Appledashery

by Just Essay

Road Trumped

"Are you sure you're fine without bringing me along?" Lancie folded his granite arms from where he stood atop the bedside table in the dim morning light. "You're a wanted mare, Sparky. Who's to stop the likes of Don Canter and all his malevolent neer'do'furries from turning your skull into an ash tray?"

"Lancie, I'll be fine." Rainbow stifled a yawn while briskly packing the second of two thick saddlebags. "Thanks to Noir and Zecora, I've got three times the normal supply of potion to keep my limbs from turning into noodles. What's more, it's not like I'm going to be alone! Applejack will be there with me the whole time. And believe you me... if you thought I could kick flank..." She rolled her eyes and whistled. "Whewwwwwwww-boy! You have never seen true orange muscles in action!"

"You say that like you're expecting you and Applejack to get embroiled in some sort of clash of pony titans."

"Pfft! As if!" Rainbow smirked while zipping a bag shut. "Lancie, Don Canter and his buddies don't even know where I live. And on top of that, a long-distance trip to Fillyda is the absolute last way they'd ever expect to find me!"

"But what if there's another shard that far south?"

"I think you just want to be around me so that you'll constantly have a pony to pester!"

Lancie smirked. "And I think you just want me gone so you'll have Applejack all to yourself."

"Wow. The sky is blue. The next thing I know, you'll be telling me that water is wet."

"Hrmmmmmmmm..."

"What's the big deal?" Rainbow shrugged. "You already spent your last charge back in Denmark!"

"Dredgemane."

"Whatever. Point is..." She smirked. "Without grabbing another piece of yourself, what good could you possibly do even if baddies were to jump us?!"

"Er... r-right..."

"Face it, Lancie," Rainbow muttered. "This trip... this hang-out session with AJ has been a long time coming." She leaned against the bags on her bed, sighing dreamily. "Even if nothing comes of it, I think it'll be good for the soul." She smiled rosily. "Y'know, there was a time when I wouldn't even allow myself that." After a silent moment of contemplation, she turned and winked at him. "I like to think I've come a long way."

"And... uh..." Lancie scratched his stone goatee. "If something does come of it."

Rainbow sighed. "I think we both know me too well."

Lancie stared at her.

She reached over and "punched" his granite shoulder. "Don't you worry, dude. We'll still have more shards to find together."

"Who's worrying?" Lancie frowned. "I've simply have nothing to do while you frolic off on your love picnic."

"It's not a love picnic," Rainbow grumbled, slipping into both heavy saddlebags. "It's... grnnngh... an important business venture for... guhhh... Applejack and I wanna be there for support." She clasped the straps together under her fuzzy belly, then exhaled. "Both moral and awesome." She turned towards him, bearing the two enormous bundles. "Huzzah. How do I look?"

He folded his arms. "Tinier."

She blinked, then stuck her tongue out. "Never change, ya melon fudge."

"I try not to."

"The house is yours. Don't you trash it." Rainbow trotted for the door. "And you'd better not let any pigeons poop on you while I'm gone."

"I figured, at the rate you've been drooling over your road trip buddy, that would become your job."

Rainbow giggled.

Lancie raised an eyebrow. "Did... I just make you laugh, Sparky?"

"Yeah... maybe you did." Rainbow saluted. "See you in the funny papers." Slam! The door rattled, and she was gone.

Lancie stood alone in the bedroom. His stone nostrils flared as he turned about, gazing at the lingering shadows all over the interior.

---

"Guhhh—Mmmff!" Applejack heaved the last of several large barrels of apple cider into the back of a thick wooden wagon. As she began drawing a tarp over the canisters, she glanced aside across the dewy lawn of Sweet Apple Acres. She did a double-take at the petite blue figure trotting up. "Why, howdy, sugarcube!" She smiled with bright freckles. "My my, I figured I'd have to be waitin' another hour or two before you showed up!"

"Honestly, AJ? Honestly?" Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow.

"Well, you are an expert at sawin' wood, Rainbow," she said with a wink.

Rainbow Dash tried not to faint right then and there from the fresh sound of Applejack's voice in the crisp morning air. "You should know that I never leave a pony hangin'."

"Heh. Reckon not." Applejack squinted at the thick bags across Rainbow's flanks. "Land's sakes! You pullin' a Rarity all of the sudden?" She continued pulling the tarp over the apple baskets. "Ain't like you to pack so much."

"I just had to... uh..." Rainbow fidgeted, feeling the slosh of the potion bottles inside one of the bags. "Bring a few necessities."

