Rainbow Dash lives an exciting life and is swiftly becoming the most daring, awesome pegasus in all of Equestria. She would gladly give it all up, though, just to confess her love to Applejack.
“So, let me get this straight...” Lancie sat on the edge of Rainbow's dresser, his face awash with confusion. “You didn't tell her?!”
“Mmm?” Rainbow looked up from where she lazily draped over the bedside, legs dangling.
Lancie waved his stone arms wildly in the dim light. “Y'know! About the cider mill gig in Fillyda and all that crap!”
“Mmm...” Rainbow's eyes darted towards the floor. “No. I didn't.”
“Pfft... well!” Lancie folded his arms as he leaned back against a mirror. “I figured it was the one friggin' freckle-flavored thing we got out of Manehattan!” He smirked. “Don't get me wrong, Sparky, I enjoy a good round of bedlam and calamity, but I still keep an eye out for you. And you know what I see?”
“Mmm?”
“Somepony who likes throwing her own self under the bus! Constantly! I mean... Tartarus!” He stood up and paced back and forth atop the dresser as if it was a miniature stage. “For a pony who seems so intent on 'winning,' you sure do like plopping yourself on the loser's bench time after time!”
“Mmm...” Rainbow Dash sighed, hugging a clump of blankets closer. “It's not that simple...”
“Pfft! Oh, isn't it?” He stood with his paw and talon on his granite hips. “Care to tell me why you didn't drop word about the offer Frilly Pantaloons made?”
“Fancy Pants.”
“Just answer the question!”
“I... I-I guess I was distracted.”
“By what?!” Lancie flapped his arms. “Was the farm having a manure sculpture contest or something?!”
“Lancie, you just don't understand,” Rainbow sighed. “When you're me.. and you touch down on that hot, sun-swept farm... and you smell the tangy sweetness of apples in the air.” Her ruby eyes stared past her blankets, turning more and more glazed. “And you hear her voice—so much sweeter and melodic—like little explosions in the sky.” She gulped. “And you see her bright face like a second sun, her strong legs that hold the earth in place, her green-green eyes that are richer than life itself...”
Silence.
“Mmm...” Rainbow held the blankets tighter, nuzzling the soft fabric with a contented smile. “...and you think of all the times you've cuddled with her, giggled with her, and even grown old with her—even if they're all j-just in your head.” She gulped a heavy lump down her throat, then sighed. “You realize that you've felt like winning all this time, and you know... deep down in your rapidly beating heart you know... that one false move will bring reality crashing down on you. Then will I finally be the loser...”
Lancie avoided her gaze, staring into the shadows.
“I'm going to tell her,” Rainbow said in a dull voice. She rolled over and stared up at the dark ceiling. “About the Fillyda thing, I mean. I'm not going to... I-I mean I can't...”
“Why not, Sparky?” Lancie asked in a quiet tone. “Could you at least tell me that?”
“Mmmf. What's it to you? You and I both know I'm trying to help her with all this 'shard-chasing' nonsense.”
“Stop changing the subject.”
Rainbow sighed. “Because I don't want this to end.”
“What?” Lancie shrugged. “All of the self-deprecation and loneliness and weeks upon weeks of punishing yourself with some stupid soap opera secret?!”
“No...” Rainbow shook her head. “Beneath all of that... in here.” She gripped her skull, then her chest. “And in here.” She sighed heavily. “...we are both as I've always dreamed us to be. And the moment I finally breach that... I know... I just know I will lose the only piece of her I could ever hope to hold close.” Something glittered at the end of Rainbow's lashes.
Lancie looked on.
Rainbow blinked, and the glitter was gone. At last, she droned, “You know where the next shard is by now, don't you?”
“Yup,” he said. “I've known since we left Manehattan.” He pointed. “Due northwest.”
“Is it far?”
“Pretty dang far. Though I doubt that matters.” He folded his arms with a smug grin. “Because something tells me that Miss Emo Queen here is going to drag her hooves for several days of downhome nonchalance and ennui.”
“Meh,” Rainbow meh'd. “Am I that predictable?”
“I can read you like a book, Sparky.”
“In that case...” Rainbow grunted as she finally sat up in bed. “I hope it's scratch'n'sniff.”
“You know...” Lancie hopped down from the dresser and walked towards her. “Let's pretend that this just one giant wild goose chase—a bittersweet extension of your adorably pathetic life.”
“Do I even wanna hear where this is going...?”
“Let's say... that you never win yourself a basket of freckles like you so desire.” He leaned against the bedpost. “We can still find a way to make this work out for you, at least, Sparky.”
“In what way?”
“I'm talking about what we managed to do for Photo Finish with a shard-and-a-half.” His granite eyes narrowed. “And what that very same thing could mean for you.”
Rainbow sat in dead silence, gazing across the shadows.
