- Member Since 13th Apr, 2013
- offline last seen Jun 30th, 2023
FlameingToast
NO LONGER POSTING: love you all goodbye, and remember to never stop stop shipping cute things <3
FlameingToast
Joined 13th Apr, 2013 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- WellKPony · 34k words · 222 6 · 4.3k views
- Princess Glitzy · 1k words · 360 25 · 5.7k views
- PrincessoftheNight · 1.6k words · 164 8 · 3.7k views
- Sam Cole · 25k words · 233 26 · 4.4k views
- CosmicWaltz · 5.3k words · 384 6 · 10k views
- Anonymule · 61k words · 113 12 · 2.6k views
- Flint Sparks · 12k words · 86 10 · 2.3k views
- Cheer · 3.1k words · 396 13 · 7.2k views
Featured In18
Shipping 💖11,690 stories ·9,754 members
The Fillyfoolers3,952 stories ·3,493 members
The Writers' Group56,640 stories ·9,314 members
- Organized Shipping (Most Common)2,161 stories ·1,334 members
- F/F ships2,909 stories ·1,412 members
- Struggling Authors25,212 stories ·3,673 members
- Uncommon Shipping Pairs2,102 stories ·1,270 members
Rarilight Stories83 stories ·211 members
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Join our SubscribeStar to remove these adverts!
Stats
Page generated in 0.18 seconds
Total duration
1,070 users online
2,472,942 hits today, 2,732,798 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I will check this out when I awaken from my nightly slumber. I just hope that it was executed well, because I feel that the world could use more Twirity.
Great job! i think this has alot of potential keep it up
We shall soon see what this story has to offer.
2635773>>2635782
I'm going to try and make this as good as I can.
I can't wait to find out how this potion differs from the other (apart from the one obvious similarity).
I have to admit I did kind of had a small moment of hesitation when I read that the love is the result of a potion, but that won't stop me from reading besides Rarity is going to have a very interesting tea time waiting for her, I can't wait to read it.
2635913
Well, Twilight's will be...for now
. And Rarity is probably too confused to think
So funny.
Can we get some twerk action next chap?
Okay, you had me at RareLight...
But it was good. Spoilers ahead
Some constructive criticism: The personal dialog Sweetie is having feels a bit jarring the way it's haphazardly thrown in some places. Like the part about think she got rid of it all. That could be handled by the simple line: Sweetie dumped the kettle into the flower pot, sure she had just averted disaster, or something like that. But I do enjoy the throw backs to past episodes, and actually got a small kick out of the hang glider reference. That was good. Keep it up.
2636219 I agree with this. It's pretty good so far. A couple of grammatical errors spattered about that made me cringe (only cause I hate said mistakes), but otherwise not bad. Could use a bit of a pull on the reins, maybe a bit more detail, too, but otherwise keep it up!
2636219>>2637327
Thank you for the criticism, If you find any more mistakes please point them out to me!
2637450 I rarely keep track of what they were (I'm very lazy and I have to worship the story), but they're in there. Should be pretty simple to spot if you give it a looksie.
This reminds me of the premise of Sparkle Kitten, only that had Rarity affected by a spell instead. But I was never one to care about repeated premises. It's all about the execution, and judging by how well you did ButterflyCakes, I have no doubt this'll be good.
...and then Equestria was gone. :3
I hope for more!
2641176
Now that I think about it, that probably had a lot to do with it, that and rewatching the "Hearts and Hooves Day" episode.
Should be 'familiar with, well a love'
too
'to a stop'
Bolt? Is that supposed to be a door knob?
Missing a space.
I could be a pre-reader if you still need one, but I would be more just correcting small grammatical errors like this and not so much input like you said you wanted.
I'm liking the story
Hehehehe.......
Hehe...
He....
.....
......
.......
.........
2653716 Bolt is an old style of door lock or a dead bolt but I doubt that is the one a bolt lock slides into place from the side and is then turned down to lock it in place or pulled up then pulled back to unlock.
