"Who's that, Dawn Flight?" Starspark asked.
"Shhh! They're getting closer," Nyx whispered as she put her hoof over Starspark's mouth. She then dragged herself and Starspark under the cover of a bush close by.The hoofsteps grew ever nearer, building tension in the otherwise eerie silence. Clip-clop, clip-clop.
"Who is it?" Starspark queried, her voice muffled by Nyx's hoof. Not able to be sitting still quietly any longer, Starspark ran out into the clearing. Her eyes immediately met those of the pony who had made the hoofbeats. The stranger's soft, fern-colored green eyes popped in distinction from her chocolate-brown coat, which blended smoothly with her curly mane and tail of mahogany and burnt umber.
"Hello, there, little one. Are you lost?" Starspark looked up at the earth pony mare in silence, with her lower jaw hanging open. "Well? I would assume so since nopony I know likes to be in this place, alone in this place at the very most. Do you have a home I could take you back to?"
"Uh...," Starspark said. "I don't exactly have a home to be taken to. All I remember is waking up in a sack with no idea where I was..."
"Oh. Um, w-would you like to come to my home? I know it's sudden and all, but I do have an extra room if you'd like... to... maybe... stay?" the mare stuttered. Starspark nodded. "Ok, then. By the way, my name is Coco. I have a feeling that you're going to need to know that." Coco winked at Starspark in conclusion.
Coco and her family would provide love and care for Starspark, even though all of them were earth ponies and she was a pegasus. But as she walked away from Nyx, as she left her behind, the feeling of abandonment reignited in Nyx's heart, and tears followed in symphony with the howls from the Timberwolves resonating in the forest.
"Why does my life have to hurt me... Why can't it just leave me alone?"
"Because it doesn't like to be fair, that's why."
"Not you again... Can't you see that I want to be alone?"
"Well, judging by the fact that you were abandoned AGAIN, I thought I'd come back and cheer you up."
"And this is supposed to make me feel better? Gee, thanks."
"What can I say? I'm a little ray of sunshine."
"Oops! I left my sack. I have to go back and get it," Starspark shouted. A glimmer of hope shone in Nyx's eyes as her ears heard Starspark's hoofbeats racing towards her. Could she actually be coming back to get her? Or was she only coming to get hre sack, as she had said? "Dawnflight!" Starspark whispered. "Are you still there?" Nyx stepped out from under the bush and nodded. "Who were you talking to?"
"Just myself. I do it when I'm alone...," Nyx responded. She wasn't lying...technically.
"Ok, then. Hey, do you want to come with me? Coco seems nice and since neither of us appear to have family...I mean, come on. We're in the Everfree Forest for crying out loud! Come with me. Please?" Nyx considered the offer. She wanted to feel loved and appreciated more than anything. She...she had to go.
"No! You're not going anywhere." The unseen voice snatched control of Nyx and turned her around, pushing her legs to move and gallop away from Starspark.
"Hey! Wait! Where are you going? Wait!"
"Why did you do that? I-I had a chance to have a family! To have a sister again! Why...why did you do that?" Nyx sobbed.
It was for your own good. For our own good.
Take it slow o.o![:flutterrage:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/flutterrage.png)
and make the chapter more longer NOW
4073047
Shut the BUCK up.![:trixieshiftright:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/trixieshiftright.png)
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D >:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
This is amazing! I've never seen quite a story like this before! Here are the reasons why!
A review by Mr. Ignorable
Chapter 1:
Oh hey, cool. Seems good enough so far!
O...kay? Sure, whatever mate, do what you want.
Dude, okay, you could've just said that this is S1 only.
HOLY SHIT, JUST START THE STORY.
SHINING'S NOT A GIRL.
Yeah, okay, let's back up there.
3.bp.blogspot.com/_tU38bHrl7y4/TGWdW3c8egI/AAAAAAAADr0/97MGenGxoZ8/s1600/P1010010.JPG
BECAUSE THAT CAN DEFINITELY DO ALL THE THINGS YOU DESCRIBED.
TIME TO SHAKE WHAT YOUR MAMA GAVE YOU AND FUCK THE NICE STALLION'S BRAINS OUT!
KINKY.
E..excuse me, could you run that by me one more time?
Yeah, just once mo-
i.imgur.com/YF2XFw3.gif
PREPARE YOUR ANAL RECEPTACLE ASS MASTER, BECAUSE I'VE GOT A 12 FOOT HATE BONER AND LUBE, AND I'M ALL OUT OF LUBE.
Spoilers: One becomes a royal prostitute and the other becomesfucking ridiculous.
Chapter 2:
And now you know which one became the prostitute.
THEY'RE SENDING YOU AWAY BECAUSE THEY DON'T LOVE YOU.
Chapter 3:
images.sodahead.com/polls/000977619/being_emo_is_hard_lets_go_shopping_xlarge.jpeg
LUNA ONLY ACCEPTS THE GOOD LITTLE JEWS INTOE HER ARYAN KINGDOM WHICH IS WHY NYX IS STILL ALIVE.
No, please, cry more. I love the taste of your MARY SUE TEARS.
Chapter 4:
Yeah, you can just right back to "fuckrightofvania"
No you're not. Twilight is Canon Mary Sue, nothing beats Canon Mary Sue. NOTHING.
Even though the author rubber-glove-of-romance fisted the story in the anus in a desperate bid to garner sympathy for his poorly planned pre-prebusecent teenage rebellion the voices in your head are right. You should listen to them more, especially the one telling you to kill yourself.
Chapter 5:
Because you suck.
...Wow.. that could be used in so many sexual contexts that it's fucking hilarious.
Chapter 6:
ABORTIONISTS.
OH SHIT! ANOTHER FUCKING TWIST FROM M. NIGHT SHAMALAMADINGDONG!
I can't even summon enough of a shit to finish this chapter. Onto the last one!
Chapter 7:
THIS ENTIRE CHAPTER NEEDS TO GO DIE IN A HOLE.
So in conclusion:
This story is amazing!
This chapter is so short, I think my jimmies were rustled....
Ok then... Thank you your support, and I got the hint.... GOING TO GO LENGTHEN THE CHAPTER NOW!![:pinkiehappy:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiehappy.png)
4250210 F off yur a bitch
She's making it longer. I talked to her. @soarinsoars
Ok... EDITED chapter 7 is up now![:twilightblush:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightblush.png)
Now I just read this story from start to finish. In less than 5 minutes. I have to agree with Mr. Ignorable in this sense it is a little short. The description is the most important part of a story. But you did take a while to get into the actual story you could have started with the story in a less descriptive way. In chapter 6 you have Nyx tell the new filly her name is dawn flier or something. In chapter 7 she calls Nyx by her real name which is a continuity error. This story has great potential but maybe take a break to rethink and revise this story and get your thoughts in order. I hope this helps!
4275230 ok, "continuity error" fixed![:ajbemused:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/ajbemused.png)