Griffon of Canterlot
Chapter 16 – A Different Griffon Brush Off: Part Two
Just outside Sugarcube Corner at a table with an umbrella Celestia, Pinkie Pie and Gale sat at, the guards stood close by watching over them. Gale happily eating on a cream filled cake and drinking the strawberry milkshake, even making a bit of a mess with the cake he found it too tasty.
Celestia drinking her tea looked over to Pinkie Pie sitting the opposite side of the round table to Gale, he had refused to be near her and Pinkie with caution sip her own milkshake looking up to the sky from the edges of the umbrellas obstruction.
“Pinkie Pie.”
“Yes Princess?”
“Looking up at the sky continuously isn't going to make them fly by any sooner.”
Pinkie Pie turn her head from looking upwards to looking over to Celestia sitting by Gale. “I know Princess.” Pinkie giggled. “I just doing it to not make Gale uncomfortable.”
Celestia frowned looking down to Gale. “Son. Pinkie Pie is taking account on your feelings about her.” Celestia turn to Pinkie Pie. “I know her sudden appearance beside you spooked you but she had no ill intend. In fact one of her main goals in life is to make others smile and be happy.”
Gale frown and tilted his head. “That right! I am the Element of Laughter after all!” Pinkie giggled.
Celestia knew if he could very well speak right this moment it would be questioning on the Elements of Harmony. “Gale to answer the question you can not ask, she one of six ponies that represent the Elements of Harmony. Pinkie Pie as she told you is Laughter, Twilight Sparkle my former student and the sister of Shining Armor is Magic.”
Gale instantly gasped and so did Pinkie Pie. “Twilight has a brother!?” Gale would of said 'That Shining's sister!?'
Celestia rubbed the underside of her snout. “I am sure I mentioned it when we were in the library Pinkie Pie and Gale.”
Flash Sentry standing guard by the door to Sugarcube Corner responded. “Yes you did Princess.”
“Thought so.”
Pinkie Pie and Gale looked directly at each other for a few seconds before slapping their own foreheads, Celestia laughed. Gale sunk down feeling his face warm up groaning with wings over his head, Pinkie giggled. “We did a silly.”
“Come on Gale! I know we forgot but it funny that we both did!” She giggled.
Gale lower his wings and nod with an slight smile. “See.” Celestia nudged him a little. “Now are you going to finish that cake or shall I?”
He squawks in defence taking it and shoving the last of it in his beak, the result was a messy face and laughter from two ponies. Gale soon joined in the laughter but soon stopped with his ears twitching to laughter coming by and above them.
Celestia and Pinkie Pie heard it too, while Gale wiped his beak and face clean they watched Rainbow Dash and Gilda land not to far from them. Gale gasped and points to Gilda. “That must be Gilda.” Celestia made the files appear, opening it up to get a look at the cub version of her. “Yes it is.”
Celestia closed her file up and noticed Gale was missing from the seat beside her. “Gale?”
Pinkie Pie points her hoof towards Gilda. “I think he eager to meet Gilda. Hope she isn't m-” The look Celestia gave her didn't allow her to finish what she'd was going to say. “Right... Both in the wrong.”
“Correct. Shall we?” Pinkie Pie nods as Celestia stood up.
Gilda looked around, she saw Granny Smith walking towards the market stall and a prank came to mind. About to head over to it quickly but only to have Gale hovering before her with his plush out to Gilda. “What the...?” Gilda frowned. “How about getting out of my way you-” He moved a bite closer with the plush out stretched to her.
Gilda growls slightly. “Fine! I'll hold your...” Gilda was about to say 'stupid' but holding it and looking at it closely. “Why the heck do you have a soft toy of yourself?” He shrugs. “Cub here yourself toy back. I got things to do.” She gave it back to Gale.
Gale squawks happily and the result was flying around Gilda rapidly, she turning her head to follow the teenage griffon with utter confusion. “Seriously cub! What the heck wrong with you!? Your making me dizzy!”
Gale stopped holding his plush close to himself hovering there. “Well your going to say something or what?” He points with the free talon to his beak and squawk softly. “Right... You think I am gonna fall for the can not speak gag?”
“That would be true Gilda.”
“Oh and ho-how-” Gilda turn around in mid-sentence to stare at a gold chest plate against a white furry chest, slowly raising her head to meet the eyes of Princess Celestia. “Dude your a really tall pony!”
Celestia smiled. “That I am Gilda. It a pleasure to meet you.”
“Did Dash tell you about me or something? Seriously who are you?” Many ponies gasped around her, some even stopped in mid movement staring.
Celestia waved Gale to come to her side and he did so. “I am Princess Celestia co-ruler of Equestria and this cub is my son.”
Gilda raise an eye before started to do a fake laugh. “Okay Dash you got me! Funny prank!” Gilda look around.
