Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Dear Braeburn,
So when we first get to town, your right foreleg is injured, and then later during the rainstorm, your left leg is injured.
I know there aren't many things to do out on the range, but maybe you need to stop clopping so hard.
Your cousin,
AJ
Dear Sheriff Silver Star,
If I've still got to face charges for the damages I've caused, why don't y'all go tell the Weather Factory to do the same to Rainbow Dash.
Respectfully,
Troubleshoes
Dear "Mob Ponies",
I love how you two always have a torch and pitchfork.
But Baltimare is that way.
Sincerely,
Sheriff Silver Star
Dear Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo,
If ponies assume fillynapping whenever we run off, do you gals think we could fool Ponyville that Big Mac rapes fillies in the apple cellar?
Sincerely,
Apple Bloom
Dear Applejack,
Alright, cuz. Let's see. First, you poked Big Mac's injury at the Acres during Applebuck Season, then you force fed Rainbow Dash when she was injured at the Equestria Games Qualifications, and now you hoofbump my bad leg.
Do you have a bandage fetish or something?
Sincerely,
Braeburn
Dear Braeburn,
Shit, that's nothing. You should see what they do over here when a horse has a broken leg.
Sincerely,
Sunset Shimmer
Dear Tank,
Hey, it's not winter anymore. You can come out of hibernating now.
Tank?
...Tank?
-Rainbow Dash
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Hilarious! And here I actually believed you, when you said that you wouldn't be referencing Baltimore's riots.
5934927 Fine line between a reference and a dedicated chapter.
Regardless, thanks for reading!
Torch and Pitchfork for Baltimare xDD Dude, you are awesome!
What they do to horses that broke their leg? Never thought about that, let's what the next (and hopefully last) EQG brings
5934935
Nice use of the new meme.
Dear Braeburn,
You had one job. ONE JOB.
Your Cousin,
Applejack
I'm of the opinion Braeburn faked his injuries because he's a pussyfaggot.
5934978 Well... if you listen to the show, he says
So... That kinda implies he believes he has no chance of winning himself.
Dear Troubleshoes,
That's out of ma jursidication, go take it up with Cloudsdale.
Sincerely,
Sheriff Silver Star
P.S. Ya still owe me for all those beds ya broke in the holding cell. They ain't cheap ya know.
5934987
Now that's something I didn't even stop to consider. Nice catch.
Er... Dark.
*sees image* Goddammit Nappa. I mean miles. I mean Nappa.
Also, my headcanon for those two Mob Ponies is that their names are Torch and Pitchfork.
Hey! You were featured today!
Tank had a 1/3 chance dying during hibernation.
Rainbow didn't get caught.
We were all thinking the same thing. Damn zebras run half the town, and they declare themselves to be oppressed.
Nah. He's gotta cut you apart too. And rape your bodies.
You know it!
Again, we were thinking the same thing. I wonder if Sunset bucks to horse before they do it?
NO!
NO! We do NOT talk about that fanfic!
Dear Apple Bloom,
Fool?
Sincerely,
Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo
Dear Troubleshoes,
Come over here darling, we need to talk.
-Starlight Glimmer
That's on you, cuz, yer the one who's not puttin' out.
-Braeburn
See my hoof pointing through this paper? ... Don't give me that excuse!
The logic leap here is so random that it isn't even funny despite the reference.
5935133 agreed
dammit, author, why'd you have to remind me of the only one out of this fandoms worst grimdark fics i WON'T read? (i've read and like cupcakes, especially that flash video based on it. i've read rainbow factory, eh, i got used to it, watching bronydanceparty's pmv helped with that. >.> i even read through twilight's experiments...not too bad until the ending when everything goes into pure wtf'ery. but this one? no way, i don't even want to know.) fyi, rape ain't the only thing i've heard of regarding the apple family (cannabilism, 'nuff said) but i'm not going into those disturbing topics any further.
ROFL! This is one of the best letter chapters.
5935183
"Wait, it causes bad luck? Oh... ummmmm... Celestia's mane! I've been reformed by Twilight! Yeah that's it, I'm a good guy now and I don't collect cutie marks! Gotta go, bye!"
5935018
That segment made me whimper...
5935713
Same. I don't mind Black Comedy, I enjoy Hellsing Ultimate Abridged, but still.
Dear Trouble Shoes,
My Mistress does not know I am writing this, and you seem like a pretty cool guy, why not come over and show Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle a good time? She is about to enter into estrus and I am scared—er—worried that her insatiability will be unquenchable without at least you, me, and four other able-bodied stallions. Please, help me—fulfill my Mistress' needs by helping to fill—
Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle, forgive me for questioning you, but are you sure you want me to write that?
How are you talking, slave? Shouldn't your tongue be busy?
Yeth, Mithtwith. Ath you with.
Aww, yeah, keep talking into it. And finish that letter!
Yeth, ove couth.
—every open orifice on her body, making her completely watertight. I am sure that with your help, we can help her through her time of need.
I can hear my Mistress coming, so I am going to have to finish this letter quickly before she catches me off guard.
Signed Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's loyal, multitasking slave,
Neko Majin C.
~KBO.
Using ALL the top pictures in /r/mylittlepony for 'inspiration'!
5935713
5935733
Same here. I read that part, and I was all: pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw7638_large.jpg
5934988
Dear Sheriff Silver Star,
Very Well, I'll get some from Quills and Sofas (And Beds). I heard they're expanding.
Sincerely,
Troubleshoes
5935018
Dear Rainbow Dash,
Hi Rainbow, I somehow dug myself into a Sewage Wonderland while hibernating. Met some Turtles and aparently now I'm their fifth brother. Cowabonga!!
Sincerely,
Tank
5935133
Dear Crusaders,
NOPE!!
Sincerely,
Big Mac
5938038 LOL! Genius!
5938038
Works for me.
5938125
Rainbows Checklist: (For Ponies I have Sex with)
-Applejack (check)
-Twilight (check...)
-Pinkie Pie (check X infinity)
-Tank (check)
-TMNT (hmmmm...)
Since I tried Pinkie Pie Orgy why not Turtles...
5938038
Better than their lost "sister"!
It looked like it needed it.
oh good, I'm not the only one who noticed this, I half expected this to be foreshadowing to him being trouble shoes, it was that obvious
5934978
seems kind of coincidental that both mac and brae got injuries that applejack seemed to "accidently" hurt them for it. what a coincidence, I wonder what their injuries were from?
As a Baltimare native, good on ya
That.. is one dark reference. Or was that one unintentional?
5934944
That was funny as hell.
Dat Sweet Apple Massacre reference
5951770 It's been a while, but I believe I meant did, and autocorrect was stupid again.
5938736 Venus de'Milo...yeahfuckthatshit.
5938740
Wrong reptile :P
When is next episode?
6005174 I'm taking a break from writing for a little while. I'd guess a few weeks.
6032114 Nightmare Snowdrop FTW!
5938740 ...You beat me to the MGS joke ....
You'll pay for this, Captain Planet!!!