Lord Leikvard Redbeak descended towards the castle with a strong flap of his wings, his guards falling into perfect formation behind him. The griffon never did enjoy talking with the alicorn sisters... they were simply too peaceful and harmonic in his opinion, not a single true warrior among them. Not that it could be helped though, there was an important issue that needed to be dealt with; a decision had to be reached concerning the area of the former Blackshadow Reach.
In the past, the mountain range known as Blackshadow Reach in the north of Equestria had formed the natural border to the griffon empire... but not anymore. There had been an earthquake, followed by a landslide and the collapse of a large part of the mountain range. As a result, a huge canyon had formed.
A huge canyon that now stood like an open gate between Equestria and the griffon empire... the natural border was gone. And now, a new border had to be drawn.
The problem, however was that none of the two nations wanted the area as its own. It was nothing more than a wrecked landscape, difficult to oversee and hazardous to cross... diamond dogs had already started to dig their tunnels into the debris... At the same time though, none of them wanted the other side to lay claim to the area. After all, it was still an open path between the two kingdoms.
Making it accessible would be extremely hazardous, any operation in the secluded area was difficult and expensive... not to mention what it would mean to send an army to secure the region. Splitting it between the two nations would not do either; too much potential for conflict. And letting it go to the diamond dogs? Leikvard shook his head, that was completely out of the question. He could only hope that the alicorns would make some sort of offer that he could accept, but he somehow doubted it.
Even as Leikvard and his bodyguards landed on the platform of the main tower, his thoughts did not leave him peace. Time was of essence here, the longer they waited the deeper the dogs would dig... The doors of the large tower opened, but what stepped out of them was no alicorn.
"What in the world?" Leikvard raised an eyebrow as he watched the strange creature approach. He checked his surroundings carefully, shouldn't there have been guards? The platform was completely empty except for him, his guards and... whatever it was.
"Greetings!" the strange creature offered a broad smile and spread its arms, "It is my pleasure to welcome the great Lord Redbeak and his fearless griffon warriors to Canterlot castle!" he bowed deeply before the griffons, "May your talons always find the meat of your prey."
Redbeak gave a short nod, whatever this thing was, at least it knew what respect meant. He waited for the creature to rise again, "Thank you for your welcome... but who are you? Where are princess Celestia and princess Luna?" his brow furrowed, "More importantly, what are you?"
For a short moment, a small, white and blue butterfly flew around the necromancer's head, its little wings fluttering furiously. Aergad pushed it away with a small wave of his hand, "Me? Oh, you are going to love me!" he watched the butterfly fly around him with a smirk... it was glowing in the dark.
---
"They're bringing more cake!" Twilight wailed desperately as the pygmies stuffed another piece of frosted dessert into her mouth.
"Where do they even get all of this stuff?!" Calindria cried out as she furiously tried to evade the slice of cake aimed for her mouth.
"It's delicious!" Luna sobbed between bites.
Next to her, Celestia too was trying to free herself from her bonds while being force fed a milkshake. She had managed to evade some of it, but she feared that she had already gained several pounds... not to mention that her whole coat was covered in sugar. Her eyes widened in fear as she saw the pygmies carry out a huge banana sundae.
"Princess Celestia? Princess Luna?" they all looked up and into the face of Pipsqueak, "Why are you inside a box?"
"Kid?" Calindria looked up between another bite, "Don't look inside or..." she paused, "How come you don't fall inside?"
"Fall inside?" Pipsqueak raised an eyebrow in wonder before spotting the mountains of cake, "Oh, wow! Can I have some too?"
For a moment, Celestia did not understand how the little foal had managed to open the box without being trapped by it. But then, she remembered what one of the imps had once told her; the necromancer would never endanger a child... or a foal for that matter. Granted, it would lessen her fury... but not much.
"Young foal?" she called up to the foal, "You are our only hope. Can you find a way to get us out of this trap?"
