Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Hiatus Bonus Chapter
Epidemic in Western Afriquestria
Dear Zecora,
First off, allow us to give you our utmost sympathies regarding the epona fillyvirus epidemic that is happening over in your home nation. We hope your family is safe.
That being said, we were hoping that you could perhaps put us in touch with a zebra stallion that has been recently infected with epona. According to research, the epona virus spreads through contact with bodily fluids, so we'd happily help this zebra stallion get one last good time with a pony princess, if you catch our drift.
The way we see it, this works out best for everypony. The zebra gets some, Twilight gets some, and a few days later, the Kingdom of Friendship's princess spot is vacated by a painful, internal and external hemorrhaging death.
Here's hoping you can help us out.
Sincerely,
Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity
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I love how utterly un-PC this story is.
And this is the reason I love this fic.
Is there no depth to which it shall stoop? Let's find out!
lol. I love this story.
5125826 It just keeps digging down. Sure, you may hit lava every now and then, but there are also a gem or two, and it'll keep going down until we hit bedrock.
5125872
Bedrock? Bah! Don't let that stop you! Keep digging further! Dig to the very core! Then no matter what direction you go, you are digging upwards!
Next week: Beheadings are Magic!
Nice job with the name wordplay~
Remember kids, it isn't ebola unless you have diarrhea shooting out of BOTH ends!
I am going to a VERY special place in Hell for laughing at this.
Whoa! Harsh!
5126008 moviefancentral.com/images/pictures/review62285/tumblr_mdce84L3151ry1q8i.gif?1362598334
Ahh. Wow. you kept this surprisingly tactful for the subject you're dealing with
Miles... you are so utterly crazy wrong with the shit you write! ILOVE YOU MAN!!!
And this is where I'd post my Zecora reply.
IF I HAD ONE!
5126441
I think it'd be along the lines of
"Will you ponies ever learn?
I must give you a lesson stern:
In West-Afriquestria I've never been;
It is in the East, that lives all my kin!
Racists."
5126099 Save me a seat. At least it's not the one for people who talk at the theat(-er/-re). Never was entirely sure which spelling Book used.
5125976
I'm going to a VERY SPECIAL place in hell. First for laughing at this story, then for laughing at your comment!
It was only a matter of time.
Meanwhile in Canterlot . . .
"Who's that stallion that just hopped the fence surrounding Canterlot Castle?"
"It's a bio-terrorist, come to infect the princesses with epona!"
"Everypony panic!"
Why don't they send Applejack over to get it and bring it back?
CALLED IT!!! I KNEW SOMETHING LIKE THIS WAS COMING!!!!
Dear Twilight Sparkle:
I know you want a new sex slave:
I know of a zebra who will always behave.
Sincerely, Zecora.
Dear Zecora:
No thanks. Zebras are icky.
Sincerely, Princess Twilight Sparkle.
Dear Epona:
I told you that hanging out with that bald ape would get you sick one day.
Sincerely, Princess Twilight Sparkle.
5125872 When you hit Bedrock, be sure to say "Hi" to Fred Flintstone for me.
KBO.
5128172 Don't forget about Barney Rubble and Dino.
Epona's name is in too high of a regard to be named a virus. Sure, she helped slaughter hundreds with Link on her back, but still...
At first I was wondering why was Twilight trying to get herself infected with the disease, until I found out who wrote the letter. I forgot that everyone in that world is "disgruntled."
5125872 Riots over Micheal Black and White's death. The pegasis attacks in Manehatten, but there is so much further this can go! I want to see something about a bully victim committing suicide and the victim being called a pussy.
I think I cringed so hard I turned inside out.
Is it fair I'd imagine Family Guy, with its current writing staff, to make a joke about Ebola?
5128915 Please, Epona is the name of a goddess that Link's horse is named after.
5133834 ...Same point.
Oh lawd
Ouch, that's certainly ONE way to off a princess.
5155510 Yes. Anypony who has the audacity to make a foal out of Princess Twilight Sparkle deserve to die a slow, painful, poisoning death.
Who says I was made a foal of?
N-n-no one, my princess.
I chose to come in fifth.
O-o-of course you did, how foolish of me. That was very noble and generous of you. B-b-but it is to be expected. You are the very epitome of a gracious ruler.
One. More. Time. If you piss me off one more time, Neko, your punishment will not be pretty.
Y-y-yes, Princess Twilight Sparkle, whatever you say, Mistress.
5155470
Wow, forty whole weeks...
Offensive humor, oh where have you been these last few weeks?
5125872 hey, are you still working on one for rainbow rocks and when would we expect to see that done??
5190133 Some time after it is out on DVD. Which is Tuesday.
ah, the level of which only a fanfic writer can pass, I don't think even South Park could go this low
not sure if compliment...
really not "western zebrica"?
also this is bad and you should feel bad. etc
"Epona. SNRK!"
Dang guys, that's a pretty brutal way to axe Twilight off.
Look, i know she's an attention-grabbing horny bitch, but that's a bit harsh, don't cha think?
-Scarlet Scribble
---------
Nope.
-RD, AJ, Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Rarity.
5125791
Right emoticon at the right time. I salute you, good sir.