"So which of these plebeians will I go after first?" O'Malley asked as he examined the records of all unpaid taxes.
"The choice is one hundred percent yours." Gary said happily, glad to have brought O'Malley closer to his side.
"I feel like a child at a candy store!" O'Malley said gleefully, clutching the sheet to his chest. "Except instead of a kid it's a violent sociopath. And instead of a candy store it's a list of victims!"
"Indeed."
"I will use this list and I will find each and every one of them. Each one of them will know my name, but none will tell anybody else about me lest they feel my wrath."
"Uh-huh." Gary said slowly.
"I will be a sight to behold!" O'Malley vowed with determination. "The town will tremble and quake with the mere mention of taxes."
"I get it." Gary said, growing impatient.
"And then I will-"
"Omega, please." Gary coughed, pointing to the door.
"Very well." O'Malley coughed innocently, then began walking towards the door. He opened the door quietly and wlked outside, taking a deep breath. "I will be back after I've visited a few of them. Don't want to exhaust my supply of punching bags in one day."
"As long as you bring in one payment I don't care what you do." Gary smiled. "Just as long you enjoy doing it."
"And I will." O'Malley boomed. "Next time you see me I will be-"
Gary rolled his eyes and slammed the door shut, and the sound of the door closing silenced O'Malley. O'Malley let out a low curse, but brightened up when he read the sheet over. Once he had picked his target he put the paper back in his bag, and while he was doing so he grabbed the map and checked where they were. Once he had that settled, he placed the map in his bag and readjusted his sunglasses so they sat perfectly over his eyes, then he set off towards the upper market district. O'Malley skipped along pleasantly, happy to be doing something that involves threatening. Once he arrived at the market district he began looking at the signs above each shop, looking for the one on the map.
"Omega, is that you?" Rainbow Dash asked from a few dozen meters above.
"Oh no." O'Malley moaned, then snapped towards the market district.
"Hey, get back here!" Rainbow Dash darted after him.
O'Malley took every turn he could, going down every alleyway, but Rainbow Dash was quickly catching up. He then caught sight of a familiar gray pegasus hiding behind a box, peering around a corner. O'Malley hollered and Derpy spun around, shocked.
"You're it!" O'Malley yelled, jumping over her, clipping her shoulder with his back hoof. "No touch backs."
"Darn it." Derpy said sadly, then instantly saw Rainbow Dash shooting down the alley towards her. "Hey Rainbow Dash!"
"Not now Derpy." Rainbow Dash said, flapping faster now. "I'm sort of in the middle of something."
Derpy tackled Rainbow Dash out of the air and began laughing, chanting that Rainbow Dash was now it. Rainbow Dash watched helplessly as O'Malley looked over his shoulder and laughed maniacally before turning around the corner. After a few minutes of waiting, O'Malley was satisfied that he had lost her and that she had given up. He picked his head up and began stalking around the market, remaining on guard just in case she appeared while he searched for the store. Soon he saw the store he had picked. The sign above it was an open book with a quill next to it. According to the sheet, the manager owes the city a hundred bits.
"Hm, now how should I do this?" O'Malley asked as he began walking towards the shop. "Should I open with threats? Or should I play good cop then suddenly-violent-and-evil cop?"
A loud noise came from behind him and he jumped straight up, thinking it was Rainbow Dash. He checked behind him and jumped next to the building, trying to get out of her sight. He looked up after a few seconds and glanced around edgily. Rainbow Dash was nowhere to be seen.
"Why am I paranoid?" O'Malley chuckled nervously. "That pegasus cannot harm me. I can topple trees for crying out loud. Heh. Crying. Hehehe. Out loud. Teehehehehaha. Murder. MuwahahahahahahAHAH-"
"Hey, are you alright?" A white unicorn with strange glasses asked concernedly.
"What do you care?" O'Malley huffed.
"I don't really, just wondering why you were laughing in an alley by yourself." She laughed. "Nice shades."
"Er, thank you." O'Malley said quietly, watching her cautiously as he pushed his glasses further up face.
"New to town?" She asked, and O'Malley nodded slowly. She smiled and extended a hoof. "Thought so. Name's Vinyl."
O'Malley's eyes shifted, recognizing the name to some degree. He then remembered she was Tex's friend.
"Listen, why don't you get out of this alley. I'm sure you wouldn't like that sorta rep around here." Vinyl chuckled.
"Very well." O'Malley nodded and walked out of the alley. "Now if you don't mind, I have business to attend to."
"No problem. I should get going anyways." Vinyl said, walking away, then stopped. "What'd you say your name was?"
"O'Malley."
"Huh. Cool name." Vinyl chuckled. "Catch you around O'Malley."
O'Malley nodded and watched as she walked away. When the coast was clear, he walked up to the door of the building and stalked up to the window and peered through. He instantly saw an old, light-blue stallion cleaning a large table with a rag. His cutie mark was a saw cutting through wood, and his mane and tail was ice blue and was short and messy.The stallion scrubbed one of the corners until it was shinning to his satisfaction.
"Ah, the classic entry it is." O'Malley grinned darkly, knocking on the door.
"Come in." The stallion chipped happily.
"Me?" O'Malley snarled as he kicked the door off it's hinges. "I'm your worst nigh- wait, you didn't ask who I am..."
"W-why did you kick down my-"
"Tell me your name, then ask me who I am!" O'Malley demanded.
"I'm Wood Cutter. Who a-are you?" The old horse grunted fearfully when he saw O'Malley's sunglasses and angry disposition.
"Pleasure to meet you Wood Cutter. I am your worst nightmare." O'Malley smiled, then let out a violent scream.
