Once Celestia had calmed down and Twilight had her fill of driving her crazy for the moment (which wasn't until they'd returned to the Ponyville library), Twilight gave the full story of what happened in the other world. Celestia...was not entirely approving, but Twilight could care less given she ran a successful universe in all but name. It was in the midst of the story that a nearby closet flared to light, and Nefarious stumbled out in his pony form. "Safe!" he called out happily.
"I think some introductions are in order," Twilight spoke up as she walked up to his side. "Nefarious, these are my friends of Equestria - Fluttershy-"
"Miss Disney," Nefarious concluded, making Fluttershy blink in shock.
"-Rainbow Dash-"
"Not much imagination on name, there," Nefarious jibed playfully.
"-Rarity-"
"Miss trying too hard," Nefarious teased, making Rarity lift her nose with an offended 'Hmph!'
"-Pinkie Pie-"
"The one that makes us look almost sane," Nefarious whispered as he hid behind Twilight.
"-and Applejack-"
"Can I drink her?" Nefarious asked eagerly.
"Say wut?" Applejack demanded, her eyes wide as she backed away slowly.
"Nefarious, behave!" Twilight snapped, smacking him in the back of his dome with a wing. She then continued her introductions. "This is Princess Celestia-"
"The one the bad guys try to kidnap to fight heroes, only to meet plumbers?" Nefarious quipped. "I read that message between you and Lawrence, you know."
"...I feel like I'm missing something," Celestia observed mildly. "Though at this point, I think I'm used to it." She reached for her tea.
"-Princess Luna-" Twilight continued, ignoring Nefarious' jibe.
"The awesome sister," Nefarious stated firmly.
"...my...thanks?" Luna offered nervously as Celestia pouted.
"-my old foal-sitter and sister-in-law, Princess Cadence-"
"Miss even-more-Disney," Nefarious interpreted. Cadence only giggled in response.
"-my BBBFF, Shining Armor-"
"Wow, not even trying to be subtle there," Nefarious observed.
"I...don't know how to respond to that," Shining observed, blinking.
"-and Spike."
"Mr. Underleveled," Nefarious concluded.
"I'm half Twilight's age, what's your excuse?" Spike countered quickly.
"Ooh, snarky!" Nefarious purred. "I like him!"
Twilight sighed, rolling her eyes. "Everyone, this is my boyfriend, Dr. Nefarious."
While most listening plainly weren't certain how to react, Rainbow Dash burst into laughter. "What'sa matter, Twi? Couldn't find yourself a boyfriend so you built one?"
"Hey!" Nefarious snapped angrily. "Twilight did not build me! My robotic form is the result of my genius in discovering a way to completely convert the biological to the robotic without neurological degredation or rejection!"
Luna's eyes widened in response. This seemed quite...intriguing.
"Yeah!" Twilight added. "The only part of him I built was his penis!"
Celestia promptly spat her tea all over Rarity's fainting couch. Rarity decided to faint dramatically another time, especially since Fluttershy had fainted for real.
"Twilight!" Nefarious grumbled. "Do you have to keep bringing that up?"
"What?" Twilight complained. "I thought you'd be proud of what a good job I did on yours. I mean, it's not every stallion whose pride can change shape and vibrate for added stimulation-"
"Woof," Cadence muttered under her breath, fanning herself as Rarity decided to faint dramatically on one of Twilight's couches. Noticing Shining's ears go flat, Cadence chuckled. "Now Shiny, dear, you know you don't need to be jealous."
"It's more I'm not sure I like someone who just screams 'I am a villain' in all but vocals dating my little sister," Shining grumbled.
"I AM A VILLAIN!" Nefarious screamed at the top of his cybernetic lungs, making Twilight facehoof. "Does that help, Knight boy?"
Shining snorted angrily. "Now listen here, I may not know everything about what she's been through, but she's still my sister! If you hurt her-"
"Clank's going to take whatever's left of me when she's through and rip it to pieces in the time vortex of the Great Clock to maximize how much he's able to make me suffer before my very essence degrades from excessive quantum strain," Nefarious interrupted. "Go ahead. Try and trump that intimidation."
"Uh...I...er..." Shining finally capitulated. "Dammit..."
