The Dazzlings Do Thanksgiving
Part 2: Submissive Bread
“Wait!” Twilight cried. “I’m not the Twilight you think I am!”
Adagio backed off a few inches. “Well, I see you changed your look, but it’s not like that means you’re a completely different person… Plus that hardly matters since I’ve hardly had any interactions with you.”
“No, but—”
Adagio’s alluring smile returned. “I think we should fix that, you and I.” Adagio put a hand on Twilight’s waist. “Maybe a private friendship lesson or two would help.”
“Ghah! I’m-not-the-Twilight-from-Equestria-I’m-from-here!”
Adagio backed up about a foot. “Oh! Oooohhhh!” She extended her right hand. “In that case, I’m Adagio Dazzle.”
“Uh… Twilight Sparkle,” Twilight said as she took Adagio’s hand.
“Nice to meet you,” Adagio said. She once again closed the distance between herself and Twilight, putting on a devilish grin. “Now would you like to get to know me on a more personal level?”
“I uh… Need an adult…” Twilight uttered.
Adagio’s grin widened as she opened her mouth to speak.
“Before you say anything, I need a different adult.”
Adagio put on a ponderous expression. “You girls are like… High School seniors, right?”
“Well yeah, however…”
“Hold that thought.”
Before Twilight could muster her thoughts for a response, Adagio was gone, and before Twilight could move more than a few inches to figure out where Adagio had gone or perhaps summon someone else for support, Fluttershy was pushed into view, Adagio right behind her.
“Found an adult that wasn’t me,” Adagio said, poking her head out from behind Fluttershy’s long, pink hair.
“Eep…” Fluttershy said.
Twilight narrowed her eyes. “I need an adult who has at least a little more self-confidence than me.” She turned towards Fluttershy. “No offense.”
“No, that’s fair,” Fluttershy replied.
Adagio flashed Twilight a sour look. “Oh, you’re so picky.” Her smile returned. “Come on! Let’s make a timid sandwich.”
Twilight and Fluttershy took turns blushing and shuffling awkwardly.
Adagio glanced up and tapped on her chin. “Though, being the ‘meat’ to you two being the submissive ‘bread’ is hardly going to work…” Adagio glanced towards the entryway that she had appeared from with Fluttershy. “Maybe I can get one of the other girls or Flash to—”
Sunset’s scowling face suddenly appeared in the entryway. “Adagio, the heck do you think you’re doing with those poor girls?”
Twilight took this opportunity to get past Adagio and hide behind Sunset.
Sunset glanced behind her and shook her head. “Never mind, I figured it out.”
“It’s your fault for leaving them with me unsupervised!” Adagio declared, her hands still on Fluttershy’s shoulders. “I mean, what did you think would happen?” Adagio swung her fist in front of her chest. “Arrange a series of exciting board games to play?”
Sunset narrowed her eyes. “I’m trying really hard to come up with a good counterargument for that.”
Adagio smirked. “Anyways, I was wondering if—”
“No,” Sunset said coldly.
Adagio her hands on her hips. “You didn’t let me finish.”
“You were going to ask if I’d help you in some bizarre four-way with these two.”
Adagio gave Sunset an indignant look. “No! I was going to suggest a mostly regular four-way… Things weren’t going to get weird until we had been going at it for a while.”
Sunset rolled her eyes then focused them elsewhere. “You doing okay there, Fluttershy?”
“Oh, I’m fine,” Fluttershy answered.
“Alright, but I need your help with Aria and Trixie.” Sunset shot Adagio another scowl. “Someone seems to be ignoring the fact that they’re catatonic out in the living room.”
“Hey, I made them comfortable.” Adagio’s gaze got distant for a second. “That’s all that can be done for them at this point.”
Sunset rolled her eyes. “You act like they’re mortally wounded.”
