• Member Since 4th May, 2013
  • offline last seen June 9th

NeverClever


ACAB | Kinky aroace ♠️ | All pronouns accepted

Sequels1

Comments ( 108 )

And now for something completely different. Is not another crappy "Return of the revenge with a vengeance" story. And for that alone I praise you.:moustache:

First pony necro story I have read. B-)

2804838
Return of the Revenge 4; This Time it's Personal is actually the name of my next fic :rainbowkiss: (not really)

2805087
You prolly weren't looking, a google site search turned up a few. :raritywink:

2806964
Then I have done my job.

2808120
I don't think my interpretation of Sombra is that interesting; we already know from canon that he's a Caligula-esque douchebag of a tyrant. I just added a bunch of disturbing details. :trixieshiftright:

And maybe he was intentionally using vulgar language to torment his secretary? Or maybe I can't write old-timey dialogue? Who knows.

I did a sweep for typos, fixed a few things.

If I made any really glaring mistakes let me know.

The only glaring mistake was not writing a second chapter. This is one of the most unique premises I've seen for a clopfic in a long time.

Having the victim suffer from memory loss after being revived seems appropriate, given the circumstances. Mind break stories where the victim follows every command blindly are fun, but I feel like more could be one with this story.

What if Sombra uses his semen to revive a mare who drowned. She's wet and bloated and starting to smell. Once the mare is revived, she remembers that she died while trying to save her child from drowning. Her whole body is sore. When Sombra tells her that he revived her, she wants to do back and save her child.

"Your filly is fish food by now," Sombra said, "Unlike your hapless brood, you are amongst the land of the living. I resuscitated you with my erection. I call it a resurrection."

The mare is grieved that she couldn't save her child. She doesn't want to live this unnatural undeath and begs Sombra to let her die. He hasn't the strength to resist him, so Sombra rapes her back to life.

That's just one idea. There are many more that could come from this premise. I could see Sombra forcing two mares to fight to the death.

"The winner will be allowed to go free," Sombra said.

After one mare is victorious, Sombra desecrates and violates the dead gladiator's corpse. The remaining mare is disgusted. She's about to leave, when she's stopped by the guards.

"Hey!" the mare said, "You promised that I could go."

"Indeed," Sombra said, "The contest was to see which one of you would make me cum; but in order for that to happen, one of you needed to be dead."

The mare watches as the pony she slew returns to life. The undead mare is allowed to go free, while the other mare is taken to the dungeons.

I'm really impressed with this story you've written. The ability to revive deceased partners during sex is a very useful feature.

I'm not sure why I'm aroused by this :rainbowhuh:
This is a great read and it should have some more chapters, though I can understand why one wouldn't want to keep writing since it's pretty much corpse rape :unsuresweetie:

YES YES finally someone besides me that has done a story on crystal ponies!:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

2808428
And maybe he was intentionally using vulgar language to torment his secretary?

Idea: none of this actually happened, he just came up with the idea one day and made his secretary write it down to make her cry.

That was hot, even though I'm not that into Necrophilia. Decent work here.

2811515
Thanks.

2809396
Pretty much :trixieshiftright:

2809871
I wouldn't put it past him.

2808461
Every time I write a oneshot everyone has to comment and give me ideas :raritydespair:

I had an idea for a followup where Vibrant has become his scribe (among other things) and is chronicling another of his horrible daily activities. I might use that gladiatrix idea if I ever return to this.

And damn, why didn't I think of the "res-erection" pun? :rainbowlaugh:

That was fucking awesome..... Its been awhile since necrophilia turned me on like this. I fucking support this!!!!!!!!:twilightsmile::yay::trollestia::moustache::raritystarry:

Not gonna read it. What's more, you made me need brain bleach without having read a word of it. :facehoof:

2816824
I intentionally minimized details in the description to avoid brain bleach scenarios. Had you read it, you would know that the activities therein are absolutely not portrayed positively.

But thanks for commenting?

2814960
Thanks

an odd story... but a strangely enjoyable one, well done

Comment posted by orleansII deleted Mar 19th, 2021

2830322 2834700
Thanks.

Two more entries in the "confused, but aroused" category :rainbowkiss:

2835775
That is definitely, definitely not the word I would have used.

But thanks

The part where Vibrant gets her second turn seems to miss a part...:rainbowwild:

I loved the first part where he reanimated the corpse. I almost would've liked to see Sombra hold the living mare down so she can be raped by the zombie mare.

The second half of the story didn't really do anything for me, since I've never been a fan of first-person clopfics.

I'd like to see this story continue. If you need more ideas, don't hesitate to ask.

2848443
And here I thought I had put plenty of fap material in there :raritydespair:

2851505
Not the term I would have used, but thanks.

2852711
Wait, wasn't chapter 1 entirely in first person? :rainbowhuh:

Radiant Shield and Bright Blade are in the next chapter.

