A time without war, a time without fear—until it isn’t.

A story for our time.

Preread through the effort and kind attention of Admiral Biscuit, Luna Farrowe, Neighrator Pony, Thornquill, and the ever-loving Dark River.

Featured, 31 August 2018.
Reviewed by Seattle's Angels, 19 May 2020.

No audiobook readings, please.

I SAID, READ THE TITLE!

WARNING: CONTAINS HEAVY RANDOM TAG ABUSE. and overused memes.

Lemon Dreams is a happy pony with a perfect life in Ponyville. There's only one problem - she thinks she's a lemon.

Is she really a pony-shaped citrus fruit, or is she just crazy? Does it even matter? When Lemon Dreams finds herself at odds with the ponies of Ponyville and pursued by a strangely familiar ghost, she realises she must discover the answers to those questions before it's too late.

Until yesterday, my life was no different than anybody's. Go to work, pay the bills, sleep. Today, I woke up to a world without humans. The streets are empty, the power grid is running down, and not another soul is in sight. That might not be the worst thing, if I wasn't also a pony.

Where is everyone? Why is this happening to me?

Will l stay sane long enough to starve?

This story now has a hardcover! If you'd like one of your own, you can grab it here: https://starscribe.net/

Now with a TVTropes page! Для тех, кто предпочитает русский язык, перевод можно найти по ссылке.

Note To E-Reader users: This story contains illustrations in each chapter, which will be lost in the standard fimfiction chapter export. The generous Phoen1x took the time to produce an epub version with all the illustrations intact, which you can download here.

A huge thanks to Zutcha for all his hard work on the art of this story. Also a huge thanks to my editors Two Bit and Sparktail, for tolerating my half-written crap.

Every foal knows the legend.

You write a letter for help.

You set it on fire.

And she will appear to right all of your wrongs.

With her violence. Sweet, sweet violence.

These are her stories.

Thanks to EGStudios93 for the perfect artwork!

"...a short series of vignettes....that hit just that balanced sweet spot right between "Oh my god that's so dumb" and riotous laughter." -TCC56

Becoming an immortal alicorn princess pony can be hard on a mare. On the one hand, Twilight now has near limitless power, but on the other, with great power comes great annoyance. Luckily that whole "near limitless power" thing kinda negates that. Still though, no one ever said banishing everypony to the moon would be easy.

Written for The Writeoff Association's inaugural writeoff, Lonely Happiness.

This story is a sequel to Never The Final Word (Vol. 1)

As with its predecessor, this is an open anthology of minifics which continue or revisit other authors' fanfics—embracing and extending, and reflecting on questions raised by the work. Due to the nature of the collection, this contains spoilers for other authors' stories, though each chapter contains a link to let you read the source first (and a spoilered summary, if you want to jump right in.)
Note that spoilers in author's notes do not currently work. As such, using the Light color scheme is strongly recommended to keep the source spoilers unseen by those who wish to avoid them.

And remember, if you find a comment fic somewhere on the site, submissions via DM are always open!

Retail tends to run a little ahead of the actual calendar: Nightmare Night stock is put out in summer, and Hearth's Warming merchandise is slammed onto the shelves at the instant that's gone. So Invoice, who's temporarily running Barnyard Bargains while Mr. Rich is on vacation, sees absolutely nothing wrong with announcing the first Back To School Sale less than one week into summer.

The kids of Ponyville have a different opinion. And it comes with picket signs.

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

When your life is a stack of suckcakes covered in angst syrup and the world turns its back on you after it kicks you into a puddle of hate toast with rejection margarine and the marmalade of loneliness and your parents are completely and totally dead, being a brony can seem meaningless. God, I'm hungry now. Sometimes all we need is a horse -- a great big one -- in a cardboard box to reinforce our own self-imposed martyr complexes.

A parody of My Little Dashie, in case you couldn't figure that out. Read by Illya Leonov!

See what actual, living bronies are saying about My Full-Sized Goddess Horse!

"This is a stark commentary on the self-destructive and delusion-wracked nature of Major Depression, as well as the ephemeral routes of mental escape in which one finds some momentary relief from the endless downpour of despair and hopelessness they experience with this disorder." -Cupcakes

"Vulgar." -Mystic

"This is an actual, for-real quote from ROBCakeran53, author of My Little Dashie." -not ROBCakeran53

"I don’t think this story is fit for Equestria Daily, nor do I think that it will ever be acceptable." -Equestria Daily Pre-Readers

"You truly have a proper grasp of diction!" -MallaJong1

"...My Full-Sized Goddess Horse is a fundamentally entertaining, messageless tale with impeccably-crafted prose." -Amit

"This is the best use of unreliable narrator I've ever seen on fimfic! " -ocalhoun

"...you should probably not smoke as much weed as you did that day." -Lesolan

Reviewed by the actual, for-real Seattle's Angels!

When you yet again find that pony furniture has failed you, something has to be done. You're tired of being uncomfortable, and of having chairs crumble underneath your weight. You decide to take matters into your own hands, and build yourself something to sit in. Now... how exactly does one build a chair, anyway?

This is a dumb story. It is short, and stupid, and really dumb. It's got a few gross sentences too. Hopefully it'll make you laugh a little anyway.