“~I want your love and
I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance~”
Sunset Shimmer jumped slightly as the music played from her phone and looked down. She cringed as she read the name ‘Adagio Dazzle’ on the phone screen. In a move she found somewhat ironic, Sunset had given the Dazzlings all an air-raid siren ringtone, but Adagio likely got ahold of her phone at one point and changed the ringtone herself. Well, whatever the reason was for calling Sunset, apparently it warranted a phone call. As the music played, she considered ignoring the call. Phone call or not, it was unlikely to be an emergency and much more likely to be a headache in the making.
“Ooo! Ooo! Is that, Dagi?!” An excited, bubbly voice asked to Sunset’s right. Pinkie giggled. “She loves that song!”
Sunset sighed internally and glanced at Pinkie who grinned excitedly.
“Tell her I said ‘hi!’ Ooo! And tell her ‘I’ is ‘Pinkie Pie! Ooo! Ooo! Remind her that ‘Pinkie Pie’ is the girl with the curly pink hair who likes to throw parties and is also one of the girls partially responsible for her losing her siren powers…” Pinkie suddenly reached over for the phone. “Maybe it’s just better if I talk to her!”
Sunset cringed and picked up her phone. Talking to Adagio was inviting disaster. Letting Adagio talk to Pinkie was like calling disaster over to crash on your couch for a week next to the bucket of cocaine and your ‘fragile vases on top-heavy pedestals’ collection. She swiped her finger across the green ‘answer’ dot on the front and brought the phone up to her ear. “What is it, Adagio...”?” she sighed out.
“Wow… Good morning to you, too!” Adagio replied.
Sunset’s lips instinctively tightened and she went slightly cross-eyed. “It’s past 2 in the afternoon.”
“Right! Morning!” Adagio chirped.
Sunset groaned.
“Tell Dagi ‘Pinkie Pie says ‘hi’’!” Pinkie exclaimed excitedly as she leaned forward, beaming widely at Sunset at about half an arm’s length away.
“Is that Pinkie?!” Adagio suddenly shouted.
Sunset cringed slightly and pulled the phone away from her ear as she shot her phone an annoyed look.
“Yes, Dagi! It’s ME! Pinkie!”
“Pinkie!” Sunset growled out. “You don’t need to ye—”
“HI, PINKIE!”
“HI, DAGI!”
“Ahhh!” Sunset cried as she covered her ears for a moment. She quickly lowered the phone and fixed Pinkie with a glare. “Pinkie! Stop screaming in my ear!”
“Whoopsie…” Pinkie replied with a sheepish smile.
Sunset slowly raised the phone back to her ear and shifted her irritated look back towards the phone. “What do you want, Adagio?”
Adagio replied in her typical, slightly sultry tone, “Well, I’d hate to interrupt sexy-fun-times with all your girlfriends…”
Sunset found herself glaring up into her eyelids. “We don’t have sexy-fun times, Adagio. We just have regular fun-times.”
Adagio sighed. “My, my, how droll. Well, I don’t feel as bad about interrupting regular fun-times with you and your gang.”
Sunset glanced to her right. “Actually, it’s just Pinkie and me.”
“Oh?” Adagio replied. She let out a chuckle. “Are you two out on a date? I didn’t think Pinkie was your type…”
“What?!” Sunset spat out. “No! We’re just hanging out and watching TV.”
“Ooooh… So, you’re not busy then.”
Gah! DAMNIT! Sunset thought. How is she so good at being a manipulative bitch?! I’M the one who’s supposed to be good at being a manipulative bitch! “Well, we have plans for later.”
“So you two are dating!” Adagio asserted without missing a beat.
“GHAH! Okay… Just… What do you want, Adagio?” Sunset bit her lip and braced herself, half expecting Adagio to break out into the same song that served as her ringtone. This would be particularly cringeworthy as Adagio was still somewhat tone-deaf from losing her siren powers.
“I need a ride downtown.”
Sunset paused for a moment. That was a pretty simple and reasonable request… Too reasonable. In fact, it was a request Adagio shouldn’t need Sunset or her friend’s help fulfilling. “Why don’t you just call a taxi?”
Sunset could almost hear the eye roll on the other side of the line. “Oh, sure! And I can save money on heating bills over here by just filling the fireplace with money and burning that!”
Sunset huffed out a sigh. “Fine! Get an Uber, then!”
“I can’t,” Adagio said. “They have a strict ‘no having sex with the driver’ rule now.”
“… Why would tha- Were you planning on having sex with whoever comes to pick you up?!”
“Well, not planning, per se. Still, it’s nice to have options.”
Sunset scowled at her phone. “You’re the reason Uber has that policy, aren’t you?”
“As flattering as that would be, I’m sure I’m not the only person who got hot and heavy with their driver.”
“What do you need to go downtown for, anyway?”
“Well, if you must know”—
“Ooo!” Pinkie exclaimed as she bounced up and down. “Does Dagi need a ride?! Ask her if she needs a ride!”
