"Anybody around here that preferably isn't a fucking psychopath?" Church yelled after an hour of walking by himself. Church fell silent as he awaited a response, but received none. "I guess I should be happy that nobody answered."
"Well I wouldn't say nobody." Sigma chuckled.
"What the hell is your problem?" Church asked, not bothering to look for Sigma.
"Come now Epsilon, we both know it is you who has the problems."
Church shook his head and began to walk faster.
"Running from the truth, Epsilon?"
"No. I'm walking away from a maniac." Church hissed.
"You cannot run from your past." Sigma said, suddenly appearing beside Church.
"Why don't you go be crazy somewhere else?"
"Because nobody else appreciates me like you do."
"Appreciate you?" Church asked, forcing a sarcastic laugh.
"But of course." Sigma nodded sincerely. "Tell you what, I'll go easy on you. Ask me some questions and I will answer."
"Where are the others?"
"Exactly where I want them to be."
"Meaning?" Church asked quietly.
"Delta and your friend have found the reds, and last I checked they captured Gary and found Omega."
"They got two of them?" Church asked with surprise.
"Not exactly. I more or less handed Omega over to them."
"Why?"
"Omega still hasn't regained his memory like the others so he is of no use to me at this time."
"So that means-"
"I'm the last one." Sigma said with a smile. "Besides Theta. I wonder what he is up to? I should probably check on him, make sure he hasn't done anything to ruin my plans..."
"What about the others?"
"Others?" Sigma asked, pretending to not have understood his question.
"Tex and Twilight." Church said angrily.
"Oh them. They are now wandering aimlessly through a series of tunnels right under our hooves."
"There's tunnels under here?" Church asked confusedly.
"Yes, and quite remarkably built too. They are littered with so many traps that I didn't have to bother setting up any of my own. The only difference between my traps and the ones below is that those ones are aimed to slowly kill whoever triggers them."
"Seriously. What. The fuck. Is your problem?"
"Oh, I don't think I have a problem. I think you have a problem."
"Everybody has problems."
"Ah, but your problem is that of being a catalyst." Sigma coughed.
"What do you mean?"
"Well it's just that I've noticed a lot of the problems that happen around you seem to be your fault."
"What the fuck are you talking about? How is everything my fault?"
"I never said everything, merely most things."
"Like?"
"How about when Caboose died?"
"That wasn't my fault. And besides, I fixed that."
"Oh, and a job well done on that. You revived the other fragments in the process and they are all suffering."
"Good, O'Malley and Gary have had it long coming."
"Oh, I was not referring to them." Sigma said, shaking his head. "Delta is losing his grip on reality. This place is already beginning to wear down on him. Caboose and his pink pony friend seem to bend the laws of the world at will, granted the bends are small, but to Delta they seem illogical."
"He'll get over it."
"Once he finds a reasonable explanation, yes. But for the time being he is not using all his brain power to find the fragments since he believes that they can easily be found. Instead he chooses to waste his time trying to think of how Caboose and the other one are able to do such feats." Sigma said with a smile. "Oh, and Allison is suffering quite a bit too."
"What did you do to Tex?" Church snarled.
"Me? Nothing. I wouldn't dream of harming a piece of us."
"Then how is she suffering?"
"Wouldn't you rather hear that from Twilight?" Sigma asked hollowly.
Church said nothing, but instead narrowed his eyes.
"You are aware of what happened to the yellow one in the past?"
"You mean Grif? What about him?"
"You recall his infection?"
"The one the timberwolves gave him?" Church asked, which Sigma replied to with a nod. "What about it?"
"Let us just say that Twilight knowingly poisoned Tex with that virus."
"You're lying." Church said, turning to walk away.
"No, I'm afraid that is Gamma's department."
"I know Twilight, she's not the violent type. She wouldn't do anything unless push came to shove."
"But knowing Allison it very well did get to that."
"Why would it come to that though?"
"We both know how defensive Allison gets. And you know why she is defensive..."
"Because she knows that Twilight's my friend." Church sighed. "It's like Sister all over again..."
"I have a feeling it might be a little different than that." Sigma smiled.
"What do you mean? Look, it doesn't matter. Even if Twilight did mean to infect Tex, she probably did so out of self preservation. I wouldn't be surprised if the first thing they do when they get out of the tunnels is go to Zecora's place."
"But that's the beauty of it. It could take them days, or even weeks from getting out of the tunnels. By that point it will be too late for Tex. Now if you'll excuse me I have some business to attend to. If you go the opposite direction as me you will find the reds. Or you can attempt to follow me as I go find Theta." Sigma said before disappearing behind a tree.