Adagio shook her head. “Maybe not mortally, but they certainly have some mental scars that aren’t going to go away… ever. Trust me, I’ve been there more times than I care to recount… Aria, too.” Adagio shook her head. “That idiot should know better by now.”
“What happened to them?” Fluttershy asked.
“Trixie wandered into the kitchen looking for snacks. Once I heard her scream, I had to quickly pull my shirt up over my head, run in, and blindly grope around the oddly moist kitchen until I found her.” Adagio glanced to her left and scrunched her lips slightly. “Which sounds like something I’d normally enjoy, but it was pretty terrifying in this case.”
“Wait, you pulled your shirt up over your head?” Sunset asked. “Just like that?”
Adagio gave Sunset a disbelieving look. “Sunset, it’s me. Are you really surprised about me exposing my bra to anyone, let alone Sonata, Aria, and Trixie?”
“No, just… Your hair!” Sunset said pointing at Adagio’s massive locks of orange hair. “How’d the heck did you pull your shirt up over your head ‘quickly’?! I mean… that looks like a five minute ordeal.”
“When you’ve had this much hair as long as I have, you get really good at figuring out how to squeeze and compress it.” Adagio shook her head. “Hoodies would be pretty useless to me otherwise.”
Twilight poked her head out from behind Sunset. “I feel like we’re getting a bit off topic.”
“Right,” Sunset said. “So Trixie is all… zoned out because she saw something weird in the kitchen?”
Adagio winced. “More like horrific, really…” Adagio shook her head. “Sonata is always messy when she cooks, but every year at Thanksgiving she turns that into some sort of horrible weaponized art form.”
Sunset scratched the back of her head. “Uh, alright… Aria?”
Adagio put on a bored expression and sighed, resting her chin on one of Fluttershy’s shoulders. “When the cavalcade of weird animal noises stopped—”
“Whoa… Animal noises?” Sunset asked.
“I told you, Sonata goes all out! She killed pretty much everything we’re going to eat herself.”
Sunset sniffed the air as her eyes went wide. “Is it bad that I want to have dinner even more now?”
Fluttershy let out a distressed squeak.
Adagio glanced at Fluttershy. “I have no words of comfort for you. Those animals died horribly.”
Fluttershy sniffled and let out quiet, but high pitched whines.
“Oh my gosh, you are adorable!” Adagio said. “Do I… Do I just mention terrible things happening to animals to get you to make those noises?”
“Please don’t,” Fluttershy said timidly.
Adagio grinned. “What’s black and white and red all over?”
Fluttershy put on a worried expression. “A newspaper?” she answered hopefully.
Adagio shook her head. “A panda bear with all four limbs in four separate food processors.”
“SqeeeeEEEEeeek!”
Adagio rubbed her chin and squinted her eyes thoughtfully. “Geez, Thanksgiving of ’87 was weirder than usual.”
“Eeeeeeeks!”
“Focus, Adagio!” Sunset said.
“Right… Aria thought it was too quiet and made up some excuse about wanting to see if Sonata hurt herself so she could make fun of her, but of course she was just being… that uh… that weeaboo word about acting like a bitch to hide how you really feel about someone … Aria would know it…”
“Tsundere?” Fluttershy suggested.
“Right! Moon-speak word. Anyway, Aria, even though she absolutely should know better, walks in, and freaks out, but at least has the decency to get herself out of the kitchen so I didn’t have to go in a second time. Of course now she’s going to be completely out of it until dinner’s ready.”
Sunset’s brow creased as she scrunched her lips to the left. “There’s got to be something we can do…”
As if as on cue, Rainbow Dash walked up from behind Sunset and Twilight. “Welp, we’ve tried everything! Applejack told Aria she punches like a girl, I told Trixie that she wasn’t as awesome as me, Rarity told Aria dubs are better than subs, though that probably would have worked better if Rarity could say that without all the crying.”
