The Wheel and the Butterfly
A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga
Part 12 Dan Vs. Couples
Chapter 107 Dan Vs. Showdown
-ooooooo-
“What do we do?!” Jean cried in a panicked tone.
Jennifer furrowed her brow at the panicky hippy. “Uh, call me crazy—”
“You’re crazy!” Pinkie chimed in.
Jennifer shot a glare at Pinkie and continued, “—but I think we hold Pinkie hostage.”
“WHAT?!” Jean cried. “We can’t do that!”
“No really,” Pinkie continued. “You are actually out of your mind! And that’s coming from me!”
Jennifer turned and focused red hot eyes of pure, unadulterated hate at Pinkie. “JUST SHUT UP! OH MY GOD! WHY CAN’T YOU JUST SHUT UP FOR LIKE FIVE MINUTES?!”
Pinkie paused and thought about this. “Uh… talking is sorta my thing… I mean… one of my things…” She smiled. “I have many things, you see…”
Jennifer gripped at her hair in frustration. “SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!”
Pinkie put on a thoughtful expression. “Hmmmm… nah,” she said with a shrug.
“Uh, Je-Jennifer?” Jean said as she tried to force calm into her voice despite it shaking. “I think you may need to calm down just a little…”
Jennifer glared at Jean. “And I think you need to get ANGRY here! Your husband just got beaten up for crying out loud!”
Jean frowned. “Well at least this just further proves what a violent man Dan is.”
“Oh, like we needed any more proof!” Jennifer cried as she threw her arms out to her sides.
“Yeah!” Pinkie chimed in. “I mean… I could have told you that!” She glanced up towards her eyebrows as she scrunched her brow. “In fact, I probably did…”
“Look,” Jennifer began, “I say we go out there, take out Dan and get our husbands back in here.”
Pinkie raised an eyebrow. “‘Take out Dan’? No offense, but after our little bathroom skirmish I can tell you that even both of you probably couldn’t take out Dan… especially if he’s out for blood. And believe me, he’s out for blood! Not to mention Amber’s ticked off, too!”
Jean and Jennifer turned towards each other then back to towards Pinkie.
“Amber is out there?!” Jean exclaimed.
Pinkie pursed her lips. “Geezy-cheesy am I not good at keeping these things on the down-low…” She sighed before she continued, “Yes, Amber’s peeved that she was scalded with hot tea and wants to beat up Jean.”
Jean stared out into space with a worried expression. “Oh well… maybe we can reason with her,” she uttered out quietly to no one in particular.
Jennifer shot Jean an unamused expression. “Seriously? In all likelihood she’s helped Dan beat up both our husbands and you think you can somehow talk this out with her?”
“Uh, to be honest I really don’t know what to do anymore,” Jean admitted. “I didn’t think it’d be easy to break Pinkie of the hold Dan has on her, but I didn’t think he’d track us down and start picking us off one by one!”
Pinkie scowled at Jean. “Dan doesn’t have ‘a hold’ on me. He’s my boyfriend and I love him! And he sure the heck treats me better than any of you four!”
Jean sighed and shook her head. “Look, this is starting to seem like a lost cause at this point.”
“Starting?! Are you loco in the coco or what?!” Pinkie cried in an exasperated tone.
Jean turned towards Jennifer. “So… what?” she said in an annoyed tone. “Our husbands get beat up and you just want to give up?”
“Well, I never meant for things to get like this!” Jean exclaimed as she threw her hands to her sides.
“You were the one ready with a bottle of chloroform when we first picked up Pinkie!” Jennifer pointed out.
“I thought we might need an edge to get her away from Dan! That’s it!” Jean threw up her hands. “I’m a pacifist for crying out loud!”
Jennifer let out a frustrated “Uhg!” She scowled at Jean. “Fine! If you’re out then I’ll handle this myself.”
“Oooo! Oooo! Good idea!” Pinkie exclaimed as she smiled a little too wide. “I bet you can go out there and totally, absolutely, assuredly not get beaten up by Dan!” She turned towards Jean. “How was that?”
“Uh… You laid it on a little too thick,” Jean informed.
Pinkie scrunched up her eyebrows. “Rats!” she exclaimed.
Jennifer turned and scowled at Pinkie. “Oh, I’m not going out there to fist fight him.” She reached behind her back, lifted her pink shirt slightly, and pulled out a small boxy pistol that had been sitting in her waist band.
Jean's eyes went wide as she stared at the pistol in Jennifer’s hands. “Uh… Jennifer? Why’d you bring your gun?”
Jennifer rolled her eyes. “Because I thought things might have gotten out of hand since we were kidnapping someone! Turns out I was right!”
The color drained from Pinkie’s face. “Erm… If anyone was still wondering if there was a point where I would be completely unable to trust you, I can tell you that there was and that Jennifer just crossed it and is going around for a victory lap…”
Jennifer flashed Pinkie a somewhat crazed look with a smile to match. “Guess what?! No one cares!”
“…I care,” Jean said.
“Shut up, Jean!” Jennifer snapped back
“Jennifer!” Jean said in a pleading tone. “You can’t just shoot Dan!”
“He savagely attacked my husband!” Jennifer cried.
Pinkie cocked her head to the side. “Uh… Only because Jason helped kidnap me! And I mean… He’s just bound and gagged and laying out behind a bush! It’s not like Dan shot him!”
Jean looked down at Pinkie then back up at Jennifer. “Jennifer, I’m sorry, but I have to agree with Pinkie. It’s perfectly normal to feel angry over what happened to your husband, but I think you’re taking this a little bit too far.”
“Hey! You started this! If you don’t have the stones to finish it, I guess I will!” Jennifer cried.
