Ranger
Chapter 238: Three
By Wanderer D
"Commander," Estella called, "it's ready."
Chrysalis looked at the large, spherical orb of energy that had slowly formed up in the circular platform since they had restarted their machines. So far there had been no more attempts from ADVENT or Chimera to interrupt.
It was just one switch.
It was all or nothing.
"Do it."
Tirek paced back and forth in the sanctum sanctorum built by the Elders for their communion with their Chosen. Up until then, the room had been little more than a secret mockery for Aria, Sonata and himself, where the Elders would torture them, true, but the Chosen knew that underneath it all, the alien's control over them was little more than an illusion.
But now, it seemed like the only place where he could go. He hated being subservient to anyone, or anything, but even Sonata and Aria had admitted that the Ethereals were powerful beings in their own right, blissfully unaware of the true power of magic, but by no means pushovers. If they had any negative reactions to their psionics clashing with magic, he had seen no sign of it, and much to his irritation, they were the only ones that could protect him.
"You come to us in your time of despair, Warlock," the voices of the ethereals echoed in the room as the familiar cascade of psionic energy materialized. He could almost see their shapes, ephemeral in the flow of power. "We cannot reach the Hunter. Our calls find only emptiness. Our minds see only darkness, where her light used to be."
"She has betrayed us," Tirek growled. "She and her ally used unknown powers to steal her sarcophagus and seal it away from us. She conspires against ADVENT, against me… against you."
He could feel the sadness emanating from their psychic energy. A sadness, he knew, that had nothing to do with empathy. It was the sadness born of disappointment that their pets were acting up. The type of sadness that ended in suffering for any that caused it. "Betrayed... by one of our chosen. This hurts us, Warlock, for you, Sonata and Aria are our children."
Tirek sank to one knee, fighting a scowl. 'Children indeed.' "The betrayal of the Hunter is a fresh wound in my mind too," he said, not looking up, "especially so soon after the death of the Assassin, with whom I had a friendly rivalry." As much as wanting to decapitate her could be called a rivalry, in any case. "The Hunter has chosen to side with this monstrosity from another dimension… the Siren Queen, Fugue Dusk. She is the one that has the power to hide the sarcophagus from you. The power to decimate our forces… as much as it pains me to say, I fear that Sonata and Aria had both been waiting for their queen to come to this world and claim it."
"This world will not belong to her."
The psychic energy shuddered with deep anger at the statement of the Elders, and Tirek silently thanked the fates that he had not been on the receiving end of that.
"It belongs to you, Masters," Tirek said smoothly, bowing his head. "But Fugue is a threat to all living beings, not just of this world."
"Is this Fugue Dusk like our enemies from beyond the dark?"
For this, the Warlock had no answer. The fabled enemies of the Ethereal's empire were such a distant threat, after all… "Of course she is not," he said, "her powers do not measure to your own. But she is dangerous, and she is hunting us-you."
"This bearer of unknown power, this creature known as a siren… she shall—"
Tirek was about to ask what was wrong, but then he felt it. The psionic fields channeled through the ADVENT Network around the world were being disrupted. He gathered his power, summoning a protective field as the energies in the room crashed like waves against every surface.
The two Codexes that watched over his meeting with the Elders collapsed onto their knees, screeching their banshee-like wails as their forms fizzled between dimensions even more so than usual with each hit of the wave.
It was then that he realized the Elders were screaming in anger, and that he himself was trembling with… something. It couldn't be fear, right? What could cause this reaction in him? Was it Fugue? No… it was different, this was shaking the Psychic Network to its very core, but that could only mean… he glanced at the writhing and wailing Codexes.
They looked... diminished.
"Fuck."
Sonata looked up from where they had been observing the ADVENT base they had been stalking. "He's in there," she giggled, "crying out for help to the Elders."
Fugue rolled her eyes. "We should just go in and take him out."
"Oh, Fugue, you're so confident…" Sonata whispered biting the other siren's ear playfully. "But you shouldn't underestimate them. Between the Commander, Chimera and us Chosen, the AVATAR project hasn't gained much traction, but should they complete it… well they might prove more dangerous than we anticipate."
Fugue snorted. "I can feel the psychic power in there… it's… impressive."
Sonata nodded. "And something we just need to wait out. The moment the Warlock is gone, they start moving for real, and we need to also be ready."
"We will take on XCOM and retrieve Aria," Fugue whispered. "She will be reborn." She was about to add something else, but the moment was interrupted by… something. A familiar feeling, yet completely different than anything she had felt before. "What's that?"
Sonata grinned, a savage, blood-thirsty smile that contrasted with the aura of anger that she emanated. "It seems XCOM moved faster than we anticipated. They have freed Adagio. There are three Sirens in this world once again."
Fugue looked down at the facility. "Then let's get her gem back."
o.0.o End Chapter 238 o.0.o
Gem Jamboree
"it was different this was"
"it was different, this was"?
"Fuge whispered"
"Fugue whispered"?
Short but good, you Build up Tension
Seems X-COM push the on button for the fan.
Well. Things are about to get interesting.
Anyone else feel that wonderful breeze?
9665342
😉
Hey, nice.
After her experiences she may not be as cooperative as you might expect, Sonata.
Ohhh dear. Things are get to get well and truly interesting now, in the sense of the curse.
I think you mean Sonata, not Fugue.
Otherwise, not bad. Sometimes the best thing is just produce anything so you can get moving again. Inertia is a bitch.
9665281 Fixed! Thanks!
9665688 Yes, Sonata! Thank you. And yeah, inertia breeds inertia, apparently.
9665698
Ah, you're welcome. :)
And glad someone else spotted that second one; I completely missed it.
AIGHT SO
I'm at the end.