"Well, suit yerself. I didn't bring much... besides the apples, of course." Applejack chuckled. "This bein' a business trip n'all." She smirked. "If I had Granny or Apple Bloom with me, I might have brought the banjo."

"Banjo...?"

"Y'know... for some good ol' travelin' ditties."

"You..." Rainbow Dash blinked. "You sing?"

Applejack gave her a double-take. She chuckled. "Rainbow, we're ponies. We all sing."

"I know, b-but..." Rainbow Dash's ears folded back as she smiled. "I would love to hear you sing, Applejack..."

"Hmmm?"

"Er... I-I mean... pfft... don't fret about any banjos on my behalf!"

"Heh, come to think of it, the trip to Shindig's place is gonna take forever and a half, what with it being deep in Central Fillyda n'all." Applejack smiled, tapping her chin in thought. "Maybe packin' an instrument or two wouldn't be that bad of an idea."

"Whatever, AJ." Rainbow gulped. "Just so long as we make it there in one piece."

"Heh..." Applejack brushed past the pegasus as she trotted to the far side of the wagon, tying the tarp in place. "What's the worse that could happen?"

"Heh... eh heh heh heh..." Rainbow wheezed, staring down at her squirming hooves. "Yeahhhh..." She gulped. "Uhm... AJ?"

"Mmmhmmm?"

"When was the last time you and I got to hang out like this?"

"Reckon ain't nothin' compares to this, sugarcube."

"Well... relatively speaking."

"Well, aside from those two or three times ya helped me with the apple buckin'..." She smirked, wiping sweat from her brow as she finished with the tarp. "I figure we last spent quality time together at the Gala."

"Right..." Rainbow Dash nodded. "And... uh... we sure got a lot of stuff off our chest during that time, didn't we?"

"Heheheh..."

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. "What's so funny."

"You mean I got a lot of stuff off my chest," the mare exclaimed, rolling her eyes. "Prattlin' on and on about my woes on the farm. Boy do I feel like a silly filly for all that moanin' and groanin'. Especially considerin' what luck the Apple Family and I landed in not long after."

"Eheheh... yeah... imagine that." Rainbow Dash cleared her throat. She already felt her cheeks flushing as she murmured. "I wonder... would you find it a bit out of the ordinary if... if m-maybe this time I was the one who got a lot of... erm... st-stuff off her ches—?"

TH-THUMP! A thick bag dropped into the back of the wagon. "Hiya, Rainbow Dash!"

"Oh." Rainbow turned and waved. "Hey there, Stu." She turned back to Applejack. "It's nothing freaky or anything, but I've been really needing a pony to talk to and—" Her eyes bulged. She slowly, slowlyyyyy pivoted back towards the front of the wagon. "Stu...?"

"Whew! Sure is a beautiful morning, isn't it?" The stallion hovered a few feet away. He wore a field pack over his back while his wings beat in the air. Inhaling deeply, he smiled and said, "It's the sort of weather that makes you wanna go for a jog!"

"Ya don't say?" Applejack smirked. "If that's the case, maybe you can pull the wagon first."

"Hah! I was just about to volunteer to do so!" He grinned. "But I didn't wanna step on yer hooves, what with this bein' yer wagon and all." He jolted in midair. "Oh! AJ! You missed a spot with the tarp."

"Aw shoot..."

"Here." Fwoosh! He flew down by her side and helped her fasten it in place. "There ya go! That shouldn't slip again now."

"Heh... much oblidged."

"What... how..." Rainbow blinked, her ears twitching. "He's..."

"Oh, I'm sorry..." Stu Leaves winced. "Did you want to pull the wagon first? Yeesh, I swear, if I wasn't always the last to show up for these kind of things..."

"That's what you get for usin' something electric for an alarm," Applejack said with a wink. "Silly city slickers. Ain't no rooster with a snooze button that I've ever laid eyes on. Heh."

"Heeheehee!" Stu Leaves giggled. "Good one, AJ!"

"Okay." Rainbow droned. "I'm lost."

"Hmmm? Oh!" Applejack gestured. "Did I not tell you?! Heavens to Betsy! Time's been a'flyin' by so fast, what with me havin' to get the best cider samples set up for Shindig n'all." She chuckled nervously. "The day you volunteered, I realized just how truly big and important this whole trip is gonna be! It'd be a real shame to let this opportunity go to waste on account of two exhausted ponies! So when I told Stu here about the trip, and he offered to help out as well, I was all 'Shucks! The more the merrier!'"

Rainbow blinked... then blinked again. "Merrier?!'"

"With three ponies taking turns at the wagon, none of us will get too tired!" He grinned. "Also, I have a friend who knows a friend who has a sister who works in Atlanta! I wrote her and she's already agreed to give us a cheap place to stay on the way down!"

