Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
THE FOAL FREE PRESS
SPIKE THE DRAGON WINS DEFAMATION CASE AGAINST PRINCESS SPARKLE
A Ponyville jury has found Princess Twilight Sparkle guilty of defamation against Spike the Dragon in a groundbreaking case that has detailed the years of abuse the princess' assistant has endured at the hands of the Princess of Friendship.
"She took a dump on my bed while drunk and demanded I send the letter to Celestia," Spike testified as he detailed one particularly egregious example of domestic abuse.
Princess Sparkle, in a statement after the verdict was rendered, conceded that having Flim and Flam as her legal team might not have been the best of decisions.
"Twilight did say she wanted to eliminate all Earth Ponies-"
"Hearsay!"
"That was part of her testimony yesterday."
"Hearsay!"
"...Overruled."
Equally puzzling seemed to be Spike's choice of legal representation.
"I'm not a lawyer, but I played one during a tour in Las Pegasus," commented the dragon's lawyer Trixie Lulamoon.
Twilight's legal fees and compensation to Spike is quite expensive, numbering in the millions of bits, in addition to her fledgling acting career likely to never recover. Her latest appearance in the upcoming Aquamare 2 is already rumored to be heavily downplayed, if not cut out entirely following these revelations.
Special thanks to Kaidan for helping me whip this one up in fifteen minutes.
This verdict should be a huge symbolic victory to all men who have been in abusive relationships and were ignored or not believed purely because of their gender.
I hope the Pirates and Fantastic Beasts franchises never recover because those studios decided to side with rumors and hearsay before the truth came out.
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All I can say is...
Ding-dong! The Teard is done
Which old Teard? The Wicked Teard!
Ding-dong! The Wicked Teard is done
Wake up you sleepy head, rub your eyes, enjoy the shining sun
Wake up, the Wicked Teard is done
She's gone where the molesters go
Below, below, below
Yo-ho, let's open up and sing and ring the bells out
Ding-dong's the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low
Let them know the Wicked Teard is done!
Is it bad that I actually really liked the new Grindelwald though?
11259188
Not at all. I haven't even seen it and I know that Mads Mikkelsen is a terrific actor.
You really should do something special for this on June 7th since it will be the ten year anniversary of starting this.
11259302
It's a nice thought, but not sure I could put something together in four days; this story has slowed to an absolute snail's pace.
11259683
Maybe you could start with a joke about failing to do the celebration on time with possibly twilight is angry about it and go from there.
11259683
I know how it is to have stories slow to a snail's pace. I have stories, both published and unpublished that are going through the same situation.
woot!
Spike > Twilight
Forever
You went Heard VS Depp, because of course you did.
Nice Turnabout Storm reference.