And I have to leave in five minutes.
So, uh, in a couple hours expect a much longer reply looking at the story in-depth AND a PM Shortly thereafter about certian things. Right now, have some short points:
- Accepted into the League of Sweetie Belles
- 8.5/10 right now, might change after I dwell on it for a while
- Care enough about the characters to give it a watch
- I have no idea who the best character is anymore
- A lot more squick than the tags on the story implied. I don't mind, but it still sits oddly with me.
More coming soon!
-GM, master of LSB.
9666735
First read, then think, then reply.
Ranger. A story that had consistently popped up in recommended and on featured. I knew it was about Sunset fighting Aliens. Figured since Wanderer was writing it, it'd be good. That's really all I knew before jumping in, though one actually look at the tags told me it was an XCOM crossover. I know nothing about XCOM besides "alien invasion" and this story was written in such a way that... normally I didn't need to know anything.
That said I do not have a very clear image of what many of the alien types look like besides the sneks. Because... sneks. My fault, I probably could have looked up images, but I just kept reading.
But that didn't keep me from enjoying the story, because it was still great, easily dragged me along enough to keep me emotionally invested, which is always enough to get into the favorites. A nonstop action-packed gun-toting highly-emotional FESTIVAL. There's notable issues I'm going to go into a probably-annoying amount of detail about later on in this comment, but know that Ranger is good, great, even. I would recommend it, but I'm not gonna salivate over it and say it's a must read (Unlike a certain Sweetie-focused story of yours).
PACING. The Pacing's too fast. For a story that took me so long to get through, the thing moves at lightning speed. It drags you through the dirt and gravel like a train falling into Earth's gravity well, with one thing after another happening BAM BAM BAM! I expect this effect is significantly lessened when you can't read all 238 chapters at once and are forced to ruminate on one chapter at a time, but considering Ranger as a book, it speeds by exceedingly rapidly. It means a lot of characters who are supposed to be important get details left in the dust, and a lot of characters become little more than 'names' to bolster everything else. Most of Dragon team was like this, and some bigger names like Estella (Starlight) I had to actively work to keep in mind. I can probably tell you a few sentences about most characters now that I've driven through so much, but I don't feel like I have a grasp on who a lot of them ARE. On the other hand, the pacing means the story can't be said to be BORING at any point... Though I would appreciate a bit more visual description overall.
I can also tell that these chapters were written on a schedule, meant to be pumped out quickly. Occasionally sentences will be redundant or there'll be odd word choices. Wasn't big enough to alter enjoyment that much, though, but I did notice it.
CHARACTERS
Your characters are excellent when they have time to shine and get embedded in our psyche. I may gush about Angel (who IS a good character) and Julian (who's mostly good just because of a concept, I'll be honest) but it I'm honest as a fellow author, Commander Chrysalis is your strongest character. Equal parts mysterious, relatable, and respectable. She knows, but she struggles. She demands respect, but she definitely isn't perfect. She's at the center of it all somehow without hogging the spotlight. I applaud you. Your next best is Twilight - I love myself a good innocence deconstruction, and she was run through the wringer. I could go on - Sweetie (I might be biased), Mox, CELESTIA... and Sunset, though she's not as high up there as I expect you want her to be.
ACTION n DRAMA
Imma be honest here, I think your action is great. Take this with a grain of salt because I don't consider myself that good of a critique of action since I tend to get lost in the words when it breaks out and things tend to just fly by in a technicolor movie explosion. You kept me invested. The Drama seems to have two settings - super deep, heartfelt, and involved OR hamfisted, angsty, and just... flat? I don't think that's the right word, but it comes out as "being said because it needs to be said" not because "the characters would say it." Scootaloo's last tantrum at Rainbow felt like that, as I commented earlier. But there are so many other moments... Fluttershy, Twilight and her freinds, her friends reacting to Twilight's letter, so many scenes with Sunset... ...I'm still on the fence about the Celestia and Sunset scene.
IN CONCLUSION
You got a good story here. A really good one. I understand how hard it is to juggle lots and lots of characters, and you have my respect for keeping everything internally straight. Hopefully, I'll still be here when you finish this monstrosity. Thanks for writing it. Hope this didn't sound too negative, it's just easier to talk about nitpicks than gush over something more often than not.
I will gush about Angel though. Endlessly. Props to that snek. Best snek.
See you soon!
derpicdn.net/img/2013/5/8/319497/full.png
-GM, master of Sweeties.
Did I miss a chapter? When did they do that?
9666983
Caught me rather by surprise as well. But in retrospect it does make sense. Shen said last chapter that the teleportation accident indicated they'd nearly managed to break the Ghost free. I was expecting to see it from Chryssie's / XCOM's perspective first, but I imagine that's coming in a chapter or ten. This was a delightful unexpected view on how that event looked from yet another perspective in this multi-faceted setting.
So rounding up the state of the Sirens/Chosen:
• Aria/Assassin: Killed by XCOM (just her gem left) - but Fugue thinks she can be reborn
• Sonata/Hunter: Has apparently defected from ADVENT to follow Fugue
• Tirek/Warlock: Still grudgingly serving the Elders, until he has a moment to betray them
• Adagio/Ghost: Was friends with the old Sunset I think, 20 years ago? Has been trapped in the ADVENT Network since then. Has just been freed; remains to see what this means.
• Fugue/Sunset: Looks to be trying to form a triplet of Sirens to take over the world.
Awesome!
Are you implying something with Sunsets new name? I mean Fugue DUSK?
9665146
Why have there not been more thumbs up for you comment? That was brilliant!
10213902
not sure, maybe it was too subtle~
There is something bigger behind being a Siren...
I wonder what.
Maybe the Gems are the source of corruption.