Pinkie rolled her eyes. “And the award for most cliché thing said this evening goes to…”
Jennifer tilted her head slightly as she stared wide eyed at Pinkie. She neither smiled nor frowned but simply stared at Pinkie as she slowly rose her weapon and pointed it at her. “I’m really sick of listening to the sound of your voice.”
“…Eeep!” Pinkie said quietly as her sky-blue eyes focused on the item pointed at her.
Jean looked back and forth between Jennifer and Pinkie and quickly lunged forward.
‘CLACK!’
-ooo-
Still hiding behind the bushes, Dan quickly lowered his binoculars. “Aaaand she just pointed a gun at Pinkie. Let’s go.”
Dan reached down and picked his crossbow up off the lawn before he broke into a sprint and rushed towards the house entrance as Amber and Mr. Mumbles quickly followed him. Without even slowing Dan shifted his body and threw his shoulder into the front door.
‘THUD!’
The door held fast and Dan pulled back and quickly threw his body into the door once more.
‘THUD!’
“Uh, Dan?” Amber said. “Since time is of the essence, why don’t we try a window instead of—”
‘THUD!’
Amber sighed, “—the front door…”
“Merrow!” Mr. Mumbles cried in concern.
‘CLACK!’
The trio all paused briefly at the sound of a gun firing from inside the house.
Amber’s eyes went wide.
Mr. Mumbles let out a small, concerned sounding “Mew.”
Dan stared at the door with an expression filled to the brim with seething rage. Two things were very clear to Dan. He needed to get back to Pinkie, and this door was in his way. The latter seemed easier to the deal with at the moment. Dan pulled his fist back.
“Dan!” Amber cried. “That’s not going to…” She paused as she stared at Dan’s fist. Is his fist glowing… red?
With an angry cry, Dan let his fist fly. “RRRRRAAAAAGH!”
‘KATHUD!’
The lock and hinges on the door quickly gave way as Dan’s punch sent the door towards the ground.
Amber stared at the fallen door in shock. “Ha… how did you do that?”
“Punched really hard!” Dan replied. “Come on!”
Dan, Amber, and Mr. Mumbles quickly made their way through the first story of the house, towards the stairs, and up into the second floor. Dan sprinted down the hall, crossbow at the ready. He couldn’t help but utter a sigh of relief at the scene in front of him.
Jean and Jennifer struggled over the gun as Pinkie stared at them with a slightly glazed-over expression.
“Pinkie!” Dan exclaimed. “You’re alright.”
Pinkie turned towards Dan as water began to well up in her eyes. “I wanna go hoooome!” she wailed as tears began to stream down her cheeks.
“Don’t worry,” Dan said. “I’ll get you out of here.”
“Phew…” Amber said as she walked into the living room. “Everyone’s still alive.” Mr. Mumbles bounded in after her.
Dan pointed his crossbow at Jennifer. “Don’t worry, I’ll fix that!”
Jean and Jennifer paused and stared at Dan.
“Wait!” Amber cried as she stepped in between Dan and his target. She looked at Dan. “Let’s not let this get any wor—“
Jennifer quickly pushed the distracted Jean away from her and leveled her gun once more.
‘Thump!’
“Look out, Amber!” Jean cried from the floor.
Amber frowned. “There’s a gun pointed at me right now, isn’t there?”
“Oh, there so totally is!” Pinkie said.
“Way to go, Amber!” Dan cried angrily.
Amber sighed. “I’m just going to go and start hitting Jean now…”
Dan nodded. “You do that.”
Amber stepped aside allowing Dan and Jennifer a clear shot at each other. The two silently stared down the sights on their weapons as they kept their fingers firmly on the triggers.
Pinkie’s gaze slowly drifted between the two armed individuals. She felt her heart tighten in her chest as she stared at the pistol pointed directly at her boyfriend. She began to bite down on her lower lip, causing the skin under her teeth to go white from the pressure.
“Were you really just going to shoot me?” Jennifer asked.
“You pointed a gun at my girlfriend, so the thought had occurred, yeah,” Dan replied.
Jennifer paused. “… Yeah, okay, I can see that…”
“How’s this,” Dan said. “You’re mad I beat up your husband. I’m crazy ticked off you helped kidnap my girlfriend and pointed a gun at her—”
“Wait!” Jennifer cried. “How come I’m just ‘angry’ and you’re ‘crazy ticked off’?”
“You could have killed Pinkie!” Dan exclaimed.
“Well uh… you… er… kinda locked us in…” Jennifer trailed off. “Alright, carry on…”
“As I was saying,” Dan continued. “How about I put down my crossbow, you put down your gun, and we’ll try to thrash each other like civilized people?
“Hmmm…” Jennifer hummed ponderously as she considered this.
Pinkie continued to silently watch the scene in front of her with wide, fearful eyes, completely oblivious to the fact that her lip had started to bleed.
Jean looked up in surprise as Amber bent down and offered her a hand. She reached out and grabbed it and Amber helped her too her feet. “I thought you wanted to start hitting me?”
Amber nodded. “That’s the plan.”
“Then why help me up?”
“Well, I’m not going to just start beating you while you’re lying on the floor!” Amber cried. “I mean… not yet anyhow.” Amber slowly raised her fists up in front of her face.
Jean reached up and pulled of her glasses, she gently set them down on the couch next to her. She closed her eyes and held her arms out wide. “Whenever you’re ready.”
Amber’s eyes widened as she lowered her fists slightly. “You’re just going to let me hit you?!”
Jean nodded. “Yes, my violent acts have brought nothing but misery today. I can’t in good conscience resort to more violent acts that could cause any more damage.”
“Well that’s no fun!” Amber declared. She sighed as she let her arms go slack and her fists fall down to her sides. “Guess I can’t just hit someone if they’re not going to fight back…”
Jean opened her eyes and smiled. “See, Amber! I knew I could remind you that a peaceful solution is always the best path.” Jean chuckled. “Only barbarians ever resort to petty vengeance.”
