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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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3908516 Asshole.
You'd think after a couple centuries wiht the Canterlot nobles, Celestia would be able to tell when somepony is lying....
Oh well, nice chapter!
So dark and edgy XD
Well another chapter I consider a success. Well done with the song. Even though you might not be musically adept, you did make it very interesting.
You told me this would be out Friday, not Thursday! You lied!!!
LOL...
Everytime I read this story, I fangasm in my pants a little bit.
What the..?
Discord's back... Or did he ever leave?
That's what the archmage looks like?
And they aren't aware that he's a bad guy?
3908819 Ponies be stupid, oblivious creatures...
3908844 ...sorry mom
I can't really explain why, but the way Discord(if that was really Discord.) acted in this chapter compared to the chapter he first appeared in has cause my interest in this story to drop.
Calling it now, and I'm not the only one, the archmage is Discord. What I don't know is what his plan is with the humans, beyond general Chaos, I mean. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
3908844
...Seriously?
You're going to rag on him for adding a small song scene into a fic based on a show that has songs every few episodes?
I don't care if the scene 'didn't quite cut it' for you. It's just a quick largely unimportant musical bit. You could probably skip it and not miss anything.
But leaving a comment that says nothing but "I don't like songs in stories you suck because of this" doesn't help anyone, and it only results in making you look like an ass.
Also, your avatar in conjunction with your comment amuses me greatly.
The song is nice, but I have trouble associating it with an organ. The rhyme feels too upbeat for me.
The Archmage is best Disney villain.
I feel as though the Archmage paid a visit to the 40 thieves
A prison break and a forty thieves reference, watch out boys looks like we got a CODE RED!!!
Ten bucks on the archmage and/or Dark Flare being killed by Golden Ingot.
3908927 Well I know what I would do with unlimited cosmic power now...
Would this artifact happen to be an iPhone? Still can't wait for Max to get it back, some how recharge it, and show it off.
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/517/111/fbd.jpg
I know you didn't intend this, but I imagined the song to the same tempo and tone as 'poor unfortunate souls.'
I had a feeling the Archmage is Discord. And I think he's the one who brought Max here.
I wonder if when Discord finally does reveal himself to the Ponies. if he tries to get Max to go on his side this is what I want max to do to Discord (@ 2:30):
Fuck dark and brooding plotline, get romance. /wink
Honestly though, I'm not all that interested in this 'plot-twist' compared to prior events in the story.It's not wrong or bad, per se, but it's just not that captivating to me, personally.
The angler fish is just so damn cute and cuddly, I mean look at this thing!
images.nationalgeographic.com/wpf/media-live/photos/000/002/cache/angler-fish_222_600x450.jpg
I love this new character, but I do have a question.
Why is there only a single guard posted to the dungeons which house all of Equestria's most dangerous prisoners? What if a prisoner, say, managed to break out and overpower the guard - there would be no one to witness that. It would be a huge risk to ever open a cell door. And what about assaults from the outside? In this case, the archmage talked his way in, but a couple of armed ponies could just as easily have overpowered the guard. It's like if Pelican Bay had one guard, and he was just watching over just the prison entrance.
Aside from that, though, I really loved this chapter.
You know, no matter how many stories I've read it never ceases to amaze me how easy it is to fool Celestia. I mean, she's lived for thousands of years, faced countless foes, been ruling the country and dealing in politics against both smart and dumb figures in power, but along comes some pony who can put two and two together and bam! She has no idea what's going on until it's too late.
3909043 Due to the Gala, most guards were elsewhere. The dungeons are usually watched by four guards on an average day.
Also, to escape, a unicorn would have to remove his magical inhibitor (which they can't do by themselves), open the cell door (which needs a specific key), navigate the tunnels, unlock the main gate (still need that key), get past the guard, travel up through the inside of the mountain, get past the barracks, head through the main part of the palace, and escape Canterlot, without being seen.
You'd need the Ocean's Eleven of ponies for that...
...or just one Archmage
3909065 Being old doesn't make you omniscient
Another great chapter for a great fic.
3909043 Dude...I'm worried about the guard that got kidnapped...I kind of want to kill darkflare now...
Sir Max, This is another fine chapter. May I ask for another?
lh5.googleusercontent.com/--njyRa5W_YM/UtxTGCQxY6I/AAAAAAAAAec/0m9-WwnIzvY/w360-h324-no/Hmm%252CYes.gif
Yes, I believe I shall ask for another.