Cadence chuckled indulgently. "Well, you must have made quite the impression on Twilight to have such a strong bond. How did you manage that?"
"Well, when I first expressed romantic interest in her, she said yes mostly because I was the only one outside family who she didn't have to dumb herself down to have a normal conversation with who would treat her like a fellow sophont, rather than some sort of divine being," Nefarious explained. "Comes with us being two of the three smartest sophonts in the known universe."
"Why did she not date the third?" Luna asked curiously.
"That'd be Vendra Prog," Twilight explained. "She was a villain too, but she's since been rehabilitated and is a member of Dad's harem, and Nefarious' adopted daughter."
"Spike, tell me there's some hard cider somewhere here I haven't drunk yet?" Celestia pleaded.
"Anyway, once the date had been agreed upon, I wanted to make it really special since I'd learned about some of the hard things she'd been through," Nefarious explained. "Qwark told me one thing that had long haunted her was the feeling she was the only one of her kind, so I started the date by showing her this." He tapped his equine physique. "Normally I'm bipedal, but I added a function to transform into an equine like her, complete with wings and horn, but a stallion, so she wouldn't feel alone that night. Also built a robo-pegasus-drawn carriage to take us to a castle I built on the side of the mountain for ballroom dancing." He glanced out the window. "Looks a lot like that place over there, but without the hanger-on houses," he said, pointing to Canterlot in the distance. "After that, we went to the dinner reservations I got for us at a fancy restaurant."
"...altered your entire physique to give her comfort, and built an entire fairy-tale castle just to try and give her a piece of a home she didn't remember at the time?" Cadence clarified. She rounded on Shining Armor. "Shiny, don't you dare try to get between them!"
"Hey, anyone who goes that far to try and make my LSBFF happy is alright in my book!" Shining Armor offered defensively. He offered a hoof to Nefarious. "Welcome to the family. Good luck keeping your sanity."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Twilight demanded irritably.
"That he knows you?" Nefarious offered teasingly as he accepted the hoof-bump. "No worries about that though, Knight-boy. I was insane long before I met Twilight."
"Though if part of you getting together was because you were both so intelligent and creative, I imagine things in the bedroom are quite...interesting?" Cadence asked carefully. "I mean, especially with the Villain-Princess dynamic."
"Well, there was that one time we traumatized Cthulhu," Nefarious began, ready to relate details of a particularly exciting interlude between the pair.
"Oh great Earth Mother, swallow me now so I don't have to hear this!" Celestia prayed fervently.
The floor of the library ripped open beneath Celestia and Luna, and black, thorny vines wrapped around them and dragged them into the ground before closing around them.
"...well that was convenient," Pinkie Pie observed playfully.
If she hasn't already, Celestia is extremely close to snapping
This to is Discords fault oh wait that's not hyperbole the plunder vines are Discord's fault!
Dammit Tats, stop making me laugh! It hurts!
"Oh great Earth Mother, swallow me now so I don't have to hear this!" Celestia prayed fervently.
The floor of the library ripped open beneath Celestia and Luna, and black, thorny vines wrapped around them and dragged them into the ground before closing around them.
"...well that was convenient," Pinkie Pie observed playfully.
lol nice timing with the plunder vines and sorta granted Tia's wish lol
*groan* getting a little tired of those jokes, no matter how justified they sometimes are...
Please: like I need to make something up to make myself any MORE awesome...
(wait: that actually is something Rainbow likely WOULD say...)i0.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/011/848/cold.jpg
what's scary is that he's not entirely wrong...
my thoughts exactly, AJ...
I can't make a joke: this is funny on it's own...
1) Luna: I realize that you're not used to praise, but it wouldn't hurt to accept a complement when you get one...
2) Celestia: calm down: it's not like he's wrong, Miss Nearly-Killed-Her-Own-Student
question: how and why does Cadence know what Disney is?
neither do I...
*edited: 3/1/2017*
...and thus begins the bonding between...actually, would Spike count as the future brother-in-law or step-son in this scenario?
actually, I think it's just the Season 4 opener feeling the need to help enact Murphy's Law...