‘POW!’
“OW!” Jean cried as she reached her hands up to her nose.
“Sorry,” Amber said, “but you just reminded me that Iloath you.”
Jean looked at Amber with a fearful expression as Amber pulled her fist back again.
“I’m just going to beat you senseless now,” Amber said with a wild, joyful look on her face.
Jennifer continued to stare down the length of her arms, past the gun in her hand, and at the target in front of her. Her stance almost mirrored that of the man just a few feet away, save that Dan was holding a loaded crossbow.
“Just one question,” Jennifer said.
Dan sighed, “What is it?”
“How’d you get inside?”
“I punched the door down,” Dan informed.
Jennifer frowned. “Uh… wow…. I don’t think I’m putting my gun down.”
Dan knitted his brow. “Super…” he uttered.
Pinkie whimpered.
Mr. Mumbles uttered a concerned sounding “Mew.”
“Uh, Goofball?” Dan began. “I could use your help here. Last time I checked I wasn’t bulletproof.”
“Ka… Kinda tied to a chair here, Dan…” Pinkie stammered out in a fearful tone.
“Have you tried not being tied to a chair?” Dan asked.
Pinkie furrowed her brow. “You make it sound like I could have slipped out whenever I wanted!” she cried. Pinkie threw up her hands in frustration. “I mean! It’s not like I’ve just been sitting here because I forgot I could wiggle myself out of almost… any…” Pinkie trailed off as she noticed her hands were now free.
Dan chuckled.
Jennifer narrowed her eyes. “And what, pray tell, is so funny?”
“The girl standing behind you,” Dan replied. “She’s the funniest person I know.”
Jennifer’s eyes closed to narrow slits. “You really think I’m dumb enough to look behind me?”
Dan shrugged and lowered his crossbow. “You’re dumb enough to point a rubber chicken at someone holding a loaded crossbow.”
“What? That doesn’t…” Jennifer trailed off as she realized her gun suddenly felt limp and rubbery. She glanced down at her hands and determined she was, in fact, now holding a rubber chicken. Jennifer’s face went pale as is she heard a low, angry growl from behind her.
Jennifer slowly turned her body as a pensive expression gripped her features and held on tight. She ended up facing exactly what she expected, however her prediction being correct did not make her feel any better.
Pinkie’s had closed her eyes into narrow slits and was currently focusing her plasma hot gaze at Jennifer. “Grrrrrr… No one points a gun at my boyfriend…”
Jennifer swallowed.
-ooo-
In the front lawn of the house, the two men who had an unexpected run in with Dan squirmed against their ropes as they attempted to free themselves.
Jason attempted to cry out through the fake beard that had been shoved in his mouth. “Mmmph! MMMMM!”
Flynn squinted as he tried to focus on his surroundings without his glasses. “Eeeeeehhhh…” he moaned. “Ha… hang in there, Jason…” He rolled his body closer to Jason and positioned himself back-to-back with the other man. “I think I can reach your ropes…”
Flynn strained against his bounds as he reached his fingers out towards the rope around Jason’s wrist. He began tugging and pulling at the ropes to the best of his ability.
“MMMMMMPGH!”
“Sorry!” Flynn exclaimed. “But it’s not like I’ve ever done this before!”
“Perhaps I can be of assistance,” a masculine voice called out.
The two battered and bruised men looked up in surprise as a man who was the spitting image of Dan approached. Though the better kempt hair, less casual attire of a button up shirt and tie, voice, and blue eye color made it clear the two were dealing with someone who wasn’t the angry misanthrope.
The Dan look-alike leaned down and quickly undid the bounds around the men’s hands, allowing them to sit up.
Jason pulled the fake beard from his mouth as Flynn untied the rope from around his leg.
“Who are you?” Flynn asked.
The man chuckled. “Just an associate of the two you ran afoul of.” He smiled as he continued to speak, “Piece of advice, don’t tangle with Dan unless you have a really good plan of what to do when he shows up. He’s far more resourceful than he looks.”
“I have a plan,” Jason said as he rose to his feet. “It mostly involves kicking his skull in.”
The man nodded. “A noble goal,” he said with a smile.
Flynn glanced at Jason then turned back to the mystery man. “Why are you here?”
“Hmmm, well it seems I’ve developed a nose for those two,” he said as he punctuated his sentence with a chuckle as if he was in on a joke the other two men present weren’t. He waved his hand dismissively and returned to smiling. “Anyhow, I have something for Dan. A gift.” The man reached into his pocket and pulled out a plastic fork and a plastic knife and handed the items to Flynn. “You see, he set me free.”
“Uh… right…” Flynn said as he grabbed the items.
Jason winced and rubbed the back of his head. “Look, thanks for the help, but we need to go and pummel the two up there.”
Flynn turned to Jason. “Uh… and probably save our wives?” he reminded he caught sight of his glasses and walked over to them.
Jason glanced at Flynn as he bent down to pick up his glasses. “Yeah, that too…” He turned back to where the other man was standing. “So if…uh...” Jason trailed off as noticed he was now talking to open air. “Where did…”
Flynn donned his glasses and scanned their surroundings. “He’s gone…”
Jason shook his head. “Well, whatever… I need to either write some names down or kick some ass, and I’m all out of space on my notepad.”
-ooo-
“Meow?” Mr. Mumbles mewed as the sounds of violence, pained cries, and angry grunts rang out.
Dan nodded as he stood in the, now rather disorderly, living room and stroked Mr. Mumbles. “You’re right Mr. Mumbles, there is a lot of anger being worked out in here.”
“Hey, Dan.”
Dan looked down and grinned wide as he noticed a small boy standing in the hallway. “Hey Dennis!” Dan said excitedly. “How’s it going?!”