Pipsqueak scrunched his face, trying to understand why they would want to leave the magical land of candy... but she was the princess. The foal picked up the box, inspecting it from all sides as the feast inside continued relentlessly. For a moment, he wondered what he should do and then, out of impulse... he turned it around and gave it a shake.
---
"And then... and then, you know what she answered?" Aergad's grin widened as he gasped for air, "She ate the cherry!"
Leikvard burst into laughter, hammering his fist onto the table as the necromancer poured him another glass of Ruby Coast and struggling for breath as tears entered his eyes. "Beautiful!" the griffon laughed as he took another big gulp, "I would never have thought that my visit here would be this entertaining!" he gave Aergad a poke as he started to slur in his drunken state, "You have got to visit the griffon empire sometime, you know... meet someone more of your caliber."
"Oh?" Aergad chuckled as he watched the griffon wobble on his seat, "Is that an offer I hear?"
"Just a suggestion!" Leikvard put his arm around the necromancer's shoulders, "Someone with your talent is obviously wasted on the ponies! When you do get bored, send us a message!"
"I'll keep it in mind." Aergad smiled.
Their celebration was interrupted as the doors to the royal hall were thrown open, and Celestia entered in a dash... her coat smeared with cake and the alicorn clearly upset. The moment she spotted the two at the table, many emotions ran over her face; anger when she spotted the grinning necromancer... and worry when she saw the heavily drunken griffon.
"Lord Redbeak..." she started, furiously trying to think of how to excuse whatever mischief he had undoubtedly already performed. The countless butterflies she had encountered on her way had not necessarily lessened her anger... not in the least.
"Ahh, Celestia!" Leikvard greeted her with a smile she had never seen before, the old griffon had never been the friendly type... "Me and Aergad here were just talking about you! A most splendid..." he turned to the necromancer, "What were you again?"
"You mean besides awesome?" Aergad replied, making both of them burst out into laughter.
"Well, whatever he is..." Leikvard continued, "He is simply fabulous!" he sighed, "Well then, I fear that I must return to the empire to make everything official." he turned to the necromancer, "Think about my offer."
"What?" Celestia asked with surprise, "But what about Blackshadow Reach?"
"Me and Aergad have already come to an agreement, and I am sure you will be delighted to hear..."
The necromancer held up a contract, the griffons' seal imprinted on it shining like a beacon as he grinned with that maniacal smile, "That we're going to be neighbors! I've gotten a nation of my own!"
If Celestia's mouth could have dropped any further it would have... Next to her, a butterfly exploded into a puff of magic, and a dazed Shining Armor hit the ground.
"It's delicious!" Luna sobbed between bites.
Oh my god.
The mental image of that.
I'm dying. My sides are in orbit.
Oh god that ending!
TO WAR WITH THESE PONIES!
That's it.
I'm gonna die.
I've accepted my fate.
HERE IT COMES.
*DED FRUM LAGHTAR*
dear god. the laughter. it hurts.
oh god, little necromancer country in between the the countries. And the griffions love him. This can't end up being anything but hilarious! oh god this was Soo worth the wait!
gnoll you magnificent bastard this fic i tell ya. i hope it never ends.
You sir know how to make a funny story.
haters gonna hate.
2925128
The cake was delicious!
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My sides the are hurting like they have never hurt before.
...We should have seen this coming...we REALLY should have seen this coming...
Well played sir, well played indeed.
Thou art the most magnificent of Bastards! (Where is the Luna emote when you need it )
2925986
myconfinedspace.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/I-Say-700x564.jpg This was indeed a skillful move on his part, unexpected, yet entertaining... As the Internet-landers say, 'Me Gusta', good sir.
2926395 Quite, quite. Tell me old bean, what do you suspect his next daring move shall be, hmmm?
2926455 That is a question I am unable to answer, for our favorite necromancer is quite unpredictable, acting upon impulse, and since it is known fact we barely use ten percent of our brains, there is no telling what his next move may be, although I DO believe this nation will become a graveyard for the lost, perfect for his experiments. Quite a logical and obvious move, wouldn't you say?
