The Sun Horse found me at the verge of death, and through rudimentary communication offered to save me. I should have read the fine print. Now I'm bitter, small, and possess an underdeveloped frontal lobe. Why does she want me to learn 'friendship'?
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You start by saying "I'm sorry" and you go from there.
Kid's getting self conscious enough to realize how screwed up their situation is, good. She might even have a shot at becoming a well-adjusted adult yet!
Good Chapter, but somehow I think the thing about millions and genocide could be something that AJ should have a talk with Twilight and Nemo, but maybe is just something that could become too filler if she began to talk about humanity dark past
You know, it'd probably help if somepony explained precisely what a Nightmare is in this world, and how it's different from a standard run of the mill type of nightmare, despite them both having the same name.
11305630
Anon gonna be getting a full briefing in the next entry.
You know, you can make a dam strong argument to suggest that the Elements of Harmony reprogrammed Luna into the Luna that we all love today. That she was sanitized or brainwashed into an obedient citizen.
And never forget Cadence and that arguing couple that she hit with her spell. As well as the fact that "Our Town" not only knew about the concept of "Reeducation cells" but they routinely used them, and to great effect. There is a lot of real dark possibility in MLP.
Monk
“Winona let out a bark and immediately ran up to Armor and started licking his muzzle, tail wagging like she was promised cake if she did it enough.” -Snakeskin Ducttape
11305750
Yeah, let's hope Anon never finds out about that. That said, I've always been of the opinion that Nightmare Moon [and Rarity by tangent] was the result of possession by parasitic entities that live in the dream world and feed on a victim's doubts and fears.
11305754
I like your story. You have an interesting spin on it. Just be careful not to make him into a neurotic weenie. We have tons of stories about neurotic weenies here. Too many in my opinion.
Monk
“Come into my parlor, Ted. I have cookies!” -Reykan
The last two decades in a nutshell.
11305898
Hey, I feel attacked.
11305771
Honestly?
I think it's less neuroticness and more adult personality with associated tramatic memories with operating on the brainmeats of a child. But I could be wrong, but that's what it seems like to me. THough she's probably got a legit problem with paranoia.
11305902
It's the kind of thing I was aiming for.
11305899
Well, then you are feeling attacked on behalf of "everyone" else.
Nice
11305902
I was warning against it, not saying his character was neurotic.
I was pretty clear what I thought of the story.
Monk
11305899
I don't think you have to worry about that. You actually wrote it rather well. Its pretty clear that there is a hardware/software incompatibility going on in his head. Ive only ever seen this done by one other writer. (Cant remember who) Its an interesting idea.
Monk
"Yes, I will eat the Fear Turkey." -Illua
c.tenor.com/aVpaX9O0Xa0AAAAC/thats-some-funny-shit-thats-funny.gif
I hope we get to see more of the cows! That was hilarious.
(Okay... I am currently impressed with exactly no one here.
'Getting hysterical' is not, in fact, justification for hitting someone. Especially not before trying other methods. Some argument could be made if she'd been trying and nothing else worked, but that she went for that first is actually a big mark against Applejack in my book. Also, she failed at the most basic task of communication. Clarification. If she clarified that 'The Nightmare' was a mind-controlling and corrupting entity, which it WAS if we're going by the comics, Anon would very suddenly have an increased understanding of the situation, and realize that Luna has experience with mental violation and certainly did not wish that.
And Anon panicked and jumped to conclusions. But they've been dumped into another culture. And no, Anon DOESN'T owe Luna an apology, Luna hasn't DONE ANYTHING but invade their mind. Apologies can come after actual talking and Luna shows clear contrition, proving that what others has said is correct, and she did not mean the violation as it was taken. She 'overstepped' to a new species. She did not mean to. It was an accident that can be settled with speaking and apologies, but again, Luna IS the violator here. Whether or not Anon forgives her, much less apologizes her, is entirely their decision.
As for Twilight and Starlight? Yeah, that's fair.
But again, I feel as though Applejack in particular failed here. She had a golden opportunity to clarify the situation and actually explain things, and instead kept it vague, and hit a kid. I mean... 'it wasn't really her fault, but I'm not actually going to tell you why the Nightmare was more than a 'bad dream' just say it was and get offended that you don't immediately understand'? And resort to physical violence before any other option when the person in the body of a CHILD panics? ... Really AJ?
... So yeah, I'm pretty mad at her right now. That was a failure on multiple simultaneous levels.)
Really doesn't seem to be much of a reason to apologize to me. If anything Applejack's reaction makes Luna look pretty bad.
