Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Dear diary,
Twilight offered to be my private tutor for the Wonderbolts History test. So after showing up to the library, and avoiding her sexual advances for an hour, we began the actual studying. It didn't work out. Not even her favorite method of studying, flash cards. Maybe because 'cards' wasn't the flash she was interested in studying, if you know what I mean.
We were getting nowhere. In fact, I was so confident in Twilight's inability to help me learn this stuff, that I promised her sex if she could find a way to make it stick.
When they dressed up as the great Wonderbolts of the past, the only thing missing was Pony Loggins music. Not only that, but Fluttershy can put together a fantastic Celestia cosplay. Thanks, Magnificent Alicorn Leader.
So it turns out that I retain information while I'm just flying around. That gives me a great idea. I'll open a new school! I wonder how many potential students will end up applying to Airhead University.
-Rainbow Dash
Dear Rainbow Dash,
Passed, huh? 100? So, guess what you owe me? That's right. Be over here at 9:00. I'll knock some off of your damaged book fees if you bring a ruler and whipped cream. We'll be doing student-teacher discipline role play.
-Twilight
Dear Pinkie Pie,
You can't spell crap without rap.
-Twilight
Dear Twilight,
You can't spell Twilight without bitch-ass ho.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to Sugarcube Corner to make some vanilla-flavored ice cubes.
You can't see me.
-Pinkie
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PINKIEWINSLOL
I'll bet I know what that's a reference to.
Quick, fast, funny, and Equestria is sponsored by the WWE.
Also.............................................Twilight's getting some tonight,
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I just thought it was weird how RD turns into Fetlock Holmes when in the air.
The teacher-student role play was absolutely predictable and the first thing that came into my mind as well. Is it less funny because of this? Certainly not Well done, sir, well done
Pinkie then trotted off, humming to herself (what everypony thought was) Under Pressure.
That cracked me up.
So apparently Rainbow Dash keeps track of and retains every single piece of information around her while she flies... with highly acute hearing and sight... to stay safe in the skies. Am I the only one who flashed back to seasons one and two? You know, when Rainbow frequently crashed into stuff and screwed up her aerial stunts for the sake of slapstick or, in the case of May the Best Pet Win and Read It and Weep, as a plot driver? I guess it shows that she's become that much better a flyer in the past four seasons.
IT'S BEEN FEATURED!!!
I knew you would do something like this.
FTFY
4187370
I think it's because she's flying in a similar manner of "walking" instead of racing or going fast like she normally does, that makes her crash into stuff. Though that is an interesting contradiction.
Yo man, we outta here. Word to your mother.
4187784
That's one possible explanation. But if you look back through seasons three and four, you don't really see Rainbow screwing up a trick or crashing that much anymore (the only instance I can think of is in Games Ponies Play). Compare that to season one's Suited for Success (Rainbow crashes through Rarity's roof, sort of sets off the plot of the episode), the first episode (her crash-into-hello with Twilight), season two's May the Best Pet Win (triggers that rockslide), or Read It and Weep (she ends up in the hospital, discovers reading). I would like to think (and this episode supports the notion) that Rainbow Dash has improved substantially as a flyer over the last few years.
You can't see me
uh, yeah I can
T_T you're not getting any vanilla flavored ice cubes, bitch
4188253
That's a good thought, especially since she really did improve since those times, but just because she improved doesn't mean she isn't prone to making those mistakes anymore. It's such a less of a chance of that happening.
I'm sure those Ice Cubes will be Cool as Ice starring Vanilla Ice.
Dear Pinkie Pie,
It's amazing how living on an earth pony farm has ruined your spelling. Says a lot about your race.
Your
about to get laidprincess,Twilight Sparkle
I... wouldn't mind seeing this actually. Even if it is bitch Twilight.
Where can I apply? This is the school for me.
Dear Rainbow Dash:
If you needed to study, you should have just come to my
dungeonstudy room. I have a "Flash" there who could probably help you studyYour future teacher, Princess Celestia.
P.S.: Don't worry about bringing Whipped Cream or rulers. I have plenty here
John Cena MotherBuckers!!!!!!!! xD Notorius P.I.E
4187370
4188253
I think the problem that arose in those situations is that Rainbow was trying to perform a trick. She was drawing on that memory, trying to make her body move in the same way the Wonderbolts did. But memory does not translate to muscle memory. She likely fucked up and crashed as a result.
God damnit John Cena.
Now I want to eat Fruity Pebbles.
Yesterday the episode and the new Captain America movie made me happy, then I got sad when the Wisconsin Badgers lost in the Final Four. Why me?
Dear Applejack,
I dare you to insult my dresses one more time Celestia damnit, because I swear to all that's holy, I will make you into one.
Watch your back,
Rarity
Okay, I just gotta know, who else LOLed during Pinkie's rap?
4192530 Me and my watching party (varies from 3-5 others) just stared in disbelief.
I can (vaguely) understand why Twilight would know about the history of the Wonderbolts. But is anyone questioning why Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Applejack know their history well enough to put on a play, write a rap, design historically accurate costumes, and... actually, I don't think Applejack knew a damn thing about the Wonderbolts. But she probably knows which kinds of apples make the best aphrodisiacs and can probably tell you why you should never bring any of them within fifty feet of Twilight.
Brilliant. Just absolutely brilliant
I like the Vanilla Ice reference with Pinkie.
Pinkie used insult. Twilight suffered a BURN
4192999
Twilight told them.
I think...
Nice 2pac reference.
purple Smart will finally get some after what, 3 years?
Oh my god, best chapter in weeks. Most excellent!
4192530
For me it was less of a 'lol' and more of a 'dafaq'.
You can't spell Twilight without bitch ass ho yeah I said it slow just to let you know. Twi rolls over when I tell her though. Don't believe me? Look I'm gonna show let's play fetch look there's your bro, just cause you got wings don't make you full grown. You can't stand up to a pro so get low and bow down to the sugar cube flow. -Pink E Pie
Wait... So we don't get to see... ZE MAGIC?!
4187586
It's the perfect song!
4192530
My first thought was actually her singing...
Well, THAT'S gonna come back and bite her in the ass.
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/298/073/68e.png
4187138
Wait, what was the "You can't see me" thing?
Pinkamena "Fruity Pebbles" Pie
Twilight, be sure to take lots of pictures and post them on Derpibooru with the tag Twidash so we can find them easily.
Well, would you look at that, you already did.
KBO.
4188489
In only one of those cases was she unaware of things around her - the crash in the canyon. And IIRC, that was because she took a moment to send her eyes backwards. I don't care how attentive you are, if you're not looking where you're going, you'll miss it. Every other time, she crashed because she was pushing the envelope of what she could do.
Sure, she may have gotten better, but she could have already been good at this.
Super Cena?! I expected better from Pinkie. Lemme guess, she got a degree on thuganomics and lady parts... wait... she actually does have lady parts.
Anyways, BOOOOOOOOOO!!!
CENA SUCKS!!!
Those aren't ice cubes...
Am I the only one that noticed Pinkie was dressed as Flava-Flav, or however you spell his name? I mean, she was even wearing the clock.