Dennis walked into the room and glanced at the two sets of women engaged in a brutal struggle, or more accurately, a set of women engaged in a pretty lopsided smack down, and another set on the receiving end of that smack down. He smiled. “Recently? Pretty good!”
Dan nodded. “Well that’s good to hear! Hey, do you want to head out a get a bite to eat? Maybe belittle some hapless food workers for making life choices that force them to work at such late hours?”
Dennis’s face lit up. “DO I?!”
Pinkie paused mid-punch to look up at Dan. “Dan, Ninja Dave stays up all the time and you don’t make fun of him!”
Dan frowned. “Yeah, but he’s a ninja… I mean being up when it’s dark is sort of his thing…” Dan reasoned.
Pinkie let her fist fly.
‘POW!’
“AHHHH!” Jennifer cried as she continued to struggle vainly as Pinkie continued to straddle her.
“Hmmm…” Pinkie hummed. “Well, how do you know the people who work late at restaurants aren’t ninjas?” she posed.
Dan balled his hands into fists and put them on his hips as he furrowed his brow at Pinkie. “Now that just seems unlikely!”
Pinkie grinned. “I bet that’s just what those ninja, late-night food workers want you to think!”
Dan’s expression softened as his eyes widened. “Huh, that’s actually a pretty good point.” Dan smiled. “Oh well! I’m sure we can find something else to make fun of!”
“HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!”
Amber ceased her pummeling and looked towards the living room entrance along with Pinkie, Dan, and Dennis. Flynn and Jason stood in the doorway and looked into the room.
Jason focused rageful eyes over Dan then let his gaze drift over towards Pinkie.
Flynn merely focused his attention on trying to keep upright as he held his forehead with one of his hands.
Dan motioned to the pair. “We can make fun of these two clowns who’ve already been beaten up tonight and have apparently come back for more!”
Dennis shrugged and smiled. “Works for me!” He turned towards Jason. “You’re overweight and your hair is curly and stupid!”
“WHAT?!” Jason cried. “Your hair is curly, too!”
“Yeah, but it’s curly and awesome!” Dennis shot back.
Jason glared out angrily at the small child.
Flynn shot Jason an irritated glance. “Please don’t get into an insult war with my child.”
“He started it!” Jason cried as he motioned out to Dennis.
“Alright, timeout,” Amber declared as she rose to her feet. “How’d you two get out of your ropes, anyhow?”
“Uuuuuuh…” Jean uttered from the ground, her arms and legs splayed out in all directions as she looked up at the ceiling with a glazed-over expression.
His hand shaking slightly, Flynn held out the plastic kitchenware for Dan. “A man came by and untied us. He gave you these…”
Dan shifted Mr. Mumbles so he was holding her in one arm and grabbed the kitchenware and looked at it thoughtfully.
“He said you set him free,” Flynn added.
Dan looked up at Flynn, then down at the plastic fork and knife in his hands. He shrugged and threw the two items over his shoulder. “Huh, weird.”
“Oh, who cares about that?!” Jason cried. “You two are going to pay!” he declared as he stared out at Dan and Pinkie.
Pinkie furrowed her brow as she stood up and walked away from Jennifer.
Flynn simply rolled his eyes and walked over towards his wife.
Jennifer tried to dizzily stand up, but her limbs gave out almost immediately and she fell back to the floor with a ‘Wathump!’
Pinkie glared at Jason and threw her arms out to her sides. “Oh-my-GOSH! You freakin’ kidnapped me! Your wife pointed a gun at me and Dan! And you’re angry because we responded by roughing the two of you up?! And people think DAN has anger issues.”
Dan chuckled. “You tell ‘em, Goofball.”
“Merow!” Mr. Mumbles mewed.
Jason just shook his head. “I don’t care what happened to you two! All I know is both of you made me incredibly angry and you’re both going to suffer!” He focused attention on Dan. “Now put down that cat and let’s go for round two.”
Dan shrugged. “Suits me.” With that, Dan quickly lobbed Mr. Mumbles at his would-be attacker.
“MEEEERRRRRROW!” Mr. Mumbles cried as she flew through the air.
“AAAAAAAHHHH—MMMPH!” Jason cried as the cat landed on his face.
Mr. Mumbles scrambled over Jason’s head in a panic and leapt to the floor as the man fell towards the ground.
‘THUD!’
“Merrrowowowowoooww!” Mr. Mumbled cried in a protesting tone as she looked up at Dan.
“Oh, like you were doing anything, anyhow!” Dan shouted back.
Dennis giggled to himself. “I like you guys, you’re fun.”
Amber sighed, “Can we go now?”
Pinkie smiled. “Just one more thing.”
In a pink flash accompanied by the sound of his bones cracking, Dan quickly found slim, feminine arms wrapped around him.
‘CRACK!’
“Ooofff!” Dan uttered. “Hey, Goofball.”
Pinkie giggled. “Hey…” she cooed out. “Thanks for coming to save me…”
Dan smiled as he wrapped his arms around Pinkie. “It’s what I’m here for...”
“THIS ISN’T OVER!” Jason called out as he rose to his feet.
Dan, Pinkie, and Amber sighed.
“Really?!” Dan cried as he broke his embrace. “You want another thrashing?!”
“Yeah…” Pinkie said as she shook her head. “Talk about a glutton for punishment.”
Jason narrowed his eyes at the couple. “You two and I have unfinished busi—”
In the blink of an eye a slim hand appeared from behind Jason and chopped into his neck with a solid ‘Thwap!’
Jason’s eyes rolled back in his head and he hit the ground with another loud ‘Thud!’
Pinkie’s face lit up. “ELISE!”
“Hey, Pink—OOFFF!” Elise cried as Pinkie wasted no time in rushing over and throwing her arms around her friend.
