Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Hearthbreakers
Dear Diary,
So the Pie family works on a rock farm, eats rock soup for Hearth's Warming Eve dinner, and gives each other rocks as presents.
Gee, I wonder what kind of music they like...
And yeah, we tried to force our traditions on them. Duh! How do you think Celestianity spread across the world?
-AJ
Dear Bic Mac and Marble Pie,
I've noticed that all you two really say is "Mmhmm" and "Eeyup".
I'd like to introduce you to some rednecks who hang out by the fence and drink beer all day.
Sincerely,
Limestone Pie
P.S. No fucking on Holder's Boulder!
Dear Maud,
What was with Boulder at the dinner table? Are you trying to turn him into a cannibal?
-Pinkie
Page generated in 0.042 seconds
Total duration
649 users online
1,002,239 hits today, 2,130,388 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
To be fair to the second one, the first one was just one party, the second was completely overhauling the damn place. As for what music they like, they like Country music, what else are they gonna like?
Hahaha.
Celestianity FTW
6648600 I honestly can't tell if that's a serious question or if you missed the joke.
6648606
No, I got the joke. I'm being silly.
Celestianity is now my new religion.
6648608 Okie dokie, lol
Limestone's PS made me laugh way too much.
That second picture always bugs me. Context is important, dang it. There's a difference between your daughter discovering her world-distorting abilities and effectively inventing the concept of celebration and some random mare trampling all over your treasured traditions.
Sorry, just needed to get that out of my system. Now then:
To Our subjects Igneous Rock Pie and Cloudy Quartz,
We are pleased to learn that some parts of Our Realm retain sensible linguistic conventions. We would be honored if you allowed Us to visit your fair homestead, that We may again speak Equish as it was meant to be spoken without other ponies looking at Us as though We were the fool of some mummers' play.
With utmost sincerity and eagerness,
HRH Princess Luna
Dear Marble Pie,
Try and steal my stallion? I'll cut a bitch.
-Cheerilee
Dear Cheerilee,
Mmhmm.
-Pinkie Pie translation: You can try, we have plenty of places to hide the body.
-Marble Pie
Dear Big Mac,
Well if Pinkie is not our cousin there's definitely a way to solve it now.
Delighted,
Granny Smith
-----------------
Dear Holder's Boulder
You Single?
Sincerely,
Tom
-------------------
Dear Tom,
STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE!!!
Mad,
Boulder
I guess it's a bit late for that, eh Limestone?
Music? They're Puritans. It's probably banned along with dancing, sports, art, and other frivolous activities.
Equestria world would be worshipping Ba'al like the zebras do if Celestianity didn't spread.
Ha!
He's hungry. And he's not going to eat plants like some mangy animal.
So, Holder's Boulder was found in a dragon's next/lair/den? It's shaped like an egg, and Limestone doesn't want people messing around with it? Sounds like a dragon's egg to me. I was waiting for you to say something about it Sir Author.
I cracked up at the King of the Hill reference
Dear Limestone,
The thought hadn't crossed my mind - on paper there's nothing appealing about having sex on top of a hard rock with no flat surfaces. But since you made a point of it, obviously there's something I'm missing.
IOU some bleach for your boulder.
Eeyup.
-Mac
There actually is such a thing as rock soup, and its actually pretty good.
Dear Applejack Off,
Did you forget that ponies already tried to bring religion to Ponyville? It did not end well.
Me, I am a Twilatheist. I do not believe in the divinity of Celestia. To me, she is just an old hag that has outlived her usefulness. That coat of hers used to be pink. With age, it has lost its color. Hell, she has dyed her mane so often, she cannot remember which color she dyed it last, so she uses them all at the same time. She is not fooling anyone. Well, she is fooling you, and 2.2 billion other ponies.
Signed Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's loyal slave and faithful acolyte,
Neko Majin C.
~KBO.
6648609 And mine!
6651853 Yeah, you're probably right. Ponies probably wouldn't know that much about space anyway.
Thanks for your feedback.
"How do you think Celestianity spread across the world?"
Actually, they adopted the window dressing and secondary traditions of the flutter ponies and other tribes to make the transition to Celestianity easier.
What was with Boulder at the dinner table? Are you trying to turn him into a cannibal?
Heh.
I think Pinkie Pie wasn't undermining something already in place. It was a void she filled.
No rage letter from Cheerilee?
6650676
Yeah, you're being fooled by a young purple pony instead.
6657341 Not at all. It is just that my eyes have been opened. Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle is the future of Equestria. And when you bet on the ponies, you put your money on the winning horse.
Wow, this show really rocks
what? no I'm not trying to make a joke, this show is just good, sheesh
6649471
like partying?
Noice.