Wood Cutter watched as O'Malley continued his war cry while he began throwing chairs against the walls. O'Malley galloped up to the recently polished table and jumped over it. Then O'Malley dropped his body on the table, braking it in half.
"What are you doing?" Wood Cutter asked, now completely fearing for his life.
"What do you think I'm doing? You owe money and I'm collecting!" O'Malley snarled as he stomped on a wooden footrest, shattering it into a million tiny pieces. "For I am O'Malley, feller of trees, collector of taxes and now breaker of wooden obje-"
"M-my taxes are paid!" The old satllion whimpered, slowly backing up against the wall.
"They are?" O'Malley asked, taking off his glasses to show his eyes to the stallion. Once their eyes met O'Malley closed the gap between them. "Look me in the eyes and say that. And don't you lie to me!"
"I paid my taxes." He whimpered.
"That's not what this document says!" O'Malley snarled as he reached into his bag and threw the form at the stallion. "What do you have to say now, hm?"
"I'm n-not on here." The Stallion whispered with relief.
"Excuse me?" O'Malley asked.
"My name. I-it isn't on here, see?" The stallion asked, holding up the piece of paper.
"Hold on." O'Malley hissed, running through the doorway.
"Okay." The stallion nodded feebly.
O'Malley looked at the building to the left and saw a sign above the shop. It was the bookstore sign he saw earlier. He then looked above the one he was standing outside of and saw another sign, but this one was a log of wood with a saw halfway through it. He slowly walked back to the stallion and gently grabbed the piece of paper and put it back in his bag. The stallion flinched when O'Malley turned to him and opened his mouth.
"Tell nobody and I will grace you with full use of your legs." O'Malley nodded curtly as he put his glasses back on, then walked out without any other words.
1233501
It wasn't that she wanted Caboose dead, it was that she knew Celestia would be angry with Twi and didn't want to lose any more friends.
Wow O'Mally. Just, wow.
1233645
Look at it this way.
Wood cutter will never NOT pay his taxes ever again.
This is gonna be gud.
1233632 *munches carrot* What's up, Doc?
..........-face hooves so hard- ...........WELL that isn't a good way to start off now is it?!
I never ever expected this to ever come out...
1233649
Out of all the ideas O'Malley had in the past, this is
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Edit: Oh and btw, your update pushed mine off the box as fast as I put it out when it should of pushed out the oldest update. I get a feeling the code needs to be fixed again.
lol O'Malley you are funny dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Vinyl_Scratch.png
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_dealwithit.png
1233696
Sorry.
1233687
Expected what to come out?
1233672
Ehhh, what's up, Doc? What's cookin'?
What's up, Doc? Oh, you're lookin'
For Bugs Bunny bunting...
Elmer's gone a-hunting
Just to get a rabbit skin...
But now the rabbit's gone again!
What's up, Doc? What's cookin'?
Hey! Look out! Stop!
You're gonna hurt someone
With that old shotgun!
Ehhh, what's up, Doc?
As for Omega, if you are going to fail, fail with style.
And I thought I looked stupid when I caught my jacket on fire.
1233632
he got it from talking to you...
1233623Really u made him go after soe random person? Thats just plain mean to the shop owner
I miss the crazy fights like twilight fighting Tex and carolina fighting everyone.
1233696
... It wasn't even Omega's idea in the first place... it was Gamma's.
1233813
He didn't really go after some random pony, he just got mixed up about who he's supposed to rough up a little. It's his first day, give him a break. Or he'll give you several.
1233645
Dude. That's all a matter of perspective.
O'Malley is to the IRS, what Loan Sharks are to the Mob.
Meaning this guy just might be the best Tax Collector in the history of Ever....wait he got the wrong house?
I take back what I said. O'Malley, of all the fails you've acquired, this by far stands up there next to Possessing Doc
1233813
That's not mean. That's O'Malley!!
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/312/563/05d.jpg
you don't own the featured bar, you ARE the featured bar. i can honestly say
cool story bro, keep it coming
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1233878 yeah i guess your right. And im not all that scared of omega
1233891 yeah and your right too
1233749
Ok, WTF IS WITH THE NEW PROFILE PICTURE!
1234007
Alcohol Makes him Wiser....I'm not joking. He'll tell you the same thing
That pegasus cannot harm me. I can topple trees for crying out loud. Heh. Crying. Hehehe. Out loud. Teehehehehaha. Murder. MuwahahahahahahAHAH-
I lost it at murder. With spreading that line alone I think I got you three or four new readers :D
O shit! O'Mally just weaponized Derpy! O wait never mind you can't weaponize what already is, sorry.
It suppose to be know not no.
The problem could easily be solved by a the tax payer getting an 'I paid my taxes, please don't hurt me!' sticker whenever they pay their taxes. Each tax session can come in a different color.
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obscurecraft.net/obscureblog/images/i-called-it.jpg
1227567
but theta iota and upsilon are all rvb cannon and upsilon and theta are in this fic
And here I thought I couldn't be surprised by what happens in this chapter. Nice job.
1233632
what a Fail
1233632 Just be happy he Isn't controlling you, Medical Officer Super Private First Class! see what I did there doc? I used that rank you annoyed command into creating and subsequently giving you!
it old, predictable and with over-kill
PERFECT!!!
Ha. Classic.
wow Ask first O mally ask.
1233696 I say: Greatest. Possible. Thing.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lol, O'malley, your a dumbass. be glad i am enjoying your dunbassness, because otherwise you'd be on my trophy wall for your afronts to honor.
2865443 I can agree.
They should have let Tex, Theta, and Delta join. As for Sigma, O'Malley and Gary, they can sulk in Tartarus.
4758365 I agree with you. I don't like Gary. O'Malley is ok. Sigma... don't remember him much.
Well played good sir
Well played