Twiluna Fan(clop?)fic. Twi and Luna magically bound to each other. Gryphons massing at the borders. Chrysalis trying to get back into Equestria. Discord being Discord. Canterlot Nobles trying to tear Princess Twi's authority apart. YAY!
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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great chapter as always,
why do I feel like twilight going to get shit face when they get back,
also it seem like the whole world, and outer world are try to cause twilight, luna and celeita to have heart attack or stroke at the very less.
Bah. Eighteen attempts to fix some colour issues in this and still no joy. It is midnight, I am going to bed.
Hope the chapter meets your expectations, and Twilight gets an insight into just how deep and complex the rabbit hole she never wanted to jump into actually is.
7646942 I guessing a 1000 years worth, I say when everything is done the year is over she need to kick back and take a break for next year
Eh... I still don't really like the way the story is going lately. Now not only is Twilight being forced to kowtow to the sisters, but now she is being browbeaten to accept these nebelous 'powers' as word of god and infallable. Out of anything in this chapter, what I liked was when Twilight was upset for Luna not knowing herself and how it implied that she wouldn't take such change and questions lying down. So of course I was saddened when that was almost immediately countered with more status-quo detritus.
7654674 I think it's safe to say twilight will spend a lot of effort exploring Luna's tail.
Innuendo aside I seriously doubt Twilight is going to let the powers thing go. I can see her working with Luna to explore both there abilities once she ascends.
I sense a very, very silly drunk scene with Twilight coming up.
7655489
"WE ARE THE POWERS, WE ARE ETERNAL, ALL POWERFUL, YOU WILL- WAIT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? STOP THAT! UH, PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!"
I for one want to see twi build a ponies version of the star wars program.
7656203 Oh, I envision much shenanigans for when Twilight Ascends and actually comes face to cosmic-existence-too-large-for-the-mortal-mind-to-grasp with the Powers.
Also, a line has been crossed here. Twilight may be willing to accept being personally rooster-blocked by the other Princesses, but actual, physical harm that could potentially harm her friends? That slow build-up to the moment Twilight starts to push boundaries has reached the boiling point.
7655536 You have no concept.
7654674 that is the fun part! Honestly think she is going to stay on the back burner long? Soo much stress happening lately, world views broken, and now getting drunk? I bet strap in and watch the chaos!
I am laughing the most at Chrysalis' situation. Now that she isn't about to cack it at any time her sassy levels are getting back to normal
The only thing I can think of is, "There's always a bigger fish." Saying that now, a scene popped into my head of a Lovecraftian horror just appearing in Celestia's court room, wearing a suit, and telling her, Luna, and the Powers to chill the fuck out. He starts talking about how his little piece of Multi-verse is starting to 'leak out' into other multi-verses nearby and to make a long story short his neighbors are pissed. Then Celestia starts freaking out Twilight style and Luna goes to get the liquor.
... Why am I always in a writing mood when I'm tired? Sorry, I'm just going to the next chapter now.
This is insanely wordy, a Great Wall of text; and you should rewrite it to be less wordy, something like how the powers are beyond mortal comprehension and can exist everywhere at once.
In fact, the whole chapter at the end dealing with Twilight and Luna is so wall of text that it brings down the story, world-building or no. There’s a lot of run-on sentences, and then your text coloring to clarify who’s thinking/talking gets broken in many places and it even more immersion-breaking.
Might I suggest that you reread through this chapter and try greatly shrinking down all this dialogue, or at least add periods as necessary?