On a side note, I'm a little upset with
Discorder, the Archmage. . . I thought that he would be more for the freeing of the humans (considering the interval revealing that humans are actually sentient, which I'm sure he knows.) but this seems like he's indifferent if they get slaughtered for ponies entertainment. I thought he was going to at least bash somepony's head for setting up the ring (the guard doesn't count)3909016 I loved that game. Great story telling, but is it needs a little more work in the gameplay department.
This series of developments... I see exactly what you're doing, and oh mine Gods do I approve! I'm all giddy now!
3908788
...Gross...
but yeah, I get that too when I read this.
So the Archmage is being controlled by Discord. And he's a damned good singer! Will this bid disaster for our heroes, find out next time on Your Human and Youuuu!
No but seriously awesome chapter, song was catchy and described well enough that I could imagine it in my head.
3909043
Plot convenience mister Frodo!
3909100 The Changelings are proof enough of that.
Here we are talking about the Princess of Love and she's acting like a total heartless bitch and Celestia sees nothing wrong even after Twilight pointed it out?
Man, ponies be oblivious as fuck.
Like they were just now.
Also what's going to happen to Melodic? I can't stand to see good mares die.
I guess this is now a musical. On a side note, I thought that Discord was going to be the good guy for the human race to coexist with ponies.
3908857 but you can't deny that their damn adorable
3909100 No, but it certainly doesn't make you stupid either. To live that long and be in power for that long, you need to be a very cunning leader or a master of chess. To see checkmate as soon as the game begins. You don't need to see everything to see through the fog of lies, you just need to see the facts as they are. The thing about being a ruler is that you suspect everyone in a position of power has thoughts about usurping you. Sure it's a paranoid, lonely life but should she fail she's not the one that will pay the consequences. It's everyone who follows her into the trap she failed to see.
All of his wealth?
Yeah, no. Especially by Princess "I twice tried to destroy Equestria" Luna. That's some disproportionate revenge right there. Now I want him to be a real villain, just so that he can repay them for that.
Nope, not happy with how things are going in the story at all.
3909043
I'd imagine with no prison breaks, and a low prison population (on average) for the last few hundred years, complacency would be high, especially if they had faith in the prison itself. If you notice, this is visible in the attitude about the one guard who is actually there. She doesn't seem to mind being alone, and assuming she doesn't have any duties that require the opening of a cell, then there'd be no real reason for her to be concerned. Its kinda like house-sitting while someone is on vacation. You're not exactly expecting a break in, and if you're house sitting, its probably a decent house in a nice enough area, so the break in rate is low to begin with.
-------
I didn't really like this chapter. I don't feel that there has been enough down time for the major characters to be starting another major event. Especially one that will put Twilight in a position where she's having to actually act. For Max, it has very much been one thing and then the next, never a break, or proper lull in the action. Perhaps with time skips there has been enough time, but as a reader, it feels a bit too fast paced. Its jarring, uncomfortable, and frustrating. I understand that you're also trying to postpone anything between Twilight and Max, and have the action constantly in the way of that, so that when it does happen, Twilight is just forced to get it out while she can, but I still don't really like the pacing at the moment.
For some reason, when I read that song I kept mentally hearing it in the tune of "I've Got Friends On The Other Side" with elements of "Poor, Unfortunate Souls".
I don't really know what I feel about this chapter. Such an abrupt change.
3909409
Yeah I know! What was up with that? I mean, all he did was try to rape someone.....repeatedly.....and then he had all his money taken from him and had to get a job if he wanted more than having all of his food, housing, bills, and other living necessities paid for him by the royal treasury. Seriously, what's up with that.
I mean, if he had tried to take over the country all that would have happened is that he would have been banished to a barren rock thousands of miles away for a millennium. That's obviously a far less severe punishment than what he got. Totally disproportional.
3908844 The author can put what he wants in his story. It's not your story, silly reader. You're just along for the ride in someone else's imagination.
3909035 NOPE.avi
3909196 only now?
3909321 inb4 rape. i hope not, actually, but Darkflare is scum enough to try, i guess.
3909746 yeah, I wanted him to rot in prison, now I kind of want him dead.
3909748 i wanted him be quartered, gelded and turned into a human onahole toy.
3909646
And then reinstitated as soon as she was hit by a friendship beam, no questions asked. Your point?
Or how about Fluttershy's little escapade last Gala? What happened there? Nothing. Pat on the head, that's it.
What Blueblood did wasn't all that worse than what Mrs. Cake was doing. Yet here, it's used to ruin his life.
Look, I'm not saying he shouldn't be punished, and had they stayed with half I probably wouldn't have said anything, but what's presented here makes me want to drop the story altogether.
3909820 eh i'd nail his balls to the wall with him still attached.