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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Ahh, yes, the pony fabricator.
Realizing he could make liquid love for the changeling maybe create an treaty
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It's a very dry read. In the old days they used to say "Its like reading stereo instructions" but I don't think they have stereos anymore, or even stereo instructions anymore, so I don't think the younger generations would even know what that means.
So I'll say this reads like a Tax form. There is so much science and description and theory that it's a dry and somewhat dull read. I found myself zoning out of the story and having to reread sections. The Author is obviously a good writer because the grammar is good and the dialog is strong, (When there is dialog Dia meaning two way.) I think whats holding this writer back is that he forgot that you write for your audience as well as write what you enjoy. He did the latter but forgot to do the former. If he can crawl out of his headspace and focus on plot, story arc, and timing, he could write some great works of fiction.
Monk
"There are some things which you cannot do. There are some limits on even a Noble's actions. Never learn these limits. Never accept them. You are a Lord or Lady of this earth." -wLam
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Dude making me feel old here! Let's be honest about this no one bothers to actually read instructions first if at all unless it's for IKEA furniture or LEGOs. You could look at this as 'the devil is in the detail'. Long answer is that the more detail you add to something the nastier it tends to look. Simplest way I can think to describe it is batteries, cooking, and building an engine. Instruction for placing batteries is to simple, giving some a guide to building a car engine your likely to see them run for the hills but a book on say baking a cake always seam to be just right about of reading. Chop off say 20% of some of the fluff and the story will look a lot better but it may just be to preference.
I just found this today and caught up. Others may say all that science is boring, but as long as you don't ask me to try and convert units or something, I find it perfectly enjoyable. I can't wait to see more.
While I'm here and still binging the story, I just want to say; I absolutely *adore* all the attentions to detail. This has actually been something I've been wanting to see for a LONG time in terms of written content here, and this scratches all those itches and then some.
Stellar work so far, just wanted to toss in my two cents while I'm here. Keep the info coming!!
Reminds me of this 1:59.
"you’ll be saving them from me if you show up, not the other way around.”
I'm not locked in here with you, your locked in here with me
You thought I wouldn’t notice the fourth wall break??
SURPRISE CHUCKLENUTS!
This got quite a few chuckles.
Cutie mark without the S unless Deed has a secret mark
Ah, good old bad women's anatomy.
The pencil skit was funny though.
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He added the plural S because he's saying Cure sees both marks on either flank as separate entities from each other.
This threw me for half a second. Where I'm from I'm Canada calling someone a good can be fighting words xD I don't know why, it's just one of those weird regional things.
...But you're doing it right now. Are you talking shit about yourself! That's mean. You'll make Fluttershy cry!
I see what you did there. I ran to my keyboard to fast.