2926470 Oh yes indeed, though I find myself awaiting his interactions with his lands current inhabitants with equal shares of both trepidation and merriment. Or have thou forgotten that the valley is already dotted with those insufferable ruffian slavers, the Diamond Dogs? I fear he shall not take their enterprises with the ponies lightly, no sir, no indeed.
2926496 An accurate point, indeed! Perhaps he shall utilize those unwanted trespassers on his new home as experiments, may I say? That is the most accurate assumption one can make, is it not?
2926550 Ah, but you forget your previous statements old chap: such mundane terminology as "accurate" and "most likely" have no hold over the summoner of the deceased, as such, he is just as likely to utilize the Diamond Dogs for his daring delves in dark magic as he is to invite them over for tea and crumpets.
2926576 yes... but you do realize that the more we continue this conversation, the less ideas we give tho author to work with, since we would be bringing these ideas to public announcement prior to the release of the next section of this work of literature?
2926602...I see your point, I just enjoyed speaking in a high-class and elegant fashion. Tally-ho old bean!
2926621 Have a wonderful evening, old chap!
A Necromancer Country?......................................................................................................................................................................................................
And so begins the Dawn Of a New Age.
FLEE MORTALS AND ALL WHO INHABIT THIS MISERABLE LITTLE SEEDLING, FOR THE END OF DAYS IS FINALLY UPON YOU
THE NECROMANCER HAS HIS OWN NATION
IT WILL BE KNOWN AS DILDONIA
ITS CAPITAL BEING THE GREAT COCKSALOT
WITH TOWNS AND CITIES SUCH AS PENISVILLE AND HORNYTON
I was laughing so hard that my face turned red, and I could not breathe for about a minute, at least normally.
Aergad, oh the fun you will have.
they should be thanking him! now, when they try to eat cake or any other sweets, they'll propably throw up or gag. and, in the long run, they'll become more fit, and healthy
2925661 had to go watch it again
i bet he'll name his own little land necromancia, or something naughty
He should terraform the entire region into a giant glacier name it Icecrown and build a gigantic citadel out of the hardened blood of eldritch abominations on its highest point and then have tea parties on top of it with the princesses while being catered by undead horrors.
2927930
Freezy-pop/Frisbee/whatever: Hanging out with little boys in Spandex, I see?
Vegeta: Yes... *face change*
2929228
*Goku arrives*
Gohan: ''eugh, daddy!''
goku: ''eww, faggot!'' *elbows Gohan in the face*
2929585
Vegeta: "He... he didn't invite me to his birthday party!"
Goku: "Wha-? YOU MONSTER FRISBEE!"
Frisbee: "The cake was delicious!"
2929600 encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQQ4IDeqQShT8gmDl-5ojxjTzW3rp-63wLwSQMWWGfKk97k9NSB
Frisbee: when i'm done with you, you're going to have to pee sitting down like a girl! hoi hoi hoi
vegeta: real sayians always sprinkle when they tinkle!
Goku: he's right you know!
2929611
Frisbee: "Wa- your hair! Haha, what are you? Gay?"
Goku: "yah..."
Frisbee: "..."
2929710>>2929611 mrwgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Speechless-Reaction-Gif.gif
2929723
We're sorry. Our memory has just decided to throw OneyNG cartoons back to the front of our minds, thus causing a quote war.
2929898 T'was a glorious war indeed
2932669
Both sides suffered numerous Lulz...
2935444
2932669
You both stunned null to silence... I am impressed by such a feat. You have my respect and my lulz!
The doors of the large tower opened, but what stepped out of them was no alicorn.
First, you had my curiosity... Now? You have my attention! XD
2928776 AND THE TOWER WILL LOOK LIKE A GIANT COCK! LONG LIVE THE KING! XD
2926977
AN AGE OF MADNESS AND BEING WILD’
6861302
LONG LIVE KIG BABY!
im still having a really hard time breathing right now from to much laughing please make more gold like this this is priceless
6861302
all the yes and with a crown on top that doesn't fit on top so it leans weirdly