Fluttershy winced. “Poor Rarity, that must have taken something from her to even try saying that…”
Rainbow Dash continued, “Applejack said that cowboy hats were way better than wizard hats…”
Twilight perked up. “Like… At blocking the weather? Keeping the sun off one’s face?”
Rainbow Dash shrugged. “I don’t know! She just said they were better.”
Twilight put on a slightly miffed look. “Well, I mean… You can’t just say something like that without qualifying exactly how the hats differ…”
Sunset gave Twilight a chagrined look. “Twilight?”
“Right, focusing,” Twilight said.
“Anyway,” Rainbow Dash said, “I even called Aria a ‘filthy casual’ and followed that up with ‘git gud scrub’… Nothing!”
Fluttershy spoke up. “Erm… Have you tried being nice?”
“No,” Rainbow Dash said as she put on a confused expression. “Why would I? It’s Aria and Trixie!”
Adagio nodded her head in agreement.
Sunset raised an eyebrow in Adagio’s direction. “I thought you liked Trixie.”
“’Like’ is a strong word, Sunset.”
“Uh… No?” Sunset replied. “I mean… it’s one of the mildest forms of expressing a positive emotion towards someone.”
Adagio put her hands up in front of her. “Whoa, whoa… You’re being awfully presumptuous about my feelings on Trixie.”
Sunset closed her eyes and sighed. Bringing a hand up to her forehead, she shook her head. “You at least thought to invite her here.”
Adagio shrugged. “She can be fun to have around, I admit.” Adagio narrowed her eyes. “But that doesn’t mean I have feelings for the girl.”
“Right, forget I said anything.”
Fluttershy spoke up again, “I really think we should try being kind to the girls.”
Adagio shook her head. “If you treat them nice now they’re just going to expect it from you all the time! And then they’re going to want all kinds of unreasonable things!”
Sunset folded her arms in front of her chest, “Like basic human decency?”
“Hey, I’ve only been human for a blink of an eye considering how long I’ve lived, so cut me some slack,” Adagio snapped.
A corner of Sunset’s mouth pulled upwards tightly. “Fair enough, I guess.”
Fluttershy gave the girls an awkward smile and walked away from Adagio and past Sunset, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight. “I’m going to try my idea.”
“Fiiiine!” Rainbow Dash huffed as she turned and followed Fluttershy.
Sunset and Twilight turned to follow.
“Just a second, you two,” Adagio called out.
Sunset and Twilight turned, Sunset doing it with a sigh. “What is it?” Sunset asked.
“While your friends in there are busy wasting their time, maybe you, new Twilight, and I can get better acquainted… alone?” Adagio said, finishing her sentence with an enthralling smile and a wink.
With an “Eep”, Twilight went back to hiding behind Sunset who gave Adagio an incredulous look. “Not going to happen,” Sunset said.
“Oh, come on!” Adagio said. “Don’t you want to break in the new Twilight?”
“Ba-ba-break in?” Twilight stuttered.
Sunset glared at Adagio. “She’s not a new pair of shoes, Adagio!”
“Of course not!” Adagio said. “That would imply there’s a pair of her here! We need the second Twilight for that simile to stick.”
Sunset sighed heavily, brought her fingertips up to her temples, and began to massage them.
Adagio stepped up to the girls and leaned past Sunset to better examine Twilight, who shifted in an attempt to keep Sunset in-between her and Adagio.
“No,” Adagio mused. “I’d say she’s more like new cute pajama—” Adagio squinted “—bottoms… definitely bottoms.”
Sunset shut her eyes hard and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Could you lay off the poor girl for little while?”
“Hmm, I’d much rather lay on her, actually.”
Twilight ducked her head behind Sunset.
Sunset scrunched up her lips hard. “…Walked right into that one.”
“WhaaAaahAieeeeEeeeek!”
The girls jumped slightly as the alarmed cries of Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Fluttershy all rang out. After a quick exchange of glances, they all ran into the living room.
End Part 2
Oooh Daggi is just too funny!!
