The Wheel and the Butterfly
A Dan X Pinkie Pie saga
Part 12 Dan Vs. Couples
Epilogue
-ooooooo-
‘Ffffrrrrrreeeeee!’
Pinkie’s hair inflated to its normal curly shape almost immediately as her lips made contact with Dan’s. Dan responded by wrapping his arms around his lover’s body and returned the affection. Mr. Mumbles bounded up to Pinkie and rubbed her head against her leg as she began to purr. Most everyone else present breathed a sigh of relief.
“Huh…” Flynn uttered as she held on tight to Jean and Kale. “…Doesn’t really look like an abusive relationship from here.”
Jean sighed and shook her head. “No, I guess it doesn’t.”
“Ewww!” Dennis exclaimed. “You two are getting all smoochie face with each other!”
Dan and Pinkie chuckled lightly as they parted lips and leaned their foreheads against each other briefly.
Dan turned and looked down at Dennis. “Someday you’ll figure out this ‘smoochie face’ stuff isn’t so bad…”
“Will I need a lobotomy first?” Dennis snarked back.
Pinkie giggled. “Hehehe… He really is like a tiny version of you…”
“Dan!” Chris said. “You still complain when Elise and I are affectionate with each other! Plus you and Pinkie are still way worse about displays of public affection.”
“Yeah, but when we do it, it’s cute,” Dan replied. “No wants to see you pair of uglies going at it like two dogs fighting over a bone, and yes the dog comparison was intentional!”
“Heeeey!” Chris protested.
Elise furrowed her brow and leaned over to Chris. “At what point do I get to stop feeling bad that we didn’t help Dan rescue Pinkie?”
Chris shrugged. “Eh, guess we can at least give him until after dinner.”
Pinkie looked down at Dennis and grinned. “Ready to go?”
“You bet!” Dennis replied. “Let’s blow this popsicle stand!”
Jean frowned. “You’re really going to take Dennis?”
“We’re just going to borrow him!” Pinkie exclaimed.
“Borrow, nothing!” Dan cried. “We should adopt him as our own!”
Pinkie gasped. “Oh my gosh! oh my gosh! That sounds like a great idea!”
“Sweet!” Dennis exclaimed.
Jean and Flynn quickly exchanged worried expressions.
Amber raised a fist to her mouth and cleared her throat. “I hate to be a killjoy, but that would actually be kidnapping, not adoption.”
“So!?” Dan exclaimed. “They tried to kidnap Pinkie! Turnabout is fair play.”
Pinkie nodded her head up and down.
Amber folded her arms and shot Dan and Pinkie an unamused expression. “Also, you two live in a small, three room apartment with only a hollow core door to separate the bedroom from the living area. I know. Pinkie even diagrammed it a few times in her questionnaire."
Dan turned and exchanged frowns before they turned back to Amber.
“Borrow,” Dan stated. “Borrowing’s good.”
“Yeah, definitely,” Pinkie agreed.
“Awwwwww…” Dennis uttered in disappointment.
Jean and Flynn collectively breathed a sigh of relief.
“Uuuuhhhh…” Jennifer moaned from the floor. “Could someone help me up?”
Pinkie shot Jennifer a glare. “You pointed a gun at me and Dan!” she reminded.
“WHAT?!” Chris and Elise exclaimed.
“Merrrow! HISSSSS!” Mr. Mumbles exclaimed.
Becky frowned. “Whoa… things sound like they got intense.”
Ninja Dave nodded. “Yeah, no kidding…”
Jennifer pursed her lips. “Uh… I’ll just… I’ll just stay here for a bit.”
“Hey!” Pinkie exclaimed. “I have an idea! Why don’t we visit Dennis from time to time! Maybe take him out for a day every once in a while!”
Dan smiled. “Love it!”
Dennis grinned. “Sounds good to me!”
Jean and Flynn exchanged worried expressions once more.
“Uh,” Flynn began, “do we have a say in the matter?”
Pinkie giggled slightly before her face and tone turned dark for a split second. “Hehehe, no.”
Flynn sighed. “I thought as much.”
“I don’t know, dear,” Jean replied. “Maybe this is a good opportunity for Dennis to socialize and channel some of his energy.”
Flynn turned towards his soulmate with a look of disbelief. He motioned out towards Dan and Pinkie. “You think Dennis spending time with those two will somehow be an enriching experience for him?!”
