Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Griffon the Brushoff
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today, I learned a few things. One, Pinkie is not just a drug addict, but also an annoying, pranking bitch. I was working on a formula designed to increase the intensity of orgasms, when they swapped my ink with disappearing ink, and thus my recipe was lost. Just fucking great.
I