• Member Since 13th Jul, 2014

IAmNotSmartest


Well, It's true. I'm not.

Not caught up but interested nonetheless 72 stories
Found 67 stories in 95ms

Total Words: 9,554,356
Estimated Reading: 3 weeks

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  • Featured 23305 stories Stories that have been featured on Fimfiction ( Automatically populated! )


  • Interviews 408 stories Stories that have had their author interviewed


  • Reviewed 0 stories Stories that have been reviewed
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Don't write on two hours of sleep, trust me.

A story with an Anon and the methods he takes to dissuade the Princesses from asking him so many questions about his home and culture. Lacking the basic courtesy of a pony and definitely disregarding their pride in magic, this human drops to lows that are usually seen only in the most disgusting of humans.

Enjoy or not, I had fun writing this and it's more for my sanity than anything.
PS- No actual sex is in this story so calm yourselves.


Professional Reviews

"drunk/10 not bad" –NuclearWaffles21

"I'm seriously rock hard right now." –Rebel

"yeah the 3 children in my basement won't shut the fuck up" –Winter the Gimp

"This is both extremely stupid, and written in such a way that I expect your non-trolly-stories to not be extremely stupid." –bobbananaville

"I don't remember how I found this story, but it was weird, and I liked it." –Narlepoax III

”I like story! Is very good! Now you go to Gulag!” –Joseph Stalin

Chapters (1)
T

When David volunteered to be part of a cryogenic experiment he thought he'd be at the forefront of human technology, spearheading research and development.

Unfortunately politics doesn't work that way.

Lucky for him, the science was solid... For ten thousand years.

AN: Don't take this seriously. Seriously don't. I don't.

Special thanks to my editor: Thornwing!

A-d-d-ditional Tags: Science Fiction, Parody, Waking Up In the Future, Equestria used to be Earth, Parity Bits, Things That Could Be Considered Irrelevant To The Premise And Is Only Used As Humour, Twi-bright, Kangaroos, Towels and Brawndo.

Rated teen for inappropriate scenarios. Well, lots of inappropriate scenarios. Now with 20% more Dark!

List of Side Stories:

The Story of the Equinos and Celestia
Twilight's Report
A Butterfly Bash
The Very Hungry Caterpillar

Unpublished Stories now available here.

I'll also keep the former list I made here:

The Story of the Gorlians and Equestria
Human Manual I
Equine Manual I
Why Emergencies Should Be Handled Calmly
Why Emergencies Should Be Handled Calmly II
Blue Pill
David's Nightmares
Robot Manticore Attack
The First Law
Discordant
A Dated Journal Entry
McQuestria
McQuestria II
To Touch The Stars

Chapters (17)
T
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A freak lightning storm, strange lights, and an unassuming, yet mysterious stone obelisk. What do these things have to do with an average college student from North Tonawanda? At first, nothing. But when nineteen year-old Connor lets his curiosity get the better of him and lands in the center of a cosmic coincidence, he probably should have left well enough alone.

Now he finds himself stranded in an impossible world where magic is real, and "normal" takes on a whole new meaning. A world populated by sentient creatures calling themselves "ponies." A stranger in a strange land, Connor's yearning for answers and a way back to Earth will try both his patience and his sanity in the days following his arrival, even with the support of his new equine friends. But as he witnesses his life slowly spiral out of control, he will call into question his definition of home, humanity, destiny, and what it means to truly belong.

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Rated Teen just in case for occasional swearing. This story takes place shortly after the end of Season 2, and the main character is from an Earth where MLP never existed (in order to preserve proper characterization). Or just assume he's never heard of it, that works too.

The title is not an Evangelion reference, I was just inspired by the wording scheme.

Chapters (23)
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TV TROPES PAGE! Show it the love, people!

Tartarus: the fabled prison said to hold all of the demons of Equus at bay.