“I just think we should be open to the possibility,” Jean replied.
Flynn’s eye twitched and he sat up. “Kale, buddy? Let’s go to your room and play.”
“Sure, buddy!” Kale said enthusiastically.
Flynn and Kale stood up and walked out of the room.
Everyone silently followed the two with their eyes.
“I’m sure he’s just contemplating the growth opportunity here…” Jean stated.
Amber sighed. “Seriously, can we go, please? I’m already an accessory to about half a dozen crimes as it is.”
Dan grinned. “Not to mention the ones you committed yourself!”
Amber sighed as she addressed Dan, “Yes, Dan. I’m aware of that.”
The group began to shuffle on down the hallway towards the stairs.
“Food sounds good,” Chris declared. “Food always sounds good!”
Dan rolled his eyes. “There’s a surprise.”
Elise shrugged. “Just as long as it’s food and not things that vaguely resemble or taste of food.”
The group made its way down the stairs and out of the house.
Jason moaned from the ground. “UuUuUuUuUuhh… Does anyone have a spare notepad I could use?”
-ooooooo-
Dan, Pinkie, and Dennis sped across the restaurant floor as they all sat on a large serving tray. Dan held a fire extinguisher behind him and fired it in a long, continuous burst that propelled the group along.
Pinkie exclaimed a happy “Wheeeeeeeee!” as Dan and Dennis laughed maniacally.
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA—”
‘CRASH!’
From several tables set up next to each other, Elise, Chris, Ninja Dave, Becky, and Amber all watched with an almost detached level of interest as the trio crashed their tray into an unoccupied table.
“We’re okay!” Pinkie called from a heap composed of the three tray riders and a few chairs.
“That was AWESOME!” Dennis cried as he pulled himself from the pile.
“Sure was!” Dan agreed as he stood up and dusted himself off. “Let’s grease up the bottom again and go for another run!” With that, the three giddily ran across the restaurant and disappeared into the kitchen.
Amber turned to the rest of the group at the table. “So this is what those two do? They go out, cause mayhem, grab a bite to eat, and go out and do it again?”
Ninja Dave chuckled. “I said almost the exact same thing the first time I went out with those two…”
Becky grinned at Amber. “Welcome to the club.”
Amber sighed as she dug her fork into her salad. She shook her head. “And none of you even try to stop them?”
The group collectively shrugged.
Elise spoke up, “You have to pick your battles with those two.”
Chris sat down the massive burger in his hand and nodded. “If you fight them at every turn, you just end up exhausted and usually either injured or sticky.” His eyes glazed over slightly as he stared off into space. “Sometimes both…”
“Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee—”
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA—”
The happy trio sped through the restaurant again.
‘CRASH!’
“We’re okay!”
“Again! Again!” Dennis cried.
“I’ll steal another fire extinguisher!” Dan exclaimed.
Amber looked up again at the sound of the crash then glanced around the restaurant. “The restaurant is now on fire,” she said flatly as she noticed scattered flames trailing from the kitchen starting to spread from Dan, Pinkie, and Dennis’s grease trails.
Elise shrugged. “It happens.”
Chris swallowed a mouthful of burger. “Don’t worry, we still have plenty of time to eat before the smoke fumes force everyone out of the restaurant.”
The group causally went back to eating.
A tan, blond-haired waitress stood next to a serving counter shot a death glare at Pinkie as she scampered about the restaurant. “This isn’t over…” she whispered to herself. “I’ll make sure you’re hunted and suffer until the end of your days, and you don’t have many of those left…”
A man in a chef coat popped up behind the counter and held out a couple plates. “Hey Helen, table five’s order is ready.” He paused. “Also, the flames are getting pretty close to it. We’re out of fire extinguishers, so you’ll have to use some of your ice water to keep the fire at bay.”
Helen’s eye twitched. “Soon…” she murmured menacingly.
“So Amber,” Becky began, “I take it you’re done with couple’s therapy?”
Amber nodded her head. “Absolutely, even setting aside my experiences with everyone here, it does nothing for my anger issues." Amber paused and added. “…Except for making me angrier.” She pursed her lips. “Anger management too, ironically enough…”
“Huh,” Ninja Dave said, “so what are you going to do now?”
