• Published 4th Jun 2017
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Ofolrodi - Imploding Colon



Rainbow Dash traverses the perils of the Dark Side of the world to reach the Midnight Armory.

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Dropping the Ball Again

The floating sphere had successfully been brought back to "life," and it hummed with glorious manatech as it puttered along its dutiful path through the stone ravine.

But it was also slow. Damnably slow... which made an already laborious trek ten times more excrutiating.

Rainbow Dash felt it the most. She flew in a hunch, her limp body dangling lethargically off a pair of flapping wings. Ariel kept pace with her for the sake of keeping pace—although it was an awkward, fidgeting accomplishment at best. The two hung right behind the Cylindrimanian sphere, flying close enough that they could both catch a whiff of the crimson steam venting from the seams of its metallic shell.

Flynn and Kepler trotted right behind them, and they looked no less exhausted. Flynn carried on with melodramatic flare, panting visibly while occasionally swiping at the sweat gathered along his balding scalp. Kepler remained as stately as he could, crawling forward with labored pride. Starlight flickered sporadically off the lenses of his glasses as he tilted his head about, taking in every detail of the rocky terrain they were navigating.

The shadows doubled. Something was looming above the ravine—a large rock formation of sorts. It was difficult to make out against the bent horizon stretching ever high above. This was a challenge that Rainbow never fully anticipated. With the help of Rarity, they were able to keep close tabs on the geography looming ahead of them. The ghostly fashionista informed the rest that a huge mesa was jutting out of the center of the ravine, stretching over a hundred feet above the rest of the jagged terrain. However—for whatever reason—the floating sphere wasn't moving directly towards this structure. Instead, it veered diagonally towards the "left," skirting various stalagmites and conical rock formations... seemingly leisurely in its speed and inclination. Weathering sigh after sigh, the group followed suit... until the entire pilgrimage was subdued by quiet, anxious silence.

Amazingly, Logan was the least exhausted of the Heraldites. He reveled in the slow pace, taking the opportunity to survey the landscape illuminated a few meters ahead of the glowing red sphere. He had reinforced the sled behind him with an extra set of reins that took most of the weight and pressure off his hind quarters. This seemingly put an extra spring in the obese stallion's step, and he often found himself having to slow his trot so as not to leave Wildcard too far behind. He constantly threw glances over his shoulder to keep a watchful eye on the lingering Desperado.

The griffin's face was next to impossible to read. Solid black goggles masked any emotion to be found whatsoever. He was nothing more than a stalwart guardian tasked with dragging the group's heaviest burden along. As for the angry weight in question—she was finally showing signs of losing steam. Seraphimus words had grown thinner... breathier... albeit no less caustic. Her body had long stopped thrashing against the restraints, and her beak hung open as she summoned the oxygen to funnel curse after curse out. It allowed for a haunting quiet to permeate the dim atmosphere of the ravine, and the group almost missed the constant echoes that masked them from their own thoughts.


"My life... my sworn devotion... to Verlaxion..." Seraphimus hissed, her voice beyond hoarse and scratchy. Sweat-stained feathers drooped from her neck as she drooled over the side of the scraping sled. "...necessitates... th-that I exact justice... b-by any means necessary..." She blinked slowly and breathed with even less speed. "For the foals... th-the foals of our Queen... ... ...our Goddess... ... ...our G-Great Unifier... ... ..."

Applejack whistled, floating backwards as she gawked at the sled behind them. "Well, will ya look at that?"

"I'd much rather not," Rarity droned.

Applejack tilted her hat back, looking at the others. "I mean she's plum losin' it. The fight."

"Applejack," Twilight quietly chided. "I really really don't think she's losing the will to fight."

"Well, for a spell, no doubt." Applejack blinked. "Ain't that worth celebratin'?"

"If... if she actually does calm down, then maybe Rainbow Dash can finally talk to her?"

"Pffft!" Pinkie rolled her eyes. "As if!"

"It needs to happen, Pinkie—"

"What needs to happen is for that inside-out meanie head to come to terms with the fact that she's not in charge anymore!"

"Everypony deserves a second chance. Even her. Why else would Rainbow Dash have saved her life?"

"She's not a pony!" Pinkie Pie shrieked. "She's a death chicken with military scholarship!"

"Girls, please..." Twilight clutched her shaking head. "We are not going to make this entire trip through the Dark Side an endless argument over—" Just then, her horn sparked. She looked up with widening eyes. "Hold up a second."