“You’re just in time for… Uh…”Pinkie turned and scanned the room full of beaten and battered people. “…a late dinner, I guess…”
“TOOK YOU ALL LONG ENOUGH!” Dan roared.
Chris, Ninja Dave, and Becky all shuffled into the room with nervous, apologetic expressions on their faces.
“Sorry Dan…” Chris offered. “We all tried to call you, but…”
“All our calls went to voicemail, dude,” Ninja Dave informed.
“Yeah,” Becky chimed in. “Elise even tried to scan police frequencies and stuff to listen for anything that sounded like you might be involved, but there’s been a city wide epidemic of phones, radios, and even internet going bust.”
Elise spoke up, “We eventually just had to look up the address of the Goodhills.”
“In a phone book, even!” \Chris added.
Becky shuddered. “It was like going back in time to the dark ages.”
Dan continued to scowl. “And all this took several hours?!”
“Sorry…” Dave offered. “Becky and I were at the movies… and uh… got distracted afterwards.”
Pinkie sighed. “Why am I never here for these things?”
Chris rubbed the back of his head. “Uh… Elise really likes having her tail brushed.”
Everyone turned and flashed Chris a confused look.
“Don’t tell them that!” Elise cried.
Dan sighed. “Whatever, you’re all failures as friends and I hate you all… so you’ll be paying for dinner.”
“Hey,” Ninja Dave pretested as he pulled out his blowgun. “At least I can take out Amber.”
“No wait!” Amber cried as she threw her hands out in front of her.
‘Thof!’
“SON OF A…!” Amber called out as she felt a sharp pain in her neck.
“Uh, Dave?” Pinkie said. “Amber helped Dan rescue me.”
“…Ooops.” He said with a nervous grin. “I’ll uh…just get her the antidote now…”
Amber’s eyes glazed-over as she wiped a hand over the lotion on one side of her face and began licking it off her fingers. “Oh my gosh! I’m delicious! How come no one told me?!”
“Hilarious,” Dan said. “But you’re all still dead to me.”
Chris frowned. “If you got to hit us all, would that make you feel better?”
“Hey!” Becky protested. “I don’t like these terms!”
Dan pondered this and shrugged. “I would like to see you all in pain, but I’m feeling a little punched out at this point.” He turned towards Pinkie. “Would you…?”
Pinkie shook her head. “Sorry Dan, but I’m just happy to not be tied to a chair anymore.”
Dan folded his arms and grumbled irritably to himself. He turned towards Amber. “Amber?”
Amber said nothing, but stared off into space as she licked one of her arms.
“Sorry,” Ninja Dave said as he walked back towards he group. “The antidote takes a little bit to kick in…”
“I’ll do it!” Dennis said enthusiastically.
Dan smiled. “That a boy! Kick ‘em. Kick ‘em right in the shins!”
Dave turned towards Elise. “Are we just supposed to let this happen?”
Elise shrugged. “Getting kicked—OW!— by a child seems a lot better than Dan punching –OWCH!—” Elise frowned down at Dennis “—Just once, okay?!”
“He said, ‘shins!’” Dennis pointed out.
Elise sighed and rolled her eyes.
Dennis delivered a sharp kick into one of Chris’s shins “OW!” then the other “AUG!”
Elise continued, “Anyhow, this seems better than the alternative.”
Dave shrugged. “I guess you—OW!—have a point—GAH!—He kicks hard for such a small guy…”
“OUCH!” Becky exclaimed as Dennis also delivered a kick into her shin, quickly followed by the other. “OW!” She shook her head. “Weirdest problem resolution ever…”
Elise and Chris both cocked their eyebrows and looked at her.
Elise spoke up, “Just wait until you spend a little more time with Dan… this will seem pretty tame in comparison.”
Amber slowly raised a hand to her forehead. “Uuuhg… my head…” She pulled a disgusted face and stuck out her tongue before turning to the group. “Are we done now?!” Amber cried. “I think we’re really pushing our luck with the police at this point.”
“Alright, alright…” Dan said. “Let’s get some dinner…”
Pinkie smiled and bounded up to Dan, immediately slipping one of her hands into his.
The group, including Dennis and Amber turned to leave.
“PINKIE, WAIT!” Jean cried out.
“Uh… you too, Dennis…” Flynn added.
Dan felt the hand he was holding tense and glanced up in time to see one of Pinkie’s eye twitched quickly followed by her pulling back her lips and grinding her teeth.
“You don’t have to go with them!” Jean cried. “You don’t have to live your life this way! You don’t have to be stuck with Dan!”
“Ffffffeeeeeoooooow…”
The color drained from Dan’s face as he heard a not unfamiliar sound of a balloon quickly deflating. “Pa…Pinkie?” he stammered out as he looked at his girlfriend.
He saw the unwelcome sight of her hair laying completely straight. However, instead of the tears he was used to seeing accompanying the look, Pinkie gazed out into open space with a wrathful expression.
With a loud ‘THUMP!’ Jean soon found her back being pressed against the wall as a firm arm pressed against her shoulder and collarbone and another against her neck.
Flynn looked on fearfully as Pinkie held his wife up against the wall. Pinkie stared out at Jean with eyes that looked like they could melt metal if need be.
Elise looked across the room with wide, surprised eyes and leaned in closer to Ninja Dave. “Did you… did you even see her move?”
Ninja Dave looked on with an expression that mirrored Elise’s and shook his head.
Pinkie began speaking in a low, almost whisper quiet growl of a tone, “I think I’ve reached my quota on people telling me how I should live my life for today.”
“Ba…but…” Jean stammered out.