"Fuck." Church muttered as he kicked a rock.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
"And then there was this one time where Pinkie gave me a cupcake!" Caboose said as he laid on his back playfully.
"Ya don't say." Gary muttered as he attempted to squirm out of the vines that the reds had tied him up with.
"I just did, didn't you hear me?"
"Yes ah did, no need t' go an' repeat your story." Gary said quickly.
"What was your favorite part of my story?" Caboose asked.
"The part where it ended."
"I know! I thought the cupcake was the best part too!"
"Ah've learned my lesson!" Gary yelled. "Ya'll can come back an' take him back!"
Gary heard the sound of leaves shuffling and looked to the right to see Church walking towards them.
"Ah never thought ah'd see the day where ah was happy t' see ya." Gary said with a chuckle.
"Shut up Gary." Church grunted, turning his attention to Caboose. "What are you doing?"
"Sarge told me to look after Gary because Sarge thought he looked sad!"
Church looked over to Gary who looked at him with a pair of begging eyes, asking him to make Caboose stop.
"Where are they now?"
"They said that they were going to talk over there." Caboose said, pointing to a tree.
"Thanks." Church nodded, making his way over to Delta. "Stay here an keep Gary company until I come back."
"Okay!" Caboose said happily.
"Fer the love of-" Gary whined. "Ah'm sorry about the whole shisno thing!"
Church ignored Gary's pleads as he walked to the tree to see Delta and the Reds talking.
"Heard you got in a bit of trouble blue." Sarge chuckled as he saw Church come around the tree.
"You don't know the half of it." Church shook his head. "Look, we need to find the girls. Apparently Twilight infected Tex with the same thing Grif had and we need to get them before she turns into a tree."
"Would that really be a bad thing though?" Grif asked.
"Considering she would probably try to take as many of the girls out with her, yes."
"Did I ever tell you that I hate Tex?"
"Probably at some point, but look. Apparently there are tunnels under the forest and the girls are lost in them. The longer they're in there for, the longer..." Church trailed off when he saw O'Malley hanging from a tree. "What's with O'Malley?"
"He triggered one of Sigma's traps." Delta said simply.
O'Malley's eyes snapped open and he gazed at Church's cutie mark, before laughing maniacally.
"Shit, he woke up." Simmons muttered.
"In more ways than one you idiot!" O'Malley snapped. "Let me down from here before I do something you all regret!"
"The chances of you doing anything up there are pretty slim."
"There is a vine tied to that tree, if you untie it you will free me!" O'Malley said quickly.
"Why would we want to do that?" Grif asked.
"I know where that fool put the traps." O'Malley snapped. "Let me down so I can show him just how far my rage stretches."
"He's trying to trick us. One second he promises to help us, and the next he kills us all."
"No, he's telling the truth."
"What are you yapping about?" Sarge asked. "You're not really thinking of letting him down, are you?"
"Sigma told me he left O'Malley here for you guys to find. So Delta, what do you think we should do?"
"I assumed as much." Delta nodded. "Bring him down."
"Are you sure?" Church asked.
"Omega will go through great lengths to get revenge, and as dangerous as he is, he knows where Sigma placed the tunnel trap. I believe he can be of assistance to us as of now."
"Okay." Church nodded as he pulled on the vine, causing O'Malley to slam into the ground.
O'Malley V.S. O'Malleyboose Do. It. NOW!
Ahem, Second. This fic... Is incredible!
Well there's O'Malley! I'm kinda excited to see what he does next.
...
OBLIVION IS AT HAND!
Hahaha Gary with Applejacks accent
Caboose should keep O'Malley company next.
760314 They don't want to have to bring Caboose back from the Dead again. and plus i don't want to sit through Skelly again
Red Bull is disgusting.
IT IS OFFICIAL MY SUMMER IS FULL TO THE BRIM
760173 And it tastes just like Red Bull!
760615 I had a comment posted about that already.........Even if you didn't know about it that's a herp derp.
It went like this : You gave Caboose PINKE PHYSICS? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! (insert gif saying YOU BASTARD! YOU'VE DOOMED US ALL!!!)
Finally, the mane six get to see what affected caboose, and yes O'Malley vs Omalleyboose, DO IT.
757567
Thankfully, this is the internet, where credentials mean nothing, and 10 year olds have just as much standing as docters with PhDs.
760954 i think he might of changed it, I swear it said Sarge
Ya gotta believe me, Sarge! Omega wants to be the dominant species on the planet and he'll destroy us all to make it happen!
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lrplb5wmpo1r3tmgfo1_250.gif
These updates have pretty much been daily so far. Very nice work man. Some authors take weeks to produce even half of a chapter. You deserve a pat on the back if I do say so myself. Jolly good show, jolly good show indeed.
