Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Additional contributions by MixMassBasher.
Dear Rainbow Dash,
I’m pretty certain that anypony would prefer boring news to any Princess Celestia related news involving fake news ever since the Cutie Mark Chronicles came about.
Your bestest friend,
Pinkie Pie
P.S. Also, I'm pretty certain that Daring Do quit because she didn't want the Egyptian Brotherhood tailing her ass with whatever mess she got into this time.
Dear Princess Celestia,
If you’re looking for fake news, Dr. Caballeron is the pony that you should put behind bars.
Your most awesome subject,
Rainbow Dash
A long time ago….
Somnambula was busy tending the crops for Prince Hisan’s latest banquet when a crow flew towards her from the bright blue sky, carrying with it a message. Upon feeding the bird some bread, Somnambula opened the scroll.
Dear Somnambula,
I hope this message reaches you. We are in dire need of assistance. A new enemy approaches and hope is just what we need right now.
Your fellow pillar,
Star Swirl the Bearded
To whom it may concern,
Whatever you do, do not at any cost, revive Ahmane. She'll bring back Set. That's the last thing Equestria needs after my colleagues and I are done dealing with another evil spawn.
Signed,
Somnambula
P.S. Always remember to take a leap of faith and hope for the best.
Dear Somnambula,
No worries. We learned our lesson like, more than a decade ago when somepony tried to revive that priest Imhaytep and his marefriend. If someone revived Ahmane, we're pretty sure whatever transpires would be ten times as dull as that.
Sincerely,
The Medjai
Dear Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie,
During your excursions in Somnambula, you didn't happen to come across any rare eye-emblazoned artifacts, did you? No? Any rare cards for a children's card game?
Just checking.
Sincerely,
Seto Kaiba
Dear Rainbow Dash,
So when Cabelleron and his henchponies surrounded you, you kinda just... Sat there. What kind of horse shit was that? You're a Wonderbolt for crying out loud. I've seen you bolt up from the ground in a flash.
So either you're over-dramatizing things, or you're a fraud. Which is it?
Sinerely,
Daring Do
Chapter updates are probably going to be coming just a little bit quicker than they usually do. Mix has departed for national service training, and very impressively got me the rest of his content for Season 7 and the movie.
I wish him the absolute best of luck in his training and military service.
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Great chapter, but...
It’s spelt with a Y instead of an I. Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood does it that way so that it sounds like they’re adding an I, but it’s really a Y.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2017/9/6/1529255.png
(source)
8763150
The Mummy and The Mummy Returns (my intended reference) spelled it Medjai, and there are several ways of spelling it according to Wikipedia.
Or maybe she's really into bondage?
*Sincerely
Come to think of it, though, maybe the reason Rainbow Dash let herself be taken was because she wanted Daring Do to save her? Like as a confidence boost or something (it's probably just wonky writing, but it's interesting to think about).
Dear Daring,
Do you want me to get Quibble to list all the times you've frozen up over the years? Because even I can think of at least a dozen. Just imagine all the ones he has memorized.
Your fellow example of drama-induced paralysis,
Rainbow Dash
8763187
Ah.
Amazing work.
Missing space.
My dearest Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle,
That sleep potion laced letter you had me send to Daring Do came back return to sender, just like the one you had me send to Pear Butter. Maybe
youI should have addressed it to A.K. Yearling, instead of some pony most of the world believes to be nothing more than a character in a book,like I suggested. This is my fault, I really dropped the ball on that one. Luckily, this time, I was smart enough not to touch the letter. I left it in the mailbo—Crap, it is gone. Where is it? Where is it? Where is it?!
...Oh... you found it... Aaaand you are unconscious. Wow, face down, ass up... tail draped over your elegant back... so-sopping w-wet... I-it would be... UNFortunate if someone were to find you in this state of a-affairs... They could do absolutely anything to you...
But I shall not let that come to pass. I will take you to your room, lock the door, put you to bed, clean you up, and stand diligently, firm and erect at your hip until you awaken, happy and satisfied from how deep and... restful your sleep was. No one will be able to come inside, only I will be permitted to enter.
Signed your loyal slave who also did not take thousands of pictures of your sopping wet marehood,
Neko Majin C.
~KBO.
Somnambula The Witch, the Youth Stealer, the mistress of illusions, now has her name stolen by a pony.
Dear Rainbow Dash and Daring Do,
You think Somnambula is awesome? Check out this other guy from my dimension. He’s a pretty sweet guy; he freed a bunch of slaves and brought about several plagues to the empire that enslaved them to begin with. He also has this wicked awesome trick where he parted an entire sea.
Oh wait, that guy was me.
Sincerely,
Moses
8772212
It dose give one some ideas for stories, either comedy's or horror take your pick.