Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
FOAL FREE PRESS
TWILIGHT TAKES CELESTIA TO COURT OVER CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS SCANDAL
Former Princess Celestia has been summoned to Canterlot Royal Court this morning to answer for removing boxes of classified documents at the end of her millennium-long reign.
"Celestia is acting like any sensitive material she takes from the castle with her is automatically declassified. That is simply not the case, and she has to answer for her crimes." Princess Twilight Sparkle claimed at a press conference.
Celestia has put out an official response:
"Just because Princess Twilight says something is classified doesn't make it so; there's procedures to classifying something. I merely just took all the smut out of the Canterlot Castle Royal Library on my way out, because I knew if I didn't, nothing would get done when Twilight took over."
We here at the Foal Free Press are currently trying to think up any possible cons to Princess Twilight's court not getting anything done.
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At least she didn't store them in a fucking bathroom.
assets2.cbsnewsstatic.com/hub/i/r/2023/06/09/c48a631f-b2d2-4722-bc18-6c8665d121d4/thumbnail/640x562/b1ecf1a04dac2a2214a3b96658920b04/ap23160668523595.jpg
: "You bitch."
: "You bitch! You realize Twilight's a serial sexual predator, right? That smut was the only thing keeping her from going after everypony in Equestria!"
11610164 Or in a garage next to the Corvette.
11610164
Isn't that where Twilight actually gets...no, wait. No, she doesn't. Never mind.
You left out the parts where Celestia kept them in a dirty bathroom at Mare-A-Lago... and the part where she was recorded talking to a reporter about how the reporter shouldn't look at this classified document she had, but wasn't supposed to have because she didn't declassify it.
Also Prince Blueblood got paid 2 million bits by Saudi Aneighbia for apparently nothing and some of those classified documents are still missing but I'm sure that's a coincidence.
In other news when Celestia went to lunch she declared she would pay for all meals being eaten but then she left without even paying for her own.
11610164 11610265 11611673
So does Twilight have the power to classify porn just by thinking about it, or does Celestia still have the power to declassify it just by thinking about it?
11613245 There's a process to classification, I'm sure. I'm not sure what it would be, but there likely is one. As for Celestia declassifying it. . . There really isn't a formal defined procedure, aside from a Princess having the sole authority on it, and so as long as what she has was claimed when Celestia was in power. If she took classified documents before she was in power as Princess, that would be criminal and should be appropriately punished.
11478313
The problem with criticism is that most people think it is just ranting wildly.