“Uh, Jean, honey?” Flynn said. “I think you better let this one go…”
Pinkie continued, “You have no idea what it’s like to be me! I don’t… I don’t even feel the same as I used to… It’s like something good and magical is missing from this place and I feel that it’s gone… EVERY FREAKIN’ DAY I wake up and I know something isn’t here… What’s even worse is I know that it’s been replaced with chaos and violence.” Pinkie grit her teeth as her voice slowly began to raise in volume. “You don’t know… to you, it’s normal, for me… I have to wonder how long I can take it. Wonder if this world will someday bury me in unhappiness, and turn me into something I’m not. So don’t even try to tell me what’s good for me because you don’t have a clue!”
Jean just stared out at Pinkie as her heart pounded in her chest. “I didn’t… I didn’t know…” she whispered out.
“No, you didn’t,” Pinkie hissed out. “You just took one look at me and thought you knew what was best for me. That you could fix me in a way that would make me happier… Well, I know what will make happy.” Pinkie’s eye twitched. “And unfortunately for you, there’s a little voice in my head telling me it’s throwing you out a window…”
Flynn froze. “You… you wouldn’t…”
Pinkie’s lips curled up into a sinister smile full of clenched teeth. “Oh, I think I would…” Pinkie purred out.
Dan and the rest of the group likewise stood in place. Unsure of what to do about Pinkie and her sudden shift in behavior. Even Dennis who seemed to be enjoying the chaos had gone quiet.
“Dan,” Chris whispered out, “what do we do?”
Dan swallowed and shook his head. “I don’t… I don’t know… I’ve never seen her like this…” he admitted.
Pinkie suddenly shifted and held Jean’s upper arms in a vice-like grip as she stared wildly at her.
Jean closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
“…Are you going to hurt my mommy?”
Pinkie’s eyes suddenly shot open and the crazed smile on her face disappeared. Her pupils began to dilate is it slowly dawned on her what she was doing.
Everyone turned to face a small, red-curly-haired child that stood in the living room doorway.
“Uh… Kale, buddy?” Flynn said. “Maybe you should—”
“No…” Pinkie interrupted. “I’m not…”
Everyone quietly shifted their attention back to Pinkie.
“I just realized the voice in my head isn’t mine… it’s coming from this place…” Pinkie gently set Jean down and walked away.
Kale quickly sprinted over to his mother and wrapped his arms around her. Flynn also stepped up to Jean and embraced her and his child as the couple began to sob uncontrollably, the evening's events having taken a toll on both of their bodies and psyches.
Pinkie turned towards Dan and walked up to him, her hair still straight and her expression blank.
Dan felt his chest tighten and looked at Pinkie with an apologetic look as if her speech had been directed at him. “I’m…I’m so sorry…” Dan said.
Pinkie shook her head. “Don’t be. It’s not your fault.” A small smile finally appeared on her face and she reached out to caress Dan’s stubble-covered cheek. “If it weren’t for you, I don’t know what I’d do… I think… I think this place would have drowned me in misery a while back… and then I really would become something I’m not… something completely different from how I used to be…” Pinkie tilted her head slightly. “You help me forget that I don’t belong… You fill what’s missing with something warm and good…” Pinkie took both of Dan’s hands and looked into his emerald eyes with fondness as water pooled beneath her sky-blue irises. “You keep me me.”
Dan smiled as Pinkie leaned down and quickly raised her arms, wrapping them behind his neck. She pressed her lips against his and felt the warm, comforting feeling of joy spread through her body once more.
It seems like Jean is talking to herself over here.
I'm guessing it's "glowing" there.
Should be Jennifer there
Should it really be Pinkie there? or does she mean that she wants to see them togheter more often?
And lastly, Dan* is a Werewolf and he wants to eat Dan or something like that, right?
GO DAN PINKIE AND DENNIS (HOPEFULLY DENNIS)
4335404
Corrections made! Thanks!
Somehow my brain gets a bit confused with all these extra characters.
The later. This is sort of a case of shipper on deck.
Maaaaaybe~...
A mixture of seriousness and humor, another good chapter!
4335434
Well, here's another problem with all these extra characters for you:
Jennifer is the one with the gun, not Jean.
And you messed up Mr. Mumbles's name there.
Now then, I wonder if Amber is going to stay part of their group now. And if so, who will we get to ship her with?
Oddly enough, I remember the People's Republic of China being on the list. I feel as if that place needs to be hit by the dynamic dou.
4335553
Whoops! Fixed these as well! Thank you!
Awesome chapter!
Ooh, Rage Pinkie. That's new. Wonder how you're gonna use that later.
This. Was an awesome chapter.
Keep up the good work!
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When I read that part, I got goosebumps. The kind you get when you're really excited. Or when you get to see your role model in action.
It was the latter for me, not the former.
It appears that Dan* has finally let go of his obsession, either that or his inhibitions disappear and his inner beast kicks in at a full moon due to werewolf problems.
The straight haired/maned Pinkie and the red aura covered Dan. United they stand, divided they'll rip apart all those that separates them.
4335595
I'm not sure that was rage, really. It may be more an indication of how broken living in Danverse LA is twisting her. Her normal anger burns hot and fast. That was the urge to annihilate something as an annoyance.
4336324
4335434
Am I the only on who thought the combination of mysterous pronouncement and the whole of LA going into a communications blackout might be connected? Eldridge powers are at play people! There is no guarantee that that was Dan*, or that if it is he's not working for TOK of Dan's demonic ex-boss. Although I agree the knife and fork were peculiar as far as omens go, even if someone if trying to eat you.
Awwwww the feels
So much love for that movie.
FINALLY! I knew it was only a matter of time, and I also figured that when it did happen it wouldn't be funny...