“This is no prank Gilda. I am really the princess.” Celestia smiled slightly. “Maybe this will help.” Using her magic the sun shifts slightly and Gilda's beak hangs open seeing the sun shift. “Impressed?”
“Impressed!? That was awesome! I heard stories of a pony princess could move the sun! But-” She stopped in mid-excitement. “Okay your the real deal. But seriously why are you speaking to a griffon like me of all griffons? What the catch?” Gilda crossed her forelegs.
Celestia open the file now floating beside her. “I will be blunt since you are.” Gilda's rolled her eyes. “In the last week since Gale came into my life due to unforeseen events that left him with only the memories of three weeks. None of us can figure out how to teach him to speak while he can read and understand us clearly.”
Gilda frowned. “So you have a teenage cub with brain damage. What that got to do with me?” Gale tilted his head not sure what 'brain damage' meant.
“I looked into your Junior Speedsters Flight Camp records and since your very good friends with Rainbow Dash from then to now. I came to find her to find you in aiding me to give my son the ability to speak.”
Gilda now turn her attention from the file to Gale. “You want me to teach him to speak?”
“Yes.”
“Teaching?”
“Yes.”
“Not happening! I am no egghead!” Gilda shook her head. “Well... I got to go. Se-” Gale flew up to her and gave a big hug around her neck to chest. “H-hey let go!” He shook his head squawking a few times. “Seriously! Get off me you crazy dorky griffon!”
Celestia wasn't sure what to do. One side she felt a rage building when Gilda called him dorky but on the other side Gale did latch onto Gilda in an surprising action, the guards moved in but Celestia rose her wing to stop them. “If she hits or throw him off then act.” The nod standing firm and ready to go.
Gilda looking down at his golden brown eyes with her own golden eyes. “Gale was it?” He nods. “Get the heck off me! I am not a toy! I don't do hugs! It uncool!” He shook his head. “What will it take to get you off me!?”
Pinkie Pie watched eating pop-corn as Fluttershy walked by backwards with ducks and ducklings. “Hi Fluttershy!” Pinkie giggled.
“Oh hi Pinkie Pie, what going on over there?” Her attention drawn on the two griffons.
“Gale is Princess Celestia's adopted son and he refusing to stop hugging Gilda till she agrees to helping him to try and speak.”
“Princess Celestia adopted a griffon?” The ducks and ducklings was as confused as Fluttershy.
Pinkie Pie pulled out a invite. “After you taken care of the duckies come to the party and you will know then!” She giggled.
Fluttershy took it with her wing. “Oh-oh okay.” Fluttershy turn to the ducks. “Shall we?” They nod and they carried on walking by.
Pinkie rubbed her puffy mane. “Hmm... Why do I get a feeling that wasn't suppose to happen...” Pinkie shrugged. “I guess it just me.” She went back to watching the scene unfold munching on pop-corn.
Gilda wanted to throw this griffon hug latched to her into the nearby fountain, but seeing and hearing this Princess that can move the sun call him son made that not a option at all. “Okay dweeb! What will it take for you to stop being in my face and latching onto me!?”
Celestia came up with an suggestion. “How about this... If you get him to say one word before this party Pinkie Pie invited you two too, you agree to become his teacher and we will write up an fair agreement.”
“And if it doesn't happen?”
“We will leave you in peace.”
“I'll go with that!”
“But I do might have to add one little detail.”
“And that be?”
“You held his plush and gave it back.”
“So?”
“So...” Celestia smiled mischievously to the adult griffon giving her a chill down her spine to the tail.
“You shown that he completely trust you. Break that trust and I will break yours.” Gilda for a second thought she saw the sun grow a bright but shadowy look behind Celestia as she towered over Gila, causing her to gulp. “Am I clear?”
Gilda managed to squawk out one word as she give out her answer to Celestia. “Perfectly...”
Power to the Readers 0.5 Chapter: How would you like a short of Gilda wrecking the Library for helping her to get Gale to say at least one word as well interact with Twilight Sparkle?
Voting is now closed, thank you for all the votes.
Oh hell yes!
Yes
yes
Yes
this is a big fat YES!!!
1. YES!
1. YES.
I would like to see Celestia brake Gilda!
Yes i wana see gilda snaped in two pieces.
10016434
That a bit dark
10016440
Its is but that comes from my depression. Plus i dont like gilda
10016443
Fair enough, each are their own ^^
Also hope you get out of your depression my friend
10016444
It could have been worse i could have said after snaping her in two pieces roast her on a open fire pit
Lol
I think that Celestia should troll Gilda and break her.
So I vote a: Yes!
Yes
I was going to vote no but that seems pretty pointless. Also Gale seems on usually quick to trust Gilda.
Yes
10007719
Just 3.6 Röntgen. Not great, not terrible
Yes
1
I vote yes.