2852991
There's a big difference between the first person from a male and female perspective.

Projecting myself as King Sombra is fun. :pinkiesmile:

Projecting myself as the mare getting screwed by King Sombra is less fun. :pinkiesick:

Damn better than the first!!!!!
I still fucking approve!!!!!:raritywink::twilightsmile::yay::trollestia::moustache:

2854173
Well, Dark tag and all. Not always supposed to be fun. :rainbowkiss:

I actually kind of enjoyed writing chapter 2 more than chapter 1. Chapter 1 felt kind of generic; getting inside a different viewpoint was a bit more interesting as a writer.

That was...interesting. Although, it would be foolish to not admit that this does fit King Sombra. He was a monster and did not seem to make any illusions to the contrary. My only suggestion is that when writing about certain...acts...it is sometimes what you do not say that can cause more impact. The human imagination is a horrid thing at times.

2942442
Yes, I actually realized exactly that as I was writing chapter three. :duck: I wrote a blog post about it, but long story short, I'm still learning how best to describe those sorts of things.

Thanks for your advice though :twilightsmile: Hearing someone else point out what I already realized helps make it that much clearer.

This is really messed up.
I like it.


Help me...

2949558

Ok

Your mushroom soup is shit on a hot plate.
Get out of my fucking kitchen

Wow, this was weird. I'd have thought a guy like me (hemophiliac) might have enjoyed it more but eh, whatever. You can't win 'em all, I guess. Anyhow, I like how dark this is so far and Sombra's pretty cool, so I guess I'm in for another chapter read for now, if only to see if something in the plot grabs my attention. I like the personal challenge of reading a new sick fetish but I can't say I'm actually finding myself turned on here. Is what it is. Continue on then. :twilightsmile:

This fiction is just.... Literally one of my favorites... I love character interaction more than almost anything else in literature and the emotions, internal debate, loopholes if logic, forcing of personality alteration... Nnnnnnggggg~

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thanks :twilightblush:

2949558 Another entry in the "confused, but aroused" category. That category is my favorite :rainbowkiss:

2960377 I intentionally idealized everything by removing blood and gore (and I toned down that one spot). Given the number of people who found it sexy despite themselves, I think it was the correct move.

2997186 Uhm, I read the wikipedia article. That was about it. :trixieshiftright: Does wikipedia even count as "research" any more? Probably not.

As I said in the author's notes, I'm not a necrophiliac, so I was mostly extrapolating based off of more mundane experiences. My cat falls asleep on me a lot, and she's such a sound sleeper that she has that very limp, easily jostled/jiggled quality. There's something like that for every part of the story. Not terribly exciting, I'm afraid :applejackunsure:

I haven't read any other necroclop, but I guess having the best one is an accomplishment? :rainbowhuh::rainbowderp::rainbowkiss: Either way, glad you enjoyed it :twilightsheepish:

I wish I could say J'me tire (I'm out), but strangely enough I just keep reading. This is so fucking wrong, but so hot. I'm a disgusting human being, but hey, aren't we all?

3001129 At least you aren't the one writing it :applejackunsure:

This is one of the best Sombra clopfics ever!

Lol keep all his generous gifts till you pop like a balloon vibrant lol

3078267 Thanks. Either there's not a lot of those or I'm quasi-competent. :twilightsheepish:

3083860 That profile pic and name :rainbowderp: Thanks :twilightsheepish:

3085017
A little of both. I enjoy your stories and Sombra is woefully underrepresented.

These mind games are SO cruel and messed up without any gore... I can't help but like it!
Corruption at depravity their finest. Go on and make more. Please?:raritystarry:

2997186 I...I'm a little scared to check if there's a group for that on here, really.

*poke with stick*:rainbowderp:
Is it alive? Will there be any more? Preferably soon?:rainbowwild:

I like what you did, with the capital I while they're together and the lowercase i when they're not.

That was intentional, right?

3228132 Eventually; I've got the next chapter drafted but I have too many projects :unsuresweetie:

3275779 Yes. It was actually kind of annoying to do since Word's autocorrect kept trying to change them back :ajbemused:

Hum... from a quick glance of the story, it seems to use a rare topic, but likely in a generic way. (just guessing considering it has Sombra as the main character. And going by the name.) But did want to ask in either case: Does it contain anything innovative? Or is it the same old usual stuff of some guy using their dick to fuck things, while overall being a douchebag? While generally any females are made off cardboard. (and excuse me if I sound a little "meh" to it, but last like... 7 fics I've read has been trainwrecks. And one was even worse than that due to the author being a liar about the content to get more views. So, just a little on expectation, so sorry if that comes off as a bit rude. But it's hard to keep hopeful after a constant downpour of "blah" results.)

(So yeah, a overall quick resume would be really neat if you could.)

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