[Clopfic] [Necrophilia/Necromancy] [Mind Control] [Cum Inflation] There's many reasons the crystal ponies feared King Sombra. His journals detail just a few of them.
2808120 I don't think my interpretation of Sombra is that interesting; we already know from canon that he's a Caligula-esque douchebag of a tyrant. I just added a bunch of disturbing details.
And maybe he was intentionally using vulgar language to torment his secretary? Or maybe I can't write old-timey dialogue? Who knows.
If I made any really glaring mistakes let me know.
The only glaring mistake was not writing a second chapter. This is one of the most unique premises I've seen for a clopfic in a long time.
Having the victim suffer from memory loss after being revived seems appropriate, given the circumstances. Mind break stories where the victim follows every command blindly are fun, but I feel like more could be one with this story.
What if Sombra uses his semen to revive a mare who drowned. She's wet and bloated and starting to smell. Once the mare is revived, she remembers that she died while trying to save her child from drowning. Her whole body is sore. When Sombra tells her that he revived her, she wants to do back and save her child.
"Your filly is fish food by now," Sombra said, "Unlike your hapless brood, you are amongst the land of the living. I resuscitated you with my erection. I call it a resurrection."
The mare is grieved that she couldn't save her child. She doesn't want to live this unnatural undeath and begs Sombra to let her die. He hasn't the strength to resist him, so Sombra rapes her back to life.
That's just one idea. There are many more that could come from this premise. I could see Sombra forcing two mares to fight to the death.
"The winner will be allowed to go free," Sombra said.
After one mare is victorious, Sombra desecrates and violates the dead gladiator's corpse. The remaining mare is disgusted. She's about to leave, when she's stopped by the guards.
"Hey!" the mare said, "You promised that I could go."
"Indeed," Sombra said, "The contest was to see which one of you would make me cum; but in order for that to happen, one of you needed to be dead."
The mare watches as the pony she slew returns to life. The undead mare is allowed to go free, while the other mare is taken to the dungeons.
I'm really impressed with this story you've written. The ability to revive deceased partners during sex is a very useful feature.
I'm not sure why I'm aroused by this This is a great read and it should have some more chapters, though I can understand why one wouldn't want to keep writing since it's pretty much corpse rape
2808461 Every time I write a oneshot everyone has to comment and give me ideas
I had an idea for a followup where Vibrant has become his scribe (among other things) and is chronicling another of his horrible daily activities. I might use that gladiatrix idea if I ever return to this.
And damn, why didn't I think of the "res-erection" pun?
2816824 I intentionally minimized details in the description to avoid brain bleach scenarios. Had you read it, you would know that the activities therein are absolutely not portrayed positively.
That was...interesting. Although, it would be foolish to not admit that this does fit King Sombra. He was a monster and did not seem to make any illusions to the contrary. My only suggestion is that when writing about certain...acts...it is sometimes what you do not say that can cause more impact. The human imagination is a horrid thing at times.
2942442 Yes, I actually realized exactly that as I was writing chapter three. I wrote a blog post about it, but long story short, I'm still learning how best to describe those sorts of things.
Thanks for your advice though Hearing someone else point out what I already realized helps make it that much clearer.
Wow, this was weird. I'd have thought a guy like me (hemophiliac) might have enjoyed it more but eh, whatever. You can't win 'em all, I guess. Anyhow, I like how dark this is so far and Sombra's pretty cool, so I guess I'm in for another chapter read for now, if only to see if something in the plot grabs my attention. I like the personal challenge of reading a new sick fetish but I can't say I'm actually finding myself turned on here. Is what it is. Continue on then.
Wow amazing, I usually hate Somra stories but this one got my rocks clicking. Also, for some reason, it reminds me of a news article I read where an old Japanese man had a heart attack on a public train, and his wife gave him a handjob that saved his life.
2942626 the way you described the dead body was pretty accurate in terms of rigor mortis. it takes about three hours for the body to start to stiffen and about 12 to complete paralysis.
And now for something completely different. Is not another crappy "Return of the revenge with a vengeance" story. And for that alone I praise you.
First pony necro story I have read. B-)
a0.twimg.com/profile_images/2161641302/hd_computer_guy_meme_by_zapgod16-d4t2jh3_-_Copy.jpg
I'm uncertain of what to think of this...
2804838
Return of the Revenge 4; This Time it's Personal is actually the name of my next fic (not really)
2805087
You prolly weren't looking, a google site search turned up a few.
2806964
Then I have done my job.
2808120
I don't think my interpretation of Sombra is that interesting; we already know from canon that he's a Caligula-esque douchebag of a tyrant. I just added a bunch of disturbing details.