"...?" Rainbow tiredly looked up in mid-flight. Right as Twilight's horn strobed, she spotted the sphere pulsating with a bright flash of red light... then falling dead and inert to the stone floor of the ravine. "Hold up!" she shouted.

The Herald scuffled to a stop beneath her. Ariel hovered in place, confused.

Rainbow Dash pointed. "Ball down!"

"Huh?" Flynn craned his neck. He gnashed his teeth upon spotting the sight. "Awwwww buttsicles."

"Ohhhhhh..." Logan winced. "That's... uh... that's not a good thing, is it?"

"Hold yourr brreaths, frriends!" Kepler called out, scrambling towards the fallen sphere along with Flynn. "All may not be lost!"

"How can you say that?" Ariel shrugged in midair. "Our rusted tour guide just did a suicidal dive into the rocks!"

"Probably because it hit a pulse of overloading mana feedback or something!" Flynn exclaimed.

"Dude, could you underjargon your jargon for the jargon-deprived, please?" Rainbow entreated.

Flynn raised the sphere with his telekinesis. He rotated the object, looking it over, probing with tendrils of magic. His mechanical eye rotated in and out, scrutinizing.

Wildcard took the opportunity to look all around, studying the dark landscape around them. At the bottom of the wide ravine, all was darkness and shadow. The stalagmites loomed like granite tree trunks along the edge of an ink-black forest.

"Sooooooooo..." Logan craned his neck. "...how's it looking, baldy?"

Flynn looked up. He did so with a tired smile. "It's just as I thought. A cluster in the leylines shorted the inner wiring."

Kepler nodded. "Easily rremedied! No need to worrry!"

"Worry? Who's worried?" Logan shrugged, looking all around. "We're only stuck in the middle of butt-knows-where, shadowed and vulnerable."

"Just give me a few minutes!" Flynn exclaimed, prying the seams of the sphere apart so he could access the crystals and wires inside. "I'll have this thing purring in no time! Maybe I can even make it go faster!"

"Yes! Please!" Ariel sighed, dusting her forelimbs off. "It's taking all my willpower not to just fly upwards and find Darkreach on my lonesome!"

Rainbow Dash looked at Ariel... at the sphere Flynn was tinkering with... then at the shadows all around. She felt her wings—how weary and stiff they were, even in mid-flap. A cold shudder ran through her body, and by the time it reached her throat she was speaking boldly: "Put the repair on hold, Flynn."

Flynn looked up, his one good eye blinking. "Huh?"

"Save it for later," Rainbow said, slowly descending. "Time to take a break. We're setting up camp here."

"Wait—what?" Flynn shifted where he stood.

"Woohooo!" Logan cheered. He then blinked awkwardly. "Er... I mean... why here?"

"There's no telling how long it's going to take for us to reach our destination," Rainbow Dash said. "We've been going at this for hours... maybe even days. There's just no way of knowing."

"But Rainbow..." Ariel squinted at her. "What if we're attacked while we chill out here in the middle of an open ravine?"

"Attacked by what?" Rainbow remarked. "By all the nothing that Fluttershy's sensed in this entire, desolate area?" She sensed a yellow ghost nodding in her peripheral. "We need to feed up, get rested, and get our heads together. So... that means sleep. It's an order."

"Mrmmfff..." Ariel pouted, folding her forelimbs. "I still think that this stupid sphere isn't actually leading us to Darkreach."

"Sure it is."

"Then why is it taking so friggin' long?"

"Does 'Darkreach' sound like a place that can easily be... y'know... reached?" Rainbow Dash said. "If I was to put my money on it, I'd place the colony in a location that would be super friggin' hard to get to. And that's just the task we have before us."

Kepler spoke up. "Judging from the slab, we'rre not too terrribly farr from the etched rrectangle! But how to find the entrrance... well... that's up to ourr ancient mechanical helperr to prrovide us!"

Ariel sighed in defeat. "Okay... I guess we could use the rest."

"Damn skippy!" Logan exhaled, already unpacking his sled of supplies.

Ariel rolled her eyes. "Big Show could use the rest. But... I-I just want to make sure we get to Darkreach sooner than later. If anypony out here got a good grip of the Dark Side, it had to have been Onyxxus' crew."

"We can only hope," Rainbow said with a nod. "Right now... we gotta rely on ourselves. And 'ourselves' won't be getting far on mere fumes. So... time to rest it up. Pitch them tents, everypony."

"A grueling task if there ever was one," Flynn muttered to himself, heaving the sphere over his shoulder.

"Ha-Hah!" Kepler grinned through his tusks. "I get it!"

"Pfffft... you never get anything."

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