Ah the joy of living in an old house with key holes that yes you can look through...
It was a very old house mind you.
For some reason I was expecting Twilight to be subtle...
Funny chapter, I'm really curious to see what comes of this.
2653716
. Yeah I'd appreciate the help, I'll pm you later after I fix those stupid mistakes. And like a dead bolt like DreadWolf said
Wow I really suck at proofreading
2653767
I'm confused at what your comment means, but I get confused a lot.
Edit: My stupidity never ceases to amaze me. Nevermind.
2654035 2654744 Derp. My house's dead bolt's are regular key locks and I forgot about the ones in my late grandparents' apartment since it's been so long.
I love this so far! it's.great I can't wait for the next chapter!
2654765 Sadly I have never seen an old door lock that was still in working shape. They would ether strip out the parts and leave the key hole or down right replace or gut the door where I lived... so much wasted old tech so many useless multilock keys... What I wasn't snooping I just wanted to use an old key that was much older then I was.
oh hey, cliff-hanger. I hate you... </3
waiting for the next chapter~ :D
2654744 *stupidity
Yeah... it was pretty obvious... but i know that feel bro...
I'm enjoying this.
2657616>>2655549
Thanks
2655870
Aren't cliffhangers annoying?
Sweetie Belle... I love you so much... Thank you for bring forth a "RariLight" into our world with your little stunt lmao
Sweetie Bell..... They're never going to find your body.
Oh dear Sweetie, that may have been the worst choice of words you could think up on the spot. At least go with something like "It was an accident!" Maybe Rarity would have been a little more reasonable. Ah well, nice knowing ya!
I thought at first, since you made a note that Sweetie had only left a tiny amount of potion in the tea, that Twilight would be gradually affected and conflicted with new feelings and emotions, much like someone with a real crush actually feels. I suppose it would have been more toned down than you wanted, though, and you clearly went for the comedic, in-your-face humor route. Not that that was a bad thing either! I chuckled a few times at the absurdity of it all //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rarity_lolface.png
Have a great day!
2659786
Happy I got you to laugh
what happened to raritys scream in the 1st chapter?
2682029
It was her shouting Sweetie Belle.
2682774 oh ok i see XD
Sorry it took so long, now that school's out I will have time to write a chapter a week. I'll probably post Chapter 4 next Sunday.
Anyways, hope you all like the chapter
2698930
Well, I do for sure.
But I recommend you to separate the spoken parts from the rest more clearly. It would makes reading it much more comfortable.
Good story, and I love how well it's progeressing. Doing it in short little hops like this is really nice as well. There was one grammatical error I saw that just jumped up and slapped me:
One to many 'things' in that sentence. You could write it as 'some more important things' or 'something more important.' Based on the rest of the sentence, I'd vote the former. But again, love the story so far, and I'm so looking forward to how you handle the Spike situation to come. Peace out, Sam Cole
Sam beat me to the first grammatical error I saw. The other was this:
I can't tell if this is supposed to be goodnight or night night or just some third expression I've never heard.
Still loving the story and looking forward to see how/if Rarity develops returned feelings and if this causes Twilight to gain genuine ones.
I love seeing love potion shenanigans, always hilariously awkward.
Good chapter, I can't wait to see if Twilight tries to go to some drastic measures to make Rarity love her.
Oh god I just realized there going to have to walk through town. This is going to be good
2699294
thanks for pointing that out, I changed it to 'something more important'
2699388
I changed it to sweet dreams.
2700907
glad that you're enjoying the story so far
Awww
Omc moar!
So yeah next chapter?
img412.imageshack.us/img412/1262/twilightpsychomeme.png
Rarity Is going to love me........
Me thinks a new chapter is in order
Oh, this is going to be good.
Damn rarity love potion or not that was just mean
2806013
Me thinks so too. My accidental prolonged vacation is over.
Ok, everything's well done, I only have a minor problem.
I dont quite understand what she's saying, or thinking in this matter. But the story's still good either way!