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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Going to read it soon, looking forward to it, maybe I could do the cover art for the story as a commission. Comment proper soon.
Finished reading, and I enjoyed it. I do like the premise and I don't like where you are going with this. I do love the family dynamic there is at the moment. the writing is
But I have some observations on the story, not really critiquing or say that it is bad at all, it's just that the story is very exposition heavy on what the protagonist observes and explain, but you have already spent neatly over 40K, a novella story length with that with almost being only the same day and same scene and there hasn't been much plot or development in the story yet and we hardly know anypony other then his family at the moment, not much for friends, teachers, or the town that he is in, which things seems to finally progress a lot at the 8th chapter which is on a good start now at least. I think a lot the exposition could have been spaced out more with with live, social events, and such, to do a little more lived in world building for to to event out the amount of expo, envelopment , plot, and descriptions a little more. As I said, this is just an observation, as to keep thinks more interesting for readers.
Also you might want to put it in more writing groups to get more attention.
Best of luck
LOL
A risky thing to wish for in a world of magic. Your wish might be granted.
Another thing better not to tempt fate about our you may end up learning a whole new way to do math and base 12 numeric system to boot.
11449177
Don't you go shitting on my boy Dozenal! Damn French changing math...
The whole "Meat gives protein so ponies sometimes eat it" made me roll my eyes.
Humans don't need to eat meat to get protein and grow muscle. Herbivores definitely have no need for it.
That would be Celestia's prior student who got taken over by teen angst because Sunbutt wouldn't make her a goddess instantaneously, the other most powerful unicorn archmage since Starswirl himself, A racist asshole on the schoolboard, a small child, and The Almighty Overgoat himself, Grogar.
Also reading this in epub at the moment because of how long it is but I'll try and pop in on occasion with my thoughts and stuff as I'm going along. Enjoying it so far though!
Neato
It'd be great to see him befriend Changelings as a whole
The
God EmperorGod Empress protects.The unicorn does have a point. Care must be taken while exploring the unknown, magic is no exception.
Don't worry about the friends you'll eventually grow away from. Look forward to the fact that you have friends to grow with.
That is such a human way to say that XP I imagine a normal colt would probably say something more like, "Look, I got my cutie mark! I'm gonna be a doctor! Isn't that great!? Do you think there are some books that can help me?"