“Even if you live life a loser, at least you can be a healthy one. Ya dig?”
Rainbow bit her lip. “I... I don't know...”
“You don't know?!”
“Mmm... you heard me.”
“Sparky, how could you possibly give an opportunity like this up?!”
“I dunno...”
“Pretend you do know for once!”
She shrugged limply. “It just... k-kinda feels like cheating to me.”
“Are you friggin' serious?!”
“More than you are.”
“For the first time in millennia, I'm apt to disagree!” He scurried up the bedpost like a lizard and stared her at eye-level. “Sparky, I've seen you in action! Whatever we get knocked out with these shards, you totally and unconditionally earn them! How's it cheating to earn yourself some healthy limbs?”
“I can use them to make Applejack's life better.”
“Sparky, you can win yourself a longer life!” Lancie's eyes brightened above an even brighter grin. “That means several fuzzy pony years of doing fuzzy pony things to make Applejack's life even better! It doesn't take a math wizard to figure that out!”
“I... I...”
“Well?”
Rainbow shuddered, her wings drooped. “I'll think about it...”
“Oh, come on!”
Rainbow hopped off the bed. “I gotta go.”
“And do what, pray tell?!”
Rainbow frowned back. “Something I'm sorely behind on doing!”
“You've got the shower for that, Sparky!”
“Something else! Goddess!” The door slammed behind her.
“Heh... I swear...” Lancie reclined on the bedpost and crossed his arms behind his smiling face. “The world would absolutely implode if she got laid.”
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Dat chapter...
4972993 indeed
4972995 It might sound strange to some but I get where RD's coming from.
Wait a sec... "implode"? As in...
...
4973290
... I don't get it. Maybe I'm just thick or something.
That last line applies to me as well. U_U
Also, this is the first time Discord has called Applejack by her name.
lancie is right. Rainbow, if you do not do this for yourself, i'll be very angry at you. and this story. but mostly at you.
4973347
Nah, I purposefully made it pretty vague in order to avoid spoiling something else. In case you're curious, I'll tell you that it has something to do with the combination of three things – specifically, Rainbow getting laid, the word "implode", and this story's author.
Okay, I lost consciousness for a while because that last line made me facepalm so hard, but I'm back.
I don't know whether to be annoyed at Rainbow for having such a martyr complex, or be happy at how much Discord seems to genuinely care.
4974193
Oh. Oh. I get it now. Thanks for clearing that up!
4974335
I dunno, I kind of like it. I find it a refreshing take on her personality. Normally authors just portray her as being an egotistical jerk with the occasional glimpse of a soft side. It's nice seeing her as a genuinely nice pony for once - although she's always been my favourite so even when she's a jerk I enjoy it (I'm a bit biased in this case, eh?). Then again, I also want to shake her hard to knock some sense into her. Seriously, who would turn down a miracle cure that would save her thousands of bits, give her a longer life, allow mobility and give her time with her loved one? JE's version of Rainbow, that's who.
Seriously though, if this story doesn't end with a cured Rainbow Dash snuggling Princess Freckles I will quite possibly scream. You hear that, JE? That's specifically aimed at you.
4973290
If RD gets laid by the freckle-fairy, after all this buildup, why, I'll be so excited my colon will implode, I swear.
If Rainbow Dash doesn't get bedded by Applejack by the same time she and Roarke did it in Urohringr, I'll seriously blow a gasket here.
And when/if that moment does come, I expect an offshoot fic collection of all the times Rainbow got sexed up by AJ. I'll have grown a spine for clop by then and be able to read it.
I'm expecting some damn-good clop from you, mister...
-tuc
Kiss the girl dang nabbit
Wait... Lemme get this straight, DASHIE is worried about CHEATING ?!? whut.
Also, Frilly Pantaloons.
4974539
Why don't you be the author of said clop? It'll happen faster.
A bit surprised Tchernobog hasn't posted yet.
Also, I think Dash won't be easy on that new weather pegasus for getting in proximity of her Applejack.
Lol Lancie is a riot
4974378 uhhhh... I still don't get it
I have a sneaking suspicion that by the time he gets all his body parts back and is restored to himself, he'll have gone soft enough that he'll do it anyway, even though she'll have somehow managed to never ask him to.
Frilly Pantaloons is best pony name.
For some reason, I always find the word "pantaloons" hilarious.
Dash, self punishment, and showers are all good.
Awww, Discord really does look out for Rainbow in his own way.
Oddly enough, Discord kind of seems to be learning about friendship in a smoother way than he is in the show.
Also, this was one of my favorite chapters in quite some time. Away from the references and back to the character feels.
Omg I'm loving Lancie more and more
makes me curious how the tirek stuff will turn out here
Yeah, we still have that slice of life arc ahead of us.
Dashie.
Have you considered the hypothetical possibility that happy things are allowed to happen to you?