"A bit saved is a bit earned!" Applejack said with a grin.

"Hah! You said it, AJ!" Stu unstrapped his backpack and placed it down beside his other bag. "Whew! I've never been to Fillyda myself! I hear it's a real steam bath this time of the year!" He chuckled. "Good thing I brought a water cooler!"

"Heh... yer head ain't quite so unscrewed after all, bucko." Applejack pointed. "Rainbow here was sayin' that I should go ahead and pack my banjo."

"For real?!" Stu Leaves grinned wide. "That sounds awesome! Great idea, Rainbow!"

"Er... yeah..." Rainbow drooped on her knees. "...awesome."

"I'll go fetch it, and then we'll be on our way!" Applejack trotted off. "Gonna be a long trip. No sense in frownin' the whole way."

"Heh... I don't think you'll be seeing any scowl on me!"

"Yeah..." Rainbow Dash climbed up onto the wagon, tossed her saddlebags in the back, and sat up front with a sour slump. She glared into the surrounding orchards. "...nothing but smiles here."

Comments

[RoboRed]

"Pfft! As if!" Rainbow smirked while zipping a bag shut. "Lancie, Don Canter and his buddies don't even know where I live.

"I know, b-but..." Rainbow Dash's ears folded back as she smiled. "I would love to hear you sing, Applejack..."

D'awwww...

TH-THUMP! A thick bag dropped into the back of the wagon. "Hiya, Rainbow Dash!"
"Oh." Rainbow turned and waved. "Hey there, Stu."

FFFFFFFffff...damnit.

[Lord Dragon]

Uh oh, Rainbow's gunna have a "talk" with Stu.

[Salad king]

Son of a... I knew it was too good to be true.

[YoshiFawful64]

mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw8181-1348961216188.gif

[Tchernobog]

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
┻━┻ ︵╰(゜Д゜)╯︵ ┻━┻
┬─┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ)

(╯`Д´)╯︵ nʇS

[Bulbajer]

i.imgflip.com/efz2a.jpg
Stu is worst Flash Sentry.

[Sharp Quill]

"Pfft! As if!" Rainbow smirked while zipping a bag shut. "Lancie, Don Canter and his buddies don't even know where I live.

Haven't you learned not to tempt fate like that?

"Oh." Rainbow turned and waved. "Hey there, Stu."

Poison joke would have been less cruel.

[silverspawn]

aww... really? I was looking forward to the trip

Okay, so, this could mean one of two things. a) AJ is truly clueless, or b) she brought stu along because she is uncomfortable going alone with rainbow. I don't really see that making too much sense though. So I think this means she is truly clueless.

[Frostwolf123]

...She's bringing all her potion with her?

Like that's not gonna go wrong...

[RainbowJack2000]

...........
Is it okay if I shoot Stu? Or the story?

Or even myself?

[zaponator]

Well... fuck.

On the plus side: Rainbow and Lancie!

[Lightning Bearer]

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[Jay_Baker]

Dammit Stu. And here I thought I was gonna get some appledash, an appledash alone. Oh well what's u gonna do :(

[MoonMirror]

Dang nabbit! That's just cruel.

[Shipmun]

NO. BUCK NO. *insert explicative here*
Get out. Stu you don't belong here. Trust me, you're probably going to die saving AJ from mobsters or something. That would be the last complication this story needs. Better for everyone that you stay in Ponyville.

Also, Rainbow, go back for Lancie. "The more, the frickin' merrier"

[Autumn Rush]

As if you thought we didn't feel bad enough for Rainbow as it is. That's just cruel. :P

[PropMaster]

Ughh, I should have known! Well, maybe Stu being there will be a good thing, as long as he doesn't get overzealous trying to play matchmaker.

[Aatxe360]

I knew it was too good to be true.

Stu is a SPAI! Someone knew all along where she lived and was wondering why she was capturing the shards. Lancie may be in trouble. Only Applejack's banjo skills will save them!

[BabySkittleMonster]

Is Stu's fist name by any chance "Gary"? Get outta the story, bucko. We want AppleDash. *Get's pitchforks and torches* We want AppleDash! We want AppleDash! Apple Stew doesn't even taste nice! Give us a Dash of Apple or pay the consequence!

[TwilightUCrazy]

Road Trumped

oi61.tinypic.com/219z46.jpg

"Face it, Lancie," Rainbow muttered. "This trip... this hang-out session with AJ has been a long time coming." She leaned against the bags on her bed, sighing dreamily. "Even if nothing comes of it, I think it'll be good for the soul." She smiled rosily. "Y'know, there was a time when I wouldn't even allow myself that." After a silent moment of contemplation, she turned and winked at him. "I like to think I've come a long way."

