAMMING SPEED!