Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Pinkie Pride
Dear Diary,
So today was Rainbow's birthiversary. I wondered how I could possibly top her last two birthdays. Two years ago, she got swimming lessons, and the year after that, she got a Daring Do book signed by A.K. Yearling. How was I going to top those?
As I began to ask for volunteers, the first one to speak up was a pony named Cheese Sandwich, who came into town and was all like, "Pinkie, everything you know is wrong." Another party-planning pony, he sang on and on about the various parties he had headlined. The party in the CIA sounded pretty impressive. Pretty soon, everypony forgot about my plans and went to help him with his. For a little bit, I tried other careers, but shortly decided to take my title back.
So I return to the site of the party and challenge Cheese to a Goof Off. We stared each other down and dared each other to one-up the other. Dare to be the goofiest. Dare to be the silliest. Dare to be stupid. Now that we each had our polka face on, we started to sing a complicated song. Cheese wasn't pulling any punches when he decided to ripoff my very own song! What, you think you're all clever just because you can make a parody of other ponies' songs? Puh-lease.
But I realized it had gone a little too far when I crushed Rainbow Dash with the...um...whatever that was. So I decided to forfeit, and pack up my things and go home. Then, the others apologized for getting so wrapped up in Cheese's party preparations and forgetting about me. Cheese also reveals that he got into planning parties because of me. So we decide to team up. While he went and made up a batch of his famous lasagna, I made another trip to the hardware store for some last-minute items. While we're on the subject of his food, I hope he eats more than cheese sandwiches. If so, he's bound to get fat sooner or later, and he'll have to go on a grapefruit diet.
But that huge balloon of Rainbow Dash? The spotlight and ice sculpture of her cutie mark? I mean, wow. I think Twilight's gonna need a new egometer when Dash's readings break her current one.
Right before leaving town, I was thrilled that Cheese spent one more minute to give me his cock. Twilight is gonna be super jealous.
So here's to you, Cheese Sandwich. It's been just a little less lively here since you've been gone. Thanks for the leftovers. Next time the girls just want to have lunch, I'll tell them to eat it. I guess I'll let your copyright infringement of my song slide this time, because that was a heck of a party! The garbage collectors are gonna have their work cut out for them on trash day. Speaking of parties, I've gotta go plan another one! Mayor Mare wants me to do a party for the anniversary of Mare Do Well too, sort of like an ode to a superhero party.
Guess I also have to find that hole in the multiverse I forgot about. Can't believe Gummy slipped through.
By the way, I hope you stopped by my family's rock farm on your way out of town. It's quite the Amish paradise.
-Pinkie Pie
~We've been spending most our lives
Living in a pony paradise
I've baked cupcakes once or twice
Living in a pony paradise
Party hats at discount price
Living in a pony paradise
I'm ripping off Pinkie Pie
Living in a pony paradise
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I wish I could thumb-up each of your letters individually.
All the song-title drops, ALL OF THEM.
But yeah this is one of my favorite letters of the whole bunch.
I personally found this episode to be pretty funny. 'Oh Pinkie, you've been our friend for a while and we love the parties you throw. What's that? A new pony in town we've never heard of before that claims he's the best party pony? Well it's obvious we have to go with this guy instead because even though we've never heard or seen him before it's obvious that he is better than Pinkie.'
I have never laughed harder. Bravo!
3880215 5 Internets to you if you can spot them all!
I count ten song references.
3880252 Nope.
This ship I wish to float...forever...
So many references. I think I'm gonna listen to some Weird Al now.
Let's see:
Lasagna
Fat
Eat iit
Everything you know is wrong
Party in the CIA
Dare to be stupid
Polka face (All the Polkas!)
Hardware store
Girls just wanna have lunch
It's moldy now?
Trash Day
Since You've Been Gone?
and of course
Amish Paradise!!!