Interesting.~
-Rub
11305993
Ah, I misunderstood then
It happens alot with me
11306556
I agree! I wanted to write the exact same comment.
Though, it's not really a bad thing to be honest. Anon jumping to conclusions so quickly is pretty consistent with how she was portrayed so far. If Luna or Starlight will point out that Anon doesn't really need to apologize, then it could be a nice bittersweet learning moment for her, an opportunity for character development. Most fanfics seem to lack this kind of thing, so I'm really looking forward to the next few chapters.
11305630
Okay we're going with the comic's backstory on the Nightmare forces. Since AJ mentioned it possessing not one but two of her friends that is also mentioning The Nightmare Rarity incident which happened in the comics which also explains the technically canonical backstory of The Nightmare forces. (I'm only saying technically canonical because Nightmare's backstory was never delved into after the opener and even then during the starlight part that was a dream and doesn't go into Nightmare's backstory so the Nightmare forces are still canon even if only just)
11306941
Don't you mean Nemo? It doesn't quite feel right to call him Anon when that name was imposed on him, especially given it was unwelcome.
I don't know if this is intentional or not. But anon looked like the most level-headed adult in this story.
Really? This is where you are going with this story?
Once again Godwin's Law is proven true. Must every human in Equestria story bring up Hitler at some point?
I kinda feel like things would've been better if AJ had explained that Nightmare in this context was a proper noun, i.e. a person/pony, and not the verb. It seems to me that the ponies in this story keep forgetting that Anon/Nemo has literally no cultural or historical context to anything that's going on or being talked about.
I never knew I would see that here
11306407
Yeah I thought twilight would have explained that anon was from far away and had been in Equestria for only a couple of months. Of course it looks like Luna did horrible things because bad dreams because the word has 2 different meanings depending upon how you pronounce it. Naturally anyone who not familiar with the difference is not going know enough to understand that the word has 2 meanings. Applejack let what happened with rarity keep her from trying to understand what anon was saying and clarify what actually happened. Luna didn't take offense and explained everything including the 2 meanings. Because of that and her gift to anon she was able to make a friend with someone who might feel a bit out of place too.
11305750
Yeah they should have hit Celestia as well as Luna because now she is right back where she started in Celestia shadow and Celestia doesn't even try to give her a spotlight.
Isn't she overreacting to this? Luna said hi. Anonfilly then ended the dream. Clearly she was still in control. if anything, this seems like getting an unexpected phone call from somebody then hanging up, and freaking out over how they got your number. Sure, the contact might have been a surprise. But, "hi, nice to meet you, can I help?" isn't exactly sinister, and I'm not sure how Anon is getting from "oh, dreamwalking is a thing" to "therefore brainwashing and mind-control."
Meanwhile, she's observed a couple times now that the changes to her brain and body have altered her thinking, but she doesn't seem bothered by that at all.
11667701
The problem is the mind is very private place and the kid never imagined in a magic world that someone could do that and freaked out. If he had known beforehand he would have handled it better.
Don't mind me. Just fuckin wheezing over here.
Yeah... Just for reference: everything that Luna experienced before her exile in no way justifies the fact that, due to a stupid childish hysteria, she almost destroyed all life on the planet with the help of the “brilliant” idea of eternal night. So I'm completely on Anon's side here. The fact that you were neglected at a certain point in time is not a justification for genocide.
And this is one of the few reasons why ponies annoy me - they have never faced any real challenges in their lives. And even the worst villain in the world was at best criminally irresponsible, but not a real monster. Tirek, Chrysalis, Cozy Glow and Nightmare Moon all pursued their goals by causing pain to those around them. However, they not only did this in the mildest form possible, but most often they did not even notice it. Not just ignored like some psychopath, or enjoyed like a sadist, but simply ignored, believing that their actions would not bring long-term terrible consequences.
11667701
In fact, it was a more than logical reaction. After all, in a dream you can often pull out an extremely personal moment from your past, your fears and dreams. So in relation to a born person it was rude at least from a moral point of view. What follows is a chain of thoughts that would have occurred to me...
Let's be honest, there are no special "children's hormones" that turn you into a frivolous idiot. On the contrary, while you are a child, your hormonal balance is in an almost ideal state and it is at this age that a person is able to make the most informed decisions. The only reason children behave this way is because they haven't lived long enough to really start thinking about "grown-up" things. Or think in principle, but this has little to do with age :)
So... yes. Any normal person would think about brainwashing.
Gotta realize there was a capital N there that Applejack strangely didn't make clear before sending her away.
Also remember this isn't Earth.