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHEHEHWHEHEHEHEHWWWEWEEEEAHHAAAAAHHAHAHHAHHWWWWEEEEEHHEHHEHHWHWWEEEEEHEHEHEHEEEEEE!!!!!
Help me! Can't stop laughing!
Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
Couldn't stop laughing, started coughing, then started to wheeze. Fuck asthma when it ruins the enjoyment of genuine hilarity.
nice work
Ok, I have not read this yet, but the title looks like a romance title at first glance
Ah the tentacles hath arrived
... But that wasn't Cthulhu. That was a Shoggoth at best... Cthulhu is hundreds of feet tall, and looks like a Human-Octopus-Dragon Hybrid.
Yes! You included the joke!
And that one's even better!
Cadance, you need to be careful about indirectly insulting a male's pride.
Sorry Shining, the mother (even a male one) is always scarier than the older brother.
Oh boy, I wonder how this will turn out. Twilight, Nefarious, do not damage the Tree of Harmony!
I imagine that, by the end of this story, Celestia will be an alcoholic. Cause all of this is too much on her sanity.
A reference to Another Hatchling, perhaps?
I think by the end of this Celestia will just hand power over to Twilight and go seek professional counseling. Then at least Luna will be free of her sisters shadow.
Probably season 4 start
it's not every stallion who's pride can change
1. Whose.
Cute mini story Tats. Still trying to figure out what the hearth scene could mean.
the ending will probably involve Celestia obliterating the doors to a bar, lugging in a large chest of bits and with a stress filled call of...
Celestia: Barkeep! your strongest and lots of it!
Thirty bits on Tia going Supernova on the vines trapping her as soon as she's coherient enough to realize what's going on. She's way, Way stressed out right now due to Twilight's ribing on top of everything else going on around her, and this may just be what pushes her over the edge to finding her own Nightmare form...
To be honest, I think Twi might be laying it on with a bricklayer's trowel at this point... Toning it back once they take care of the vines might be advisable.
..... can I buy all the cider before tia dose?
The last part with Celestia's lament followed by the vines was hilarious!
Also, I like Nefarious' respective burns for the ponies (and dragon) he's introduced to
7847169 It's not a romance story; look at the tags. And the story description.
7847169 It's a romantic crossover with ratchet & clank and My little Pony. It's mostly a comedy though with Twilight being Friggin over powered like a GD.
7847180
Shrink ray.
7847670
It's not a romance. There are romantic elements at various points in the story, but the story itself isn't a romance.
Senpai let other people know he noticed me.
I--It's not like I asked for that! ...Baka...
I hope you...like it. I guess... Not that I care! At all!
...
But in all seriousness, I was wondering why that gdoc was suddenly getting comments/suggestions.
7847525
I assume you mean the clockwork robot climbing through the fireplace? It was supposed to be a reference to Doctor Who, the fake time-whimy fireplace episode with the clockwork looking robots. I just kinda threw in whatever I felt like. It didn't mean anything when I put it there, but, I mean, Tats could run with it, I guess.
I don't sound excited, but I am.
wait what they trumatized a being that induces madness
7847688 Yea figured I'd have had the bias of the latest chapter on my mind when I was answering the other persons comment, but the chapter was way to hilarious to ignore. also Loving how the story is progressing.
Back in the beginning of this amazing story... I'm still waiting for this to happen...
DAMN STRAIGHT!!!
Nice. Now go make him a jetpack so he can fly and some armor to protect him so he can get the chance to level grind.
Twilight is way to proud of that achievement in engineering.
Well, now Twilight get to meet the Tree of Harmony and the Box. How many ways will she try to get it to open on her own and with Nefarious's help??? And how long will it take her to make Tirek scream like a little bitch and run away???
7847766 Well, there might be a Changeling invasion she can do it to.
7847976 Tirek? I calculate a time of 2.7 seconds after the first trigger pull.
Another enjoyable chapter. Good job.
Nefarious: "You do realize that I was joking when I referred to your former mentor as being frequently kidnapped, right?"
Twilight: "Of course I do. If it had been you, you would have kidnapped my Sister-in-Law as well, since all three of Equestria's Princesses were here at once."
Nefarious: "Exactly!"
Twilight: "You know what we have to do now, right?"