I foresee someone doing a Pony Paradise mix in the future
3880279 Nope. Not all of them!
Yes, he gave you his "boneless" cock. That'll really fuck with Twilight.
THE REFERENCES.
Did anyone catch the ode to "Cupcakes" with Pinkie's decision to become a nurse and hoofs a rainbow colored cupcake to the surgeon?
Or am I looking for cultural references where there are none?
The only ones I spotted that 3880279 missed are Grapefruit Diet and A Complicated Song (though I didn't catch all the ones s/he did)
3880254 ...fuck
3880346 Ooop, wait. My bad. Nope. You've got the right number, but one is wrong.
Hoo boy that's a lot of song title drops.
3880284
One more minute
A complicated song
Headline news
Grapefruit diet
Ode to a superhero
Any more?
3880381 Many more, plus one of those is wrong.
So many title drops, so little time!
There. I think that's most of them.
Okay... half of them.
Would you believe 42% of them?
Fine. I guess I'm not as much of a couch potato as I think.
3880325
They throw us so many bones I can't even tell anymore.
She may have forfeited the Goof-Off. But at least she didn't lose on Jeopardy.
I hope that wasn't the Nature Trail to Hell that Cheese Sandwich was moseying off on to.
Seriously, I think this letter was your best one to date Miles.
More like pissed that it's not a certain type of cock else Twi could put Pinkie with a cock to good use. XD
3880325 More exactly, it had each of the mane six's coat color :3
I loved the episode, and this was just icing on the cake! Excellent work with the song drops, too.
That was too easy. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Thaaaaat's more like it.
Afterthought: according to the rest of the comments, Dare to be Stupid is only one of many Weird Al puns you made, so its glaring obviousness was only as big a sin as the rest of this entry. Well, sue me, I'm not as familiar with Weird Al songs as I am with movie titles (did this same thing with Bond titles under one of JohnPerry's spy fics).
I just got it when I put together the accordion and the weird everything, then I looked up Cheese.
It's more than a Weird Al parody, Cheese Sandwich is actually voiced BY Weird Al!
3881159
andrew.cmu.edu/user/jdeng/Images/Slowpoke.png
: "Today was Rainbow's birthday, and the anniversary of the day she arrived in Ponyville - in other words her parents kicked her out the very moment she turned 18."
3881159 everyone's acting so surprised about this. How have you not heard!? It's been all over the net for weeks!
3881253 I don't actively search for spoilers?
3881284 And I love you because of that fact.
3881338 Thank you! Someone gets it!
Best song eva!
so many references.
3881175
Wow, that image was hosted on the servers at my alma mater! Small world, eh?
3880628
Yeah, but Twi still wouldn't be able to get off. It's like someone put her under a curse to be forever sexually frustrated.
3880443
That and "One more minute with you" to give her his dick.
So many references.
Haha! All those Weird Al song references
Haa! Glorious
Dying here
3881818 ...you didn't get that one? She said cock! as in, chicken! He gave her his chicken!
(All the references to Weird Al's work made me smile. Just like seeing him in the guest voice section in the credits. He is awesome.)
Ya know, out of all of the stories I've read on this site I have only thumbed up about ten of them. After this chapter you've earned it.
Dear Pinkie Pie:
I see your party's absurd
and I think it's for the birds,
Oh I can tell you're crazy, you perform this way
I've heard you're always so high,
You think that you might just fly,
Oh yes you're a drug addict, you perform this way
Love, Princess Celestia.
P.S.: If you had been upstaged by Cheese Sandwich, you'd have to take off that cutie mark and get another tattoo
3883094
At least Pinkie knows when to dare to be stupid.
3880217
Actually, I was under the assumption that Dash was the only one who was thinking that Pinkie and Cheese were going to work together from the very beginning but when she saw Pinkie confront Cheese like that she immediately realized that she wasn't working with him the entire time and once again, she ignored Pinkie Pie to the point that she thought her friends didn't want her anymore.
Awesome episode, awesome chapter!