4336338
He ate with a plastic knife and fork during the pie challenge he issued on Dan. He also said that he has a nose for Dan's antics which could be because of experience or because he was attacked by a werewolf. As for blackouts, Dan's world is very notorious when it comes to mayhem, accidents and fiery explosions with little to no reason. He could be Dan* and the utensils might be symbolic of the act that freed him from the obsession or he could be a werewolf out for blood and just gave Dan a heads up. I guess we'll never know til' all the cards are laid out.
I've also thought that maybe some Eldritch abomination might be causing more mayhem than usual but maybe it's just the world itself plus Dan and Pinkie's influence. TOK are planning to attack Equestria since they can't track down Pinkie because of Dan so that's out. If there is an Eldritch abomination or if the boss from hell came back though then I'd like to see Dan and Pinkie beat it up.
Folks asking about blackouts and electronics failures… remember how in one of the chapters in this arc Dan said that Pinkie’s scream wasn’t just god‐awful noise that nobody could handle but actually fried electronics?
still fantastic man
Jeans eyes went
Possessive, Jean's (Pretty sure anyway)
to shot me?”
Shoot (While is happened in the past, and shot makes sense, he 'was going to shoot'. No, it doesn't really make sense.)
for round, two.
Don't need that comma there.
Chris rubbed the back of his head. “Uh… Elise really likes having her tail brushed.” Oh my.
Great chapter, although I was late for the initial cleanup. Oh well.
A few interesting threads come up, and here's hoping we see where they go.
Also, the gang's all here! ...And.. Amber is still along for the ride?
**WARNING**
New Challenger Approaching
Amber
A social worker with a social justice vendetta, an anger management agent with anger issues, and no stranger to vengeance runs, Amber ran afoul of Dan when she tried to turn his penchant for violence into her own agenda. But now she's given him a hand during a time of pain and suffering. New Friend? Hidden Foe? Or just a convenient meat shield?
Rating:
Violence: ***
Intelligence: ****
Endurance: ****
Friendship: **
...Hm. That system may need to be refined. Dan has really high Endurance and Violence, and Pinkie has really high Violence and Friendship, but what about Dave? What do Ninjas have?
Pinkie needs 150ccs of hugs
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Got these corrects in! Thank you!
4337843 Happy to help. May be a bit before I start reading the next part of the story, though. I'm earmarking most of my time this week for Netflix and gaming, to kind of make headway against my backlog...
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Hey no worries! Reading this all the way through forsaking sleep and eating isn't for everyone.
Hopefully I can find some time to go over the next few chapters and catch a few errors and fix up my atrocious early writing attribution errors before you continue.
I had written a comprehensibe and well tought comentary when i realised it was entirely in spanish (my mother tongue) so i ll just leave this.
Nice new pic, pinkie looks deranged....and that is good.
You couldve escaped from those at any time? No, only when it was funny.
RIP Eddie Valient (Bob Hoskins. Smee, Mario)
Dan used Focus Punch. It was Super Effective.
Bring the war to a juddering halt. Give a child a gas mask.
Hey, if Pinkies scream can kill an alien intersteallar spacecraft, Im sure she can blow a few ATMs.
What can Ninjas have? Anythng they want, usually before theyve taken it off you.
4335434 Lets go over the list...
Wolfman- Dan's boss.
Bearman- Chris
Pony- Pinkie
Cookie Man- Ninja Dave
Aliens- (already crash landed)
Main Antagonist that rarely shows up-
VoldemortTOK.Vampires- Dealt with.
Time warp- Done already.
Super powered Antagonist- Hot Sauce
Hmm... I can't think of anything else right now. Maybe Dan* is now Dan's 'guardian' or 'guide'?
4341858 Who needs weaknesses? They have Steak, Beer, 'n Shotguns.
4337948 Another wonderful chapter. Can't wait to see what havoc Agent Dan* will cause in the future (does anyone else think he'll get Dan/TOK punching powers too?).
Will eagerly await what happens next.
The first thing that popped into my mind on seeing the chapter title.
Ok... that... that ending... That was really freaking dark there for a moment. And nightmareishly out of character for Pinkie. Even for Pinkamena. Rage Pinkie is a blazing sun of destruction. Pinkamena is a crazy slasher with a smile that even Joker would be impressed by. That... that was "I am going to end you because you have annoyed me with your impudence. You will be a lesson to any who dare do so again." Cold, unfeeling, and beyond mercy. In that moment, she could have killed everyone there, Dan included, and not felt a thing. It was an interesting look at what Pinkie might have become if not for Dan's intervention. I sincerely doubt she would have died in her encounter with the mugger/rapist she met on arrival, being a minor (maybe major) reality warper that she is. However, had Dan not been there when he was, I think we just saw what she would have become. Laughter would have died after suffering such horrors. Only thing remaining would be the urge for revenge. Humanity would have found its ultimate doom, at the former hooves of the once-pony.
I wonder if that is what she feels, what really eats at her deep down. Dan's world killed Harmony somehow. Everything that the Elements represent, it seems to have died in Dan's world, leaving only sick and twisted remains taunting at what could have been. As an embodiment of Harmony, The Element of Laughter can feel what is wrong, and its eating away at her, mind and soul. Sure some bits seem to remain, there is always some light left after all. But in the grand scheme, Dan's world is by no means a good place. The few 'good' people prove this more than anything. The Couples? By all standards fairly normal, decent people. But look what they easily became? The very thing they were trying to 'save' Pinkie from. Dan*? All in all he is more screwed up than Dan is. Dan* likes to pose as others and ruin them, all to prove that he is better than they are. That his way is superior. And when it fails, he becomes even more obsessed and determined to ruin his chosen target. And lets not get started on Elise's parents. All of the 'good' in their world is nothing more than a sham, a smokescreen hiding the fact that it's a living hell and the people there are no better. The truly pathetic and terrifying thing is that while Dan & Co are rather sick and twisted people, they actually embody several of the Elements, and are probably among the closest thing their world gets to decent people. Even more impressive is that the longer they are around Pinkie, they seem to be improving, if only slightly.