Amber smiled. “I have a Phd in Social Psychology. I’m sure I’ll land on my feet.”
-ooooooo-
“LOOK OUT!” D.H. cried as she tripped holding a tray full of colorful cupcakes.
Amber stood motionless with a sour expression on her face as several cupcakes rained down upon the register in front of her, her hair, her face, her clothes, and her apron.
“And this is pretty much every day here?” she glowered out.
“Yep!” Chris replied from next to her as he picked a cupcake off his shoulder and began eating it.
Amber grumbled irritably to herself, turned towards the back of the shop and shouted, “We need more Rainbow cupcakes!”
“Okay!” Pinkie’s voice called back cheerfully.
Dan approached the register, a smile on his face and a mop in his hands. He handed out the mop for Amber. “Would you be a dear and clean up this mess, Doc?”
Amber muttered something incomprehensible under her breath and snatched the mop. She stormed off towards the back of the shop.
Dan looked up and Chris and grinned. “Do you ever feel you have the best job ever?”
Chris grabbed another cupcake off his body and shoveled it into his mouth. “Absfowluwtely!” he replied through a mouthful of food.
End Part 12
Yay everyone is happy!
4344084
Especially the author.
This story finally got featured.
Edit: Heh, that was short lived.
4094203 Arkansas got ur back, bud. and we still got some assault rifles
4344089
Featured 5/5/2104
what year are you from my friend?
4344151
Whoops. Thank you! Fixed.
Error. Jennifer pointed the gun at Pinkie, not Jean. Otherwise, YAY MORE FUNNIES!
4344208 Whoops.
Fixed!
lol im glad so many good fics are being updated on the same day to help me cope with the recently learned but not actually that recent cancellation of a good fic i was reading :P
Ha Amber is now Dan's minon
Phd in Social Psychology. Congratulations Doc, heres the mop, youre hired.
I heard of a company like that they cme up with an amazing intermediate byte code, run time compiled code design, that shipped with nearly a dozen CPU architecures on release. Somethong about teh Pentium code was 90k, and one of the largest. Thing is, they tried to sell it to big companies. They endded up going but and the patent trolls buying them up. Given I recently saw a very similar idea from Microsoft, as in the code bit, not the automatically run virtually over the network cloud style bit, I think I know where some of the paperwork got to. Miss the days when a single core software could run on 7 different cores on 3 different architectures in the one machine? I do.
Ok, so resteraunt waitress is now very annoyed, where is Dan and Pinkie going to go next?
Dan Vs Zoo?
Dan Vs BART?
Dan Vs TSA?
Dan Vs Disneyland?
Woo, Amber's part of the crew now!
So Amber's one of the recurring characters now? Sweet!
And to be honest...I'm kind of glad we got past this part with a really light hearted chapter...This episodes got really dark.
Hey, who knows, maybe Jean and Flynn will warm up to them...Possibly. {I'm sure Pinkie'll love Kale. She's great with kids....Exceptions included.}
Dan vs New jersey?
Dan vs superpowers?
Dan vs Deadpool?!
The possibilities are endless!
Oh dear. This is going to end...
Remarkably well. Looking forward to further installments, well done.
restaurant in disappeared
I think that 'in' is supposed to be an 'and'
4344089
It took this long for this story to get featured?
Clearly something must be very wrong with us if we allowed this story to go this long without getting featured. So on behalf of all fimfiction users, I would like to apologize for our completely unacceptable behavior.
4344696
Fixed! Thank you!
4344771
Yeah, it may have been featured very briefly when I first started out, but that was it. It's taken a while for the upvote vs downvote ratio to reach a point where it has a shot at the update feature slots (bottom three). I got on the bottom rung very briefly.
On the plus side, that small appearance made for a handful of faves and up-votes, so it's likely the story will be featured again soon.
So Amber is employed at the bakery, Dennis gets to hang out with Dan and Pinkie on a semi-regular basis, and two well intentioned, yet horrible couples got thrashed...I'd say this ended well for everyone!
4344834 Hey, had a weird thought. In your Deviant Art story where you won some commissions, you had a Pinkie that was from Dan's Universe (which makes sense given Equestria Girls' doppelgangers). So, do we run the risk of Dan* bumping into her and trying to take revenge or maybe falling in love?
Just a thought. And you desire more feature time for this fic; it is easily my favorite.