1
10016509
Gale's rule effect and that Celestia said that hybrid races are trusted quite some way back she used to get to have Gale trust her and Luna. So two factors played into this that.
Hope that explains it. ^^
10016712
oh yeah the hybrid thing I remember now
Absolutely yes
Definitely yes
Im confused Can you explain it in detail? I literally seem to miss the context of the
'YES - NO' .
You mean Gilda has success in teaching Gale a word? Or...?
10017086
Basically Gilda gone into full panic mode, with trust thrust on her by Gale and Celestia breathing down her neck for her to try and teach a single word to Gale to say. She desperate to not have the princess of the sun in her eyes burn her alive.
Hope that helps explain it.
No
10017119
Thanks so voting 'yes' is Gilda success in teaching him a word than?
I like Gilda to get the position. Stable income for herself as helping Talon for teaching him speaking,hunting,culture,body languages and more. Probably coming with a place to stay as well
Flesh Sentry … so he's a Flesh golem
10017605
Corrected and thank you!
Tartarus No
Yes sound like it would be funny
Haha yes
The pacing is a bit fast, especially in the first chapter. The introduction falls flat as a result, where we’re introduced to something being afraid, a thief, then instantly the discovery of said thief. There’s no build up or anything, and there’s no easing into the discovery or introduction of the character, he’s just suddenly there.
You do need an editor. The first chapter wasn’t bad in terms of spelling or grammar. I didn’t even see anything wrong with Luna’s speech outside of the excessive usage of “thy”. The second chapter however, seriously needs editing.
I can’t really read it as it is now, but that’s my two bits.
10019436
Its normaly good to have a slow build up but its not a story were we follow a future OC having to shine with skill and actions to be able to follow or lead the mane six. It was a rather sudden thing for all others involved in this. I think the pacing is fine as it is.
A Editor more is always helpfull so nothing to object there
Its always nice to see constructiv critic. Shows how well a story is made to get readers to care
Any ideas what could be added?
I love by Nobel counsel idea that i write in the comment section
'yours' isnt it meant to be 'you'?
Was that written to avoid because Gale can hear em?
10019472
I’m sorry, I’m having difficulty understanding what you’re saying.
I say the pacing is fast because in the first chapter, it’s one thing after another. There’s no build up to the discovery of the MC, he’s just there. Now, stories do this, I’ve read stories that do this, but it’s never at the start, and there’s always hints to it. Say, instead of skipping directly to the discovery of the MC, instead have Celestia or someone else going about their days in the castle, noticing odd things happening like food disappearing or objects moving. Then he gets caught in the act at one point. That’d be a good build up, because it shows that he was actually there for all that time, it doesn’t just say it.
It’s a bit of show don’t tell, really. As it is, we’re being told that he’s been there for two weeks. But instead we could be shown, in the confines of the singular chapter, that he’s been around, unnoticed. It’d also help to make Celestia’s discovery less jarring. Celestia just up and instantly knows that he’s there, and while yes it’s a logical conclusion given what she knows, to the reader it’s an out of nowhere assumption.
10019485
Your way lessons the effect of discovery in this case.
We read how he was found. The Cub didnt steal food but trash/food already discarded. He didnt get found out because he was right next to the garbage containers. The makeshift shelter was a 'natural visual cover' fitting in without him taking any risk of discovery because he just had to travel a few meters. Gales memorys will resurfis eventually and can than be added. But that not happening for a long time i guess. My best guess is when Starswirl the Bearded returns to the mortal realm from Limbo.
10019484
Eeeeeeyup
10019497
It just felt rushed to me. The lack of build up, the time skip, just him being there and right on into the story felt rushed, pacing too fast imo.
10020346
Lets agree that we disagree with one another in build up and pace.
I still hope you enjoy it.
So only now they're trying to help him? That they would wait this long at all to even plan of helping him doesn't look very good. For one, they never even attempted to find his real family or identity. They found him in Canterlot so it stands that by searching for reports of missing persons they could find out the who and what he is, and reunite him with his family. Instead they selfishly decide to keep him.
Jesus.... Momlestia is going ALL OUT, ain't she?
Am I missing something? So if she fails, she will be left alone like she wanted? Then what is her reason to even try? That Celestia will get angry? But they've made a deal. It wouldn't look well for Celestia if she didn't adhere to it. Also, Gilda could just pretend she is doing something while doing nothing and the ponies wouldn't be able to tell the difference, because if they could, they wouldn't need Gilda in the first place.
Gold's revenge for being forced to teach gale is to teach him to say fuck
10580303
GILDA HOLLY BUCK?!?!
HOW DID YOU NOT DIE???
10654385
Absolutely PRICELESS situation. Totaly worth the burn Gilda would earn
This is celestia all right..... brain damage celestia from season 7