Few truly know what lies behind the impenetrable doors Cerberus guards. Some say that it is a pit, infinite in it's depth and darkness, from which there is no return. Other claim it to be a hellish plain, filled with fire and pain and suffering, to punish the demons for their sins.

All of them are wrong.

Tartarus is small. An inescapable cell for a single prisoner. But the tales about it's purpose are not false.

For this captive human holds the key to unleashing upon Equestria forces which have not been seen for centuries, forces which predate Equestria by many an age.

And soon, he shall be free.

EDIT: Featured on 5/25/14! SUH-WEEEEET!

[img]http://i.imgur.com/6MrWqNZ.png[/img]

Chapters (29)
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After a tragic accident, a human ends up in Lord Tirek's body, as part of an attempt to reform the villain after his recent escapades. While the hero of our tale is trying to make sense of his new surroundings, the rest of Equestria thinks that the most terrible threat that their world has ever seen is back...
And the powers that be are definitely not happy about it.
New Cover Art By Shadow Bolt

Chapters (17)
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A machine made for war awakes in a new world. Stuck in surroundings which puzzle it; can it, or will it be able to become something more than what it is?


Crossover with Keith Laumers Bolo-verse
Other tags include : Slice of Life, Possible Romance believe it or not! And a bit of humor.
Please beware of any spoilers in comments as well :pinkiehappy:

Chapters (159)
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Vaati the Wind Mage has grown bored with the whole villain thing. He's trapped himself in a cycle doomed to repeat itself forever. Seeking a way to escape this miserable cycle of escape, kidnapping, and defeat, the legendary sorcerer inadvertantly teleports himself to another world entirely; a world populated by talking magical ponies who believe friendship is magic. Just how will the former villain survive this sugar bowl of a world? Will he end up learning a few lessons in friendship himself? One thing's for sure, retirement has never been this exciting.

AUTHOR NOTE: This story takes place in an episodic format. That is, it follows the style of the show in that every chapter is an 'episode', hence why they will all be lengthy. Some episodes will be canon ones with Vaati along for the ride, and others will be original where Vaati takes center-stage. The first episode takes place shortly after 'Griffon the Brush-Off'. Vaati is from Legend of Zelda and is property of Nintendo. You already know who owns FiM.

Chapters (18)
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Given the successful befriending of Discord, Princess Celestia deems that no longer will villains be defeated but instead reformed. While most have the chance to submit willingly or continue to fight, King Sombra is given little option. Brought back from the dead and stripped of all his powers and strength, it's all become a game of futility. Now Sombra only wishes he could have stayed dead all along.

Edited by spigo.

Chapters (24)
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Humans.

Truth or myth? Ancient lost civilization or just an old pony's tale?

No pony has ever seen one, and most haven't even heard of them. But Lyra knows that these wonderful creatures are more than just old legends, and she's going to find out... and possibly drive her roommate insane in the process.

Chapters (31)
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This story is a sequel to Headless, not Heartless


Okay, taking it from the top.
Hi, I'm Auric Fulcrum, also known as Frank DeFontaine. For about 1,500 years, I wasn't alive. I instead inhabited my Dullahan costume as a spirit because of my sword, which also brought me to Equestria. Once I got here, after a few years of back and forth, Sunbutt imprisoned me because of a minor misunderstanding.
I heard that!
You were meant to!
Anyways, once I got out, I learned that the Wise One was coming to this reality, so I did what came natural to me.
I sought out the power of the Golden Sun and used it to defeat him so utterly I would never have to worry about him again.
Problem was, the energies that bound me together and the power of the Sun conflicted, so my armor fell apart. And without the armor, I was unbound, unfocused.
I came to a week later in the same basement I had been imprisoned, in my old body, but with a few...upgrades. Like Alchemy being a Thing I can Do.
Now that I'm alive again, my to-do list is radically different, but no less daunting.
For starters, how am I supposed to stop a mountain from sinking into the earth?!

Chapters (19)