This is what is killing Pinkie. She knows what the world is, understands what is wrong, but can do nothing about it. Perhaps that is why she 'adjusted' so quickly. Like an agent in deepcover, she is trying to get by, fit in as best as she can, and praying that when it is all over there is still something left of her. Her 'craziness' is nothing more than a mask. A shield to protect her, and to hide the pain. From others as well as herself. You can see it in the brief moments when she realizes that something is terribly wrong, that she is doing something or accepting something she never would have before, but can do nothing but trudge on anyway.... Praying that it will be over soon enough...
Laughter is dying by inches. Her love for Dan both fuels this (Dan drives her further into the violence and chaos) and at the same time helps to keep her from losing herself utterly. (Unhealthy as their relationship is, they both truly love each other, and also help to balance the other out, keeping them from going too far, sometimes.) I am reminded of the Pen & Paper game, Aberrant, and its Taint mechanics. The more Permanent Taint you got, the more inhuman, and insane, you became. At 10 Perm Taint, you were an insane monster, and could no longer play that character. It was nothing but a deranged beast. (Or worse) The only known way to stop it, was by using Chrysalis. It could lower your Perm Taint, but it did NOT undo the damage already done, and still turned you into an inhuman monster. Staving off the madness by trading away your humanity. As an added twist of the knife, the only way to get Chrysalis was to do the very things that give you Taint... Thus, I conjecture, that Dan is the same to Pinkie. He is one of the only things (probably the most important one too) that helps keep her from becoming lost, and at the same time part of the very thing that is consuming her. Damned if she does, damned if she doesn't. And if by some miracle a way for her to return is found, and TOK are beaten, what then? Give up Dan & Co, losing her true love? Or bring them with her, and possibly bring the thing that is slowly eating away at her very soul? The only other possibility is to remain in their world, and trade away bits of who she was to save what remains. Nobody can say how long she can keep that up, only that it can't be done indefinitely. She ran right up to the line at the end of 107, had that boy not been there, right in that moment, she would have skipped across it and spiraled all the way down into the nightmare...
4351611 Are you sure that Dan wouldn't be able to at least hold his own against that kind of Pinkie? You got to remember that Dan is also a reality warper( at least to a certain extent) seeing as he can channel his rage into raw distructive power, I mean granted he probably wouldn't want to hurt the one he loves anymore than some small cuts and bruises. Other than that everything you say you seems pretty sound and well just completely dark just as the rest of the world really is.
Aw man, I was kinda hoping the "Are you gonna hurt my mommy?" line was coming from Dennis. Would have been nice.
4365001
Dennis isn't that emotionally attached to the Goodhills, sadly.
Also, I figured I needed to do something with Kale. I had mentioned him a few times but hadn't used him yet.
4357089 The thing is, Dan doesn't go for the kill. Maim, humiliate, even torture. But he doesn't just go full on ruthless and kill. Monsters are the only exception, (TOK count as monsters IMO, Dan doesn't see them as people) and usually its only to save Pinkie. What Pinkie was there, that was utterly without mercy or reason. She would kill Dan, not fight him. And Dan hasn't show the ability to just end his target's life without regard for who or what it is. Its part of what separates a hardened, cynical warrior, (Which Dan qualifies as) and a remorseless assassin. The former may have more experience and training, ready to battle any foe, but the latter doesn't even think to fight the target, only how quickest to kill them and move on...
I love that movie so much.
Thats like a homestuck meme I saw... Probably from a movie to... Oh well.
Wow. The Feels Cannon strikes again. Right in the feels dude. Right in the feels.
Thank you for that ending. I like this story a lot but pinkie is just a bit to actually insane (like demented insane not random insane) and it bothered me. However your ending of this chapter did a great job of explaining this.
Jean reached up and pulled of her glasses
but you just reminded me that Iloath you
“In a phone book, even!” \Chris added
1. Off.
2. Forgot your spacing between your I and Loathe. You also misseplt it just in case you missed it.
3. Extra back slash.
The pain, the oh so heart wrenching pain that was Pinkie. It hurts so much that what Zane Wolf speaks true. I can't find a better way to describe it or even at all. I just... need a moment, take a break perhaps...
Is it bad that I was kind of hoping that Pinkie would bake them all into cupcakes? I already can't stand idiots who think their way of life is better or who try to force people to change their lifestyles, but these idiotic FUCK-UPS just make me want to invent a device that allows me to travel into fanfiction JUST so I can beat the shit out of them.
4683837 nope!
Dan* scene as a Matrix Reloaded referente, anyone?
Jean has no idea how lucky she is to be alive right now. Also, I wish the Goodhills and those other two idiots would die in a fire. They're terrible excuses for human beings. And given what the REST of humanity is like in the Danverse, that's really saying something.
Jean just experienced something I wouldn't wish on anyone...
That was terrifying
4683837 *Alondro makes it his sole purpose in life to change your way of life, because trollin'!*
4804132 Meh. I'd give Pinkie a 6 outa 10 for that performance.
Seriously, you want creepy? Check Team Four Star's interpretation of Cell as he sucks that radio guy through his needle. I'd give that a solid 8.5
5155275 *starts jammin to Video killed the radio star.*
5155275
Iknowright?
Seriously, there Cell is perfectly chilling.
Damn, that got REAL intense around the end there.
Ok no offence but I am just going to leave the story here. Unfave. But I left you a like. It was a nice story but the impossibilities just kept pileing up to the point of annoyance the story has no clear direction either I thought that they wanted Pinkie back in Equestria they have had almost 100 chapters at this point to do so.
Again sorry not my type of story. I stuck with it this long because it was funny now it is getting old.