Nefarious: "Kidnap your Sister-in-Law, locate and secure the other two Princesses, and set up an elaborate base full of traps, obstacles, and disposable minions to give your BBBFF a chance to be a hero?"
Shining Armor: "What?"
Twilight: "That... Wasn't what I had in mind, but what the heck. Let's do it! I'll just send a message to my other BBBFF so they can do it as a family bonding exercise!"
Shining Armor: "What!?"
Nefarious *turning towards Princess Cadence and bowing deeply*: "Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, I cordially extend my invitation to be kidnapped so that your husband and Brother-in-Law may engage in a grand adventure of family bonding and rescue! do you accept?"
Cadence *giggling*: "I graciously accept your invitation."
Shining Armor: "Cadence!? Why!?"
Cadence *rolls her eyes*: "Shiny, it's not like they'll hurt me or anything. We're family! Besides, this way I can help them kidnap Celestia and Luna from whoever the first kidnaper is. I mean, kidnapping princesses with tentacles covered in spikes? Who does that! At least Twilight's boyfriend has class!"
Nefarious: "Thank you. I do try."
Spike: "Um... If you kidnap Rarity, can I be on the hero side?"
Nefarious: "Is Rarity a Princess? This is a Princess Only kidnapping."
Spike: "She is to me."
Rarity: "Oh my!"
Nefarious *nods*: "Good answer. Well, Princess Rarity, would you like to accept the invitation as well? You and the other princesses will he held in the most lavish and luxurious cells I can provide!"
Rarity: "Well, with an invitation like that, how could I say no? Very well, I accept!"
Twilight: "Okay, the Hero Team is Captain Quark, Captain Shining Armor, and Spike. Hmmm, with four princesses to rescue, you guys might want to pick a fourth member to balance things out."
Spike: "Who do you suggest?"
Twilight: "I recommend that you pick someone who brings something unique to the team. Between my BBBFFs and you, you already have strength, magic, and fire, so you might want somepony who has a different ability."
Spike: "How about Pinkie Pie?"
Rainbow Dash: "WHAT!? Why not me!? I'm the fastest flyer in Equestria!"
Spike: "Fair point, but can you think of anypony else that can do what Pinkie Pie does?"
7848018 Yeah, that's just long enough for the thought, "What are these strange things she's pointing at me????" to go through his head before his world is filled with pain.
7848111
Okay, this is so amazing I regret that the plot already planned out doesn't allow for it.
7848188
You could use it as some omakes at the end of the next few chapters if you want to use Tangent's suggestion.
7840842 Huh, first time I've heard of it. Alright.
Really Celly? Be careful what you ask for....
7848188 I feel your pain. Now. WHY HAS KEN NOT WRITTEN A STORY THAT MADE THE FEATURED BOX?!?!?!
7848113 Or Spike gets upgrades and does something.
7847688 But... you described it as a "mass of tentacles", which isn't Cthulhu at all. Even with a Shrink Ray, that's far more likely to be Shub-Niggurath, or Nyarlathotep, or something... Eh, fuck it. I'm one of the few people that actually knows Lovecraftian lore it seems...
Twilight and the elements. I see a superweapon.
7848188 could always make it an omake
7848650
Now that I would like to see.
7848188
That's okay. I would have been surprised if it did. This one was intended to be an unlikely Alt script.
Or you could have something similar happen between adventures as a sort of "recreational kidnapping."
Guard: "Captain Armor, Sir! The Princesses have been kidnapped again!"
Shining Armor: "Let me guess - the note says that they are being held at the Ponyville Dayspa."
Guard: "How did you know, Sir?"
Shining Armor: "It's the third time this month. And last month they were taken to Las Pegasus for a week."
7848859
Now that I'm going to use!
...Miss Fluttershy Disney... Has a certain ring to it actually.
7848597 i tried Lovecraft lore but i couldn't, Kudos to if you can follow it it's to much for me
7848961
do please use tangents alternate I love it
7848597 There there.... It'll all look the same when R'lyeh rises... Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
VIIIIINESSS!
YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO KIDNAP THE PRINCESSES, UNTIL NEXT MONTH'S TUSDAY!!!!