Another one for the bakery!
4344089 Could have sworn I saw this in the features a few other times...
Also, Amber is a part now! And Dennis! And apparently there is a character named Kale who is not Dennis! (Not sure why, but I thought Dennis was called Kale by his family...)
4346044
Oh? Maybe it hit a few times briefly and I never noticed.
Anyhow, Kale is the Goodhill's potentially biological son (he may be adopted like Dennis, it's never clarified one way or the other in Dan Vs.).
On another note, it's nice to see Amber is such a welcome member of the potentially repeatable cast. She definitely has potential playing straight-man in a story where everyone around Dan and Pinkie quickly gets fed up with their nonsense.
Awesome chapter!
Oh man, love the new cover art! Shame this story doesn't get the attention it deserves. Too bad people will only pay attention to a shipping story if it's a paring they like. DanPie needs more love.
4346532
I think in this case it might be more people just not knowing the story exists. The story was only featured for about 20 minutes and I've gotten 13 new favorites tonight. Quite possibly the most favorites in one day excluding when I first started this fic.
I'm sure this story will get much more attention soon.
I love it!
Also that new cover art is AWESOME!!
Keep it up Justice!
4346540
Part of your problem is “heat”. Even if you have more favourites and/or likes (and/or views?) it’s tougher to hit the feature box than someone who’s got a lesser amount in relatively quick succession.
4346660
Yeah, it's an interesting system alright.
Hilariously, "Cleaning up the Mess" was only featured briefly on the lowest rung of the feature box with the mature filter on.
Despite this, it's gotten constant enough heat that it's been in the popular box for over a week at this point.
4342697
One more down...
Uhh... a lot to got.
4350714
Fluttershy sometimes has larger, possibly as even a little bit of a joke from the brony artist community.
this is awesome, keep up the good work. Did ya read my suggestion before? sorry if i offend you but it might help keep things organized if you separate 'seasons' of this awesome series
4350834
I think I missed it. No offense taken.
I understand the idea of doing seasons, but there is an over arcing plot going on, I'm just taking my sweet time to wrap it up.
4350868 yay for plot~ *gets slapped* ow ;w; not that kind.. *shifty eyes* maybe..
hehe.. more Pinkamena.. now they know never to mess with her ever again.. you know what will be fun to see? Elise meeting the other princesses.. i could see she and Luna could get along as they both value secrets and organized traditions or not..
4345966
You won't be disappointed then, I cover a lot of ground in this fic.
Also, done! Thaks again!
4348408
Done! Thank you!
You can probably avoid bringing up the attribution errors. I know these early chapters are absolutely lousy with them, so I'm using your corrections as an opportunity to proofread the chapters, paying special attention to dialogue.
Everything else (misuse of words, misuse of pronunciations elsewhere, run on sentences, etc...) are most welcome however.
4351984
They really are!
4352001
I was hoping someone would eventually get this.
4355440
Holy geez, you're almost all the way caught up! I love that you're enjoying this so much and even all the comments. You've gotten a lot of my more subtle, and obscure references!
Though I kinda understand how Hiko felt when he came back to the site of a massive battle where he slaughtered a bunch of bandits the other day and came back the next morning to see Shinta had buried all the bodies there.
I want to read this...but there is so much there.
4355552
Heh, take your time.
4356262
You might be the first person to have caught this... At the very least, you're the first to call it out.
Pinkie ad dan should just buy a house and adopt dennis
Welp. Caught up finally!
I eagerly await updates
4359320
I like your Big Damn List of corrections. It's much tidier and less intimating than listing out everything individually.
4359657
Heck no. Keep doing what you're doing. As I mentioned in my PM, the early chapters are being revised to correct my early grammar mistakes, so apologize if you move faster than MythrilMoth and I (probably mostly me, he's about four chapters ahead of me on the corrections at this point)
4359980
It's all good.
I just read every chapter here in <24 hours. I think I've laughed more in the past 24 hours than I have in the rest of this month.
4355552 Places hoof on your Sholder.. My frend t s worth t
4429483 But not worth an eye or two?
Well that ended well.
Wasn't the least bit surprised Amber wound up a member of the Cupcake Gang.
4755541
She works well as the new 'de facto straight man' especially since Chris and Elise have seen so much Dan and Pinkie weirdness they can't always be bothered to react.