"And... uh..." Lancie scratched his stone goatee. "If something does come of it."

Rainbow sighed. "I think we both know me too well."

oi61.tinypic.com/21c9v7o.jpg

"Eheheh... yeah... imagine that." Rainbow Dash cleared her throat. She already felt her cheeks flushing as she murmured. "I wonder... would you find it a bit out of the ordinary if... if m-maybe this time I was the one who got a lot of... erm... st-stuff off her ches—?"

TH-THUMP! A thick bag dropped into the back of the wagon. "Hiya, Rainbow Dash!"

"Oh." Rainbow turned and waved. "Hey there, Stu."

oi57.tinypic.com/30m0593.jpg

"Whew! Sure is a beautiful morning, isn't it?" The stallion hovered a few feet away. He wore a field pack over his back while his wings beat in the air. Inhaling deeply, he smiled and said, "It's the sort of weather that makes you wanna go for a jog!"

"Ya don't say?" Applejack smirked. "If that's the case, maybe you can pull the wagon first."

"Hah! I was just about to volunteer to do so!" He grinned. "But I didn't wanna step on yer hooves, what with this bein' yer wagon and all." He jolted in midair. "Oh! AJ! You missed a spot with the tarp."

"Aw shoot..."

oi60.tinypic.com/8z2nv5.jpg

Stu

Stu

Stu

Stu

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I HAVE A FUCKING NAME FOR MY HATRED! AND IT'S FUCKING NAME IS STU!!!!!!!!!

[The Danish Adonis]

"What's the big deal?" Rainbow shrugged. "You already spent your last charge back in Denmark!"

Hmmmm...

...

[kluck]

lmao where PONIES we all sing

[Skunkiss]

So when I told Stu here about the trip, and he offered to help out as well, I was all 'Shucks! The more the merrier!'"

...

.....

Buck you, author...
seriously.. BUCK YOU!!!

This chapter will cost me a year or two of my lifespan!!!
...
all right, next chapter...

[Future Regret]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

STUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[DrEggnog]

I almost want Rainbow to go completely juvenile and pull pranks on Stu like putting his hoof in warm water while he's asleep.

[DeathFox4]

...
Day 4 and AppleDash once again busted...

Why????

Youknow what. I think I may write a book in which stu is murdered and tortured slowly.....

Hehehehee
#cupcakes

[Gammahoof]

You enjoy doing this to us, don't you?

[Phoenix Kitten]

...Stu Leaves.... Stu fucking Leaves.
This....colt....is a necessary evil....He has replaced the Don, Romulus, Top Dog, Sunset, Durandal and Big Boss as our villain.
He is the very being we channel all of our hatred into so that we feel sorry for Dash.
And yet... without him.. this tale would be so much shorter...it would.
He's like.. Wally from R/S/E. He's little threat at all.. yet he's always going to be just one...aggravating step...ahead of Dash.

[LucyHorseThing]

Stu reminds me of my guidance counselor...

I hate her.

vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/icarly/images/7/72/Tumblr_lfaecpnBLz1qas0l9.gif/revision/latest?cb=20110628015343

I'm saving that for when her sits between the two.

[Weehawk]

Well this is goin south darn quick

[Folomo]

I am the only one that feels that RD deserves Stu getting in the way?
She basically has left all his friends and the town hanging while she was on adventures or horsing around, which made Stu a necessity for ponyville.

You reap what you sow RD

[arancaytar]

"Pfft! As if!" Rainbow smirked while zipping a bag shut. "Lancie, Don Canter and his buddies don't even know where I live . And on top of that, a long-distance trip to Fillyda is the absolute last way they'd ever expect to find me!"

"I know, b-but..." Rainbow Dash's ears folded back as she smiled. "I would love to hear you sing, Applejack..."

TH-THUMP! A thick bag dropped into the back of the wagon. "Hiya, Rainbow Dash!"

Goddammit Skirts.

Well, time to make it look like an accident, Dashie.

[Boop-Happy Lass]

Dagnabbit, JE. That's just cruel...

[berrytone]

Applejack gave her a double-take. She chuckled. "Rainbow, we're ponies. We all sing.

I feel like everyone skipped this halarious moment due to their rage over Stu. I laughed so hard.

Of course, f*** you, Stu.

[LegallyFluffy]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bronyheat]

I've read so many chapters of Skirt's stories I should have seen this coming... Still...

slowly sharpens a knife
So Stu which part of you are we cutting off and making into stew first?
I HAVE A FEW IDEAS