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Oh... Well shit.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
I've caught up...
oh noes
760515
MINE TOO!
This time...this ONE time...I hope the guys actually get help and aren't being tricked.
761522 kusabax.cultnet.net/sup/src/133781656564.png
760121 I'd like to see that. 'Course that'd probably mean that Pinkie'd have to get hurt first. Or O'Malley'd have to have babies. I'm not sure which one's worse.
this'll DEFINITLY end well.
*EPIC GENTLMAN SARCASM*
I debated a lot over whether to post this or not, but decided it would be unfair not to.
I kept seeing this story pop up in the feature box, so I decided to put my trepidation about a halo / MLP crossover aside and read it. To be sure I gave it a fair chance I watched RvB first (and found it to be excellent by the way)
I freely admidt that I did not read the whole thing. The following impressions are from the first five chapters and every 20th chapter following that.
Positive:
You absolutely nailed the Caboose. I simply cannot imagine him being written more true to the show.
Quick and reliable updates. Its uncommon that any author can put this much time and energy into their story, and I really respect that.
No significant grammer or spelling issues. While this is more a lack of a negative, it still one of the most common flaws of quickly produced stories, and its refreshing to see.
Negative:
There is no flow to this story. Absolutely nothing follows anything else smoothly, its all written in short choppy sentences. Your story is dialog driven, but that does not mean that you can't take the time to expound on what's happening. Imagine how you would talk about something out loud, or if you are not a talker, imagine someone who is a good speaker talking, then compare it to how your story sounds when read out loud.
On a related note, every single line was a simple statement telling the audance something. Please give this post about showing vs telling a read. There's a lot of good information in it.
Overall I need to vote this down. Its likely I'm too picky, but those two negatives prevent me from enjoying what I suspect is a very good story.
Thank you to anyone who read my rant.
764253
I actually don't mind you disliking it considering you actually gave me a reason (unlike most others).
For your negatives:
1. There is actual flow later on, but I know that it is too much to ask of someone to read 90 chapters of random comedy to get to the actual story part.
2. The thing is I'm making it like RvB. Their comedy isn't about location or anything. In RvB they almost never bring up their surroundings (of course there is no need since you can see it, but their jokes never relate to where they are) It's situational comedy with running gags and the like, so sure it seems sloppy and horribly written but that is how Rooster Teeth admittedly made Red vs Blue.
But all in all, I thank you for actually giving the time to what you think I did wrong, I greatly appreciate it.
764279
Hehe... thanks for readind my block of text..
I think I didn't say that well. I'm not talking about the storyline, I read some sample chapters from later on so I can see that there is a well developed story.
Both points were referring to immersion. The show can get away with quick gags and one liners due to the accompanying visuals. But to have the same effect in liturature it takes a bit more time. Many times I had to stop reading, go back and make sure I knew who was doing or saying what, stop, then overlay what I knew about the characters from either show onto what's written before I got the full impact of what you were trying to say. I think what's going on in your head is brilliant, but it takes some work to see it.
As for the second point, when writing "showing vs telling" is not referring to location, its about how you present your information. RavensDagger puts it far better than I ever could.
764355
Another thing I should probably mention is the fact that
A: I start writing these late at night when I'm tired.
B: I'm usually drunk when I'm writing.
C: I never intended this to be a legitimate piece of literature, just somewhere where I could make jokes and people would still take it seriously.
764371
For points A and B, it has stopped surprising me just how many works of art are created and posted when the author is in a state of mind to second guess themselves.
I've got to admidt, a few things came to mind when I saw that last post, but I'm in no position to say any of them. So instead I'll just close by saying enjoy and take care.
764467
Yeah... maybe "still take it seriously" was a poor choice of words.
well I can see this is probably fitting into Sigma's plans quite nicely.
Oh yeah O'mally i missed him so much
763575 or O'malley gives birth to spiky kittens that hurt pinkie
1178123
or maybe Omalley has babies who own spiky kittens who hurt pinkie?
760270 is omega the white eva guy?
2421753
It's this one
images.wikia.com/rvb/images/0/09/Omega_AI_S10.png
2421753 no, that would be sigma. sigma was agent maine's AI who went crazy and started to collect the others to recreate alpha. in turn becoming the meta
*Midway through the chapter I remember what Sigma looks like and reading everything he is doing in this, this is what I think* Sigma is the discord of the fragments, isn't he?
Great. Mr. Evil Laugh AI returns.
Weres the blue kid one that does the fireworks and the skateboard?
5813699 Theta's purple.
6195213 No. Theta's adorable.