The part where Vibrant gets her second turn seems to miss a part...

Very nice

I loved the first part where he reanimated the corpse. I almost would've liked to see Sombra hold the living mare down so she can be raped by the zombie mare.

The second half of the story didn't really do anything for me, since I've never been a fan of first-person clopfics.

I'd like to see this story continue. If you need more ideas, don't hesitate to ask.

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And here I thought I had put plenty of fap material in there

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Not the term I would have used, but thanks.

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Wait, wasn't chapter 1 entirely in first person?

Radiant Shield and Bright Blade are in the next chapter.

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There's a big difference between the first person from a male and female perspective.

Projecting myself as King Sombra is fun.

Projecting myself as the mare getting screwed by King Sombra is less fun.

Damn better than the first!!!!!
I still fucking approve!!!!!

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Well, Dark tag and all. Not always supposed to be fun.

I actually kind of enjoyed writing chapter 2 more than chapter 1. Chapter 1 felt kind of generic; getting inside a different viewpoint was a bit more interesting as a writer.

THIS IS AMAZING

Lol keep all his generous gifts till you pop like a balloon vibrant lol

I like what you did, with the capital I while they're together and the lowercase i when they're not.

That was intentional, right?

This is absolutely brilliant and just sadistically macabre! Just pure divine loving hate! Sex aside, I don't even care about that right now. This story is just genius. I'm ashamed I never thought of anything similar, but perhaps that's been because I've been distracted by romantic comedies recently. That bit with the subtle change of capitalization in regards to Vibrant's use of "I" was just poetic. The shift of seeing herself as a useless object, unworthy of self-recognition as a pony, to a being of recognition and autonomy through her service to her 'beloved' King and back to useless object when her job is done. I LOVE IT!

It's amazing what a slight change in the use of capitalization can do the conveyed message and emotion of the character. I barely started reading this, but I'm marking it down as a favorite right now.

4280656 Thanks.

I partially got the capitalization idea from Twilight, Revised (though obviously it nor this are the first to use such a device). It doesn't use it in a subtle way, but as a stylistic choice I can see why the author went with that. I tried to be more subtle here, and nice to see it worked (If you liked this story, you should definitely go read that one )

Vibrant's first person section was actually one of my favorite scenes to write (aside from autocorrect getting in my way). Putting myself in such an alien mindset and playing with punctuation to help express it was an interesting experience.