Sunset cupped a hand over the bottom half of her smartphone. “Shhh! I got this, Pinkie!” She returned the phone to her ear.
— “so I thought no one’s ever touching that record and had a plaque made up for myself.”
“… Wait, I didn’t catch all of that,” Sunset said. “Plaque for what?”
“‘Most Uber Drivers Slept With’,” Adagio answered.
“… Nope. Not doing this!” Sunset replied cheerfully as she pulled the phone away from her ear and pressed the red ‘hang up’ button.
“Aww…” Pinkie uttered in a disappointed tone. “So we’re not going to hang out with Dagi?”
Sunset’s lips pulled open into a wide, slightly unnatural smile and she prepared to answer with a cheerful ‘No!’ That is until…
“~If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends
(Gotta get with my friends)
Make it last forever, friendship never ends~!
“Oh! That’s Dagi's ring-tone!” Pinkie beamed excitedly as she reached into her curly mop of hair, pulled out a phone, and answered it. “Hi! It’s me! Is it you?!”
Sunset’s eyes opened widely.
“Hi, Dagi!”
Sunset raised an index finger and opened her mouth.
“Oh, it’s fine! I’m just hanging out with Sunset as she screams at the TV and talks to you on the phone! Oh, but you probably knew that already! Hehe.”
Sunset’s finger dropped and she closed her mouth.
Pinkie gasped excitedly. “I’d LOVE to present your award in an impromptu ceremony!”
Sunset slumped her shoulders and let her head go limp.
“Eeeee! I can even decorate! … Well, of course, I can spell out ‘Most Uber Drivers Slept With’ with balloons, silly! Who do you think you’re on the phone with?! Uh-huh? Uh-huh? Sure, I’ll ask!” Pinkie turned towards Sunset. “Hey, Sunset! I’m going to pick up Dagi and present her with a plaque! Can you believe she slept with more Uber drivers than anyone before they put up that rule? I mean… no one is gonna touch that record, now!”
Sunset simply let out a low, continuous grunt in reply.
“Anyway, Dagi wanted to know if you wanted to come with! Oh, huh?” Pinkie pulled the phone a little closer to her ear. “Oh! Apparently, I was supposed to waggle my eyebrows at you when I said the word ‘come’, so, ‘Dagi wanted to know if you wanted to come with!’” Pinkie repeated as her eyebrows bounced slightly.”
“… I’ll go get my jacket…” Sunset said in a defeated tone.
Yet.
Your Adagio never fails to be hilarious.
But... that Thanksgiving arc! There's more?
By the end of this story, Sunset's gonna be just as insane as the Dazzlings.
7973312
That, or toss them back into Equestria like a bad catch of fish.
I just love watching you craft words into finely detailed brain fuckery.
raised
Also, goddammit Dagi.
7973383
Fixed! Thanks!
Hmmm... how many is "most"? Rules and records were made to be broken after all.
...yep, no way was Sunset getting out of that one.
Adagio's a fucking monster.
I like it!
7973500
Emphasis on the f*cking part...
Imagine if Adagio meet Abridged Cell?
Hahahaha, ooooh Dagi, you're a beast. Nicely done man, you write this out so well, its freaking hilarious
And this is why Adagio should be kept on a very short leash...or not. She'd probably be into that...wait, no. Definitely be into that.
7974537
And knowing Dagi, she's equally at home on either end of said leash.
7973938 wait, witch Cell are we talking about?
7975024
The one from DBZ Abridged by TeamFourStar. Pretty sure he still the same no matter what form he is he just tones some things down.
7975045 I ment witch stage cell, cuss if you ment Perfect Cell, I'd be inclined to disagree
On that note, I really wish that series would update soon. It was funny as hell
img0.joyreactor.com/pics/post/Fredo-and-Pidjin-comics-uber-porn-2472482.png
londontaxitrade.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/CKoOeq4UsAArSHI1.jpg
7975288
I think he would still crack the sex jokes regardless, especially if he is talking to someone like Adagio.
And yeah I want to watch the next episode too though the little vs vidoes are pretty good. The latest one is one of favorites one, though I doubt that's how things would go down in a real confrontation.
Glorious, i wish we could vote up the story more than once since all these chapters are fairly self contained
7973328 Pretty sure the author wrote that, it involved Twilight paying Love Tap to take the Sirens off her hands.
7976351
Oh yes indeed, but there had to be a step one before step two!
7975637
I helped!
Last week a coworker missed the last bus and was about to call an Uber. I gave him a ride instead. One fare may be a drop in the bucket, but it's the principle of the thing.
Fuck Uber. (Figuratively, Adagio!)
Of all the things to check for grammar, this was probably the one. And yet... well. I'd say "you can figure it out", but... clearly not, eh wot? "Drivers" does not have an apostrophe, because it is plural, not possessive. You've written "Most Uber Driver Is Slept With". Which, of course, makes no sense.
Separate dialog
____________
8578117
Diag still needs to be 3 separate pieces of dialog. Rather than 1 paragraph.