And maybe he was intentionally using vulgar language to torment his secretary? Or maybe I can't write old-timey dialogue? Who knows.
I did a sweep for typos, fixed a few things.
The only glaring mistake was not writing a second chapter. This is one of the most unique premises I've seen for a clopfic in a long time.
Having the victim suffer from memory loss after being revived seems appropriate, given the circumstances. Mind break stories where the victim follows every command blindly are fun, but I feel like more could be one with this story.
What if Sombra uses his semen to revive a mare who drowned. She's wet and bloated and starting to smell. Once the mare is revived, she remembers that she died while trying to save her child from drowning. Her whole body is sore. When Sombra tells her that he revived her, she wants to do back and save her child.
"Your filly is fish food by now," Sombra said, "Unlike your hapless brood, you are amongst the land of the living. I resuscitated you with my erection. I call it a resurrection."
The mare is grieved that she couldn't save her child. She doesn't want to live this unnatural undeath and begs Sombra to let her die. He hasn't the strength to resist him, so Sombra rapes her back to life.
That's just one idea. There are many more that could come from this premise. I could see Sombra forcing two mares to fight to the death.
"The winner will be allowed to go free," Sombra said.
After one mare is victorious, Sombra desecrates and violates the dead gladiator's corpse. The remaining mare is disgusted. She's about to leave, when she's stopped by the guards.
"Hey!" the mare said, "You promised that I could go."
"Indeed," Sombra said, "The contest was to see which one of you would make me cum; but in order for that to happen, one of you needed to be dead."
The mare watches as the pony she slew returns to life. The undead mare is allowed to go free, while the other mare is taken to the dungeons.
I'm really impressed with this story you've written. The ability to revive deceased partners during sex is a very useful feature.
2808428
I'm not sure why I'm aroused by this
This is a great read and it should have some more chapters, though I can understand why one wouldn't want to keep writing since it's pretty much corpse rape
YES YES finally someone besides me that has done a story on crystal ponies!
2808428
And maybe he was intentionally using vulgar language to torment his secretary?
Idea: none of this actually happened, he just came up with the idea one day and made his secretary write it down to make her cry.
That was hot, even though I'm not that into Necrophilia. Decent work here.
2811515
Thanks.
2809396
Pretty much
2809871
I wouldn't put it past him.
2808461
Every time I write a oneshot everyone has to comment and give me ideas
I had an idea for a followup where Vibrant has become his scribe (among other things) and is chronicling another of his horrible daily activities. I might use that gladiatrix idea if I ever return to this.
And damn, why didn't I think of the "res-erection" pun?
That was fucking awesome..... Its been awhile since necrophilia turned me on like this. I fucking support this!!!!!!!!
Not gonna read it. What's more, you made me need brain bleach without having read a word of it.
2816824
I intentionally minimized details in the description to avoid brain bleach scenarios. Had you read it, you would know that the activities therein are absolutely not portrayed positively.
But thanks for commenting?
2814960
Thanks
an odd story... but a strangely enjoyable one, well done
This was lovely.
2830322 2834700
Thanks.
Two more entries in the "confused, but aroused" category
2835775
That is definitely, definitely not the word I would have used.
But thanks
That was...interesting. Although, it would be foolish to not admit that this does fit King Sombra. He was a monster and did not seem to make any illusions to the contrary. My only suggestion is that when writing about certain...acts...it is sometimes what you do not say that can cause more impact. The human imagination is a horrid thing at times.
2942442
Yes, I actually realized exactly that as I was writing chapter three. I wrote a blog post about it, but long story short, I'm still learning how best to describe those sorts of things.
Thanks for your advice though Hearing someone else point out what I already realized helps make it that much clearer.
Wow, this was weird. I'd have thought a guy like me (hemophiliac) might have enjoyed it more but eh, whatever. You can't win 'em all, I guess. Anyhow, I like how dark this is so far and Sombra's pretty cool, so I guess I'm in for another chapter read for now, if only to see if something in the plot grabs my attention. I like the personal challenge of reading a new sick fetish but I can't say I'm actually finding myself turned on here. Is what it is. Continue on then.
Wonderfully disturbing.
Meh, I only added it to my faves so I could finish it later, but it's kinda... macabre... for my taste...
You scare me.
I think I love you.
Wow amazing, I usually hate Somra stories but this one got my rocks clicking. Also, for some reason, it reminds me of a news article I read where an old Japanese man had a heart attack on a public train, and his wife gave him a handjob that saved his life.
2942626 the way you described the dead body was pretty accurate in terms of rigor mortis. it takes about three hours for the body to start to stiffen and about 12 to complete paralysis.
The vengeful return of the 'why boner'
5331953
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0zQirSjP00Q
I could have linked the original version, but being MLP, this seemed better