Also: I need an adult! Preferably one with orange hair <.<
Panda: the other white meat. And the other dark meat.
Nice subversion of that joke!
"I'm not doing the HECK with them, I'm doing the FU--"
"Finish that sentence and I gut you like a fish."
Poor Fluttershy
I thought that one went "a zebra in a blender"? Oh well, Adagio's version is more horrific.
*twitch*
I DO!
Really loving Adagio in this special. Maybe if she 'broke down in tears' she might get want she wants, it worked for that gay cop in Reno 911.
I'm also picturing a morning in Twi's home where she sees Adagio eating in the kitchen after a night with some clients.
BTW I remember watching this PETA video of slaughter houses and immediately ate some pork chops afterwards. It would've been a waste not to eat them, plus they were delicious.
Oh god, I laughed harder at that than I should have.
7751350
Adagio's hair is orange.
7751423
If the fandom got her, it'd probably be completely white in an hour, and not the way she'd want it that color.
Hahahaha, this was perfection, nicely done.
Sci-Twi is way too cute for her own good.
I find the lack of Flash in this chapter concerning. Sure hope nothing's happened to the poor guy.
I must take precautions to know where this is going.
Totes adorbs!!!
Plz stahp, ur killin me!!!
...actually, plz continue, I'd rather die loling
That bluntness got me Adagio has no chill sometimes.
Great. Now I'm curious what Panda tastes like.
And is it bad that when she suggested both the Twi's at once I felt a rise of lust?
Not sure anyone can top Dagi
7752132
That doesn't sound like a bad thing. With her it's probably better to be on the bottom anyways.
7751423 I know EXACTLY what I said >=)
Hence: I need an adult whose hair is orange. Also fluffy and long.
And the insanity continues...
Why am I not surprised?
Smart.
OK, that's funny.
... I don't want to know.
Why would you do that?
I'm surprised you wear one.
That's fair, I mean, only beings I know with longer hair than you are Super Saiyan 3 characters and Raditz.
What the hell is WRONG with you?!
That.
Much like how people think Krillin, Tien and co "like" Vegeta.
I think you mean mAssage.
Yes.
7752581
Fixed! Thank you!
Rarity doesn't strike me as the type to have a opinion on the Sub-Dub debate. Hell, there are anime that the creators wanted dubbed because they knew the English speaking version would be superior. Black Lagoon and Panty and Stocking come to mind.
Did Sonata bite someone?
Another enjoyable chapter. Great job.
And now everyone but Flash in the lounge room is catatonic. Flash is just sitting there staring repeating over and over, "Lips...Tongues...lips...tongues"
7752928 I'm pretty sure that's where the panda "joke" came from...
7755030 I fail to see the connection between the panda parts in food processors and implying Sonata caused the Bite of 87.
7755037 No. I was referring to the panda parts were what made Thanksgiving of '87 weirder than usual. Pretty sure Sonata biting people would be on par.
7755054 So I assume you completely missed my Five Nights at Freddy's joke.
Adagio better hope Maud doesn't find out about Trixie.
We need responsible adults here. Like say, Molestia?
7755077 ...not completely... Just initially.
7757564 You know it's a thing when the animators are going out to see what the dubs are like. The creators of Black Lagoon deliberately pUT in all the swears just to see what the dub would be like. Excel Saga was the same way.
7752236
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4557-That_Was_Clever.jpg
I'm just waiting for Adi to have too much to drink and confess that she's a virgin
7819129
After all we've seen. We definitely know that's not true. And we even get the aftermath of her screwing the brains out of Aria when they both got to their bedroom and drank Mezcal and Scotch to the point of forgetfulness. Not too many chapters ago. So yep, definitely not anything resembling a virgin.
Do I REALLY want to know about that Thanksgiving?
....
On second thought, maybe not.
I’m honestly surprised you wear any underwear at all. I would have thought that they would just be more annoying clothing you would have to pull off.