Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Additional contributions by MixMassBasher.
Dear Princess Luna,
I need your help to upstage my siblings, for once.
A younger sibling in need of assistance,
Spike
Dear Spike,
Say no more.
Your understanding alicorn,
Princess Luna
Dear Shining Armor,
Have you replaced the current patrol guards with the competent ones trained by Flash Magnus before the trail run? I would rather retire knowing that Equestria is in good hooves.
Your retiring solar monarch,
Princess Celestia
Dear Princess Celestia,
Not to worry. I've replaced the current incompetent guards with even more incompetent ones. Plus, I heard your sister even got Fluttershy's lazy brother to be a guard, as well. Equestria is in good hooves.
Your best captain of the guard,
Shining Armor
Dear Shining Armor,
Good... Wait... WHAT!?!
-Princess Celestia
Dear Twilight Sparkle,
What you need to do is try one of my featherbrained schemes. They are all guaranteed successes and will ensure you get revenge on those that wronged you!
Your Definitely Trustworthy and Scottish Duck,
Flintheart Glomgold
Dear Rarity,
You owe me big time.
That scumbag with a dick for a brain is so obnoxious! And if I hear Zephyr say one more time that I always fucking dress in style, I'm gonna murder him.
Your fed up friend,
Rainbow Dash
Dear Twilight Velvet and Night Light,
Guess who finally got the sibling supreme crown!
Your adopted son,
Spike
Dear Spike,
We don't fucking care.
-Twilight Velvet and Night Light
Dear Shining Armor,
Why geese!?!?
Do you not know how much birdshit the maids have to clean on a daily basis if this were to be the new and improved security system!?
At least tell us that you didn't get this idea from that ridiculous goose game.
Signed,
Raven Inkwell and Kibitz
Dear Raven Inkwell and Kibitz,
Okay.
I didn't get this idea from that ridiculous goose game.
Signed,
Shining Armor
Dear Diary,
So, Luna thinks she can just sabotage this test run, does she?
Well I got a lotta little things I have planned on my bucket list on our coming sister vacation that I'm sure she'll enjoy.
Signed,
Princess Celestia
Dear Applejack,
Why is a picture of you overlooking a bunch of applebucking zebras on your farm making the rounds around town? Do you have any idea how many outraged idiots I have banging on my doors?
-Twilight
Dear Twilight,
Sweet Celestia, talk about out of context. Zecora wanted to know if I needed any extra help with applebucking this season, and I was as accommodating as I could be. Featherweight came by and wanted a picture of applebucking in action. So I guess the little shit wanted to stir up some outrage. You need to get the local media under control, Princess.
-AJ
Dear Applejack,
Oh, so NOW it's okay to bring the Foal Free Press into my propaganda machine when it's your reputation at stake?
Whatever. I guess as long as they're 'employees', and you're paying them, I have something to say to calm the unruly mob outside.
-Twilight
Twilight,
Wait, what? I'm not paying them.
Three apples a day and a burlap sack to sleep in. Even gave'em a place in the cellar to sleep. But you know, not the Racist Barn. If you recall, they're not allowed in there. Just ask Zecora, it's much better than where they came from. Speaking of where they came from, that's where they're going right back to when applebucking season is done.
But after looking at that picture, guess I could talk to Rarity about modernizing Apple Chord's wardrobe too. The white suit might be a little too old fashioned.
-Applejack
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Wow. It's only been two days, and you worked that picture into a chapter.
10093217
Part of my creative side thrives on stupid internet drama.
I don't need two days. I need fifteen minutes.
10093220
Watching Plantation Applejack Picture be revamped over and over again has been enlightening. And horrifying. Occasionally heartwarming. But mostly 4Chan levels of brain bleaching required.
10093262
I assume you haven't seen the episode.
If they're that competent why did you not keep Flash Magnus and instead relied upon the old captain? You've only yourself to blame for the resulting incompetence, Celestia.
"Trial."
My dearest Mistress Headmistress Empress Princess Twilight Sparkle,
I know from experience that if you are going to take advice from a Scottish duck, make sure it is not a Scottish duck that is drenched in the stench of failure. The duck does not even have to be Scottish. It could be a sailor duck, a robot duck, a superhero duck, a vampire duck, or a maybe even a Duckman. ...As long as his name is not Howard. If you have to listen to a Scottish duck, it is better to go with the one who was The Doctor over the one who was Mister Wick. The point is that there are a lot of ducks out there and you should really just tune out Scottish asshole ducks.
Signed your loyal slave and amateur duck counter,
Neko Majin C.
~KBO.
We created the crown so Sparkle and Shining would devote their energy to something constructive and not taking over the world like most powerful unicorns their age.
(Also, was there not much other material for this episode, or did you just want to strike while the Plantationjack meme was hot?)
10094882
Yeah, you got me. All the episode material was Mix's, and I went all in on Plantationgate.
10093217
Wait, what picture?
10095542
2276843
10094882
Wait, plantationjack? The heck’s that all about?
Let me see if I understand this correctly:
They decided to add all of those security measures after Sombra’s attack on Equestria. They waited until after Nightmare Moon, Discord, Chrysalis, Tirek, Chrysalis again, and the Storm King- to do all of it.
Not only that but apparently they just believe anyone wearing a Royal Guard uniform and not assume they’re a spy or ask for any identification. Seriously Rarity, impersonating a law enforcement officer is a federal offense. They also see Applejack putting on that show and not immediately detain her knowing that she’s an accomplice working for Twilight.
...Yup. Seems legit.
I swear I am tempted to do a parody of Screen Rant’s Pitch Meeting series over episodes like these.
Ugh... Zephyr is a Gen 3 fan?
Honestly RD, you'll be doing both worlds a favor by killing Zephyr though it will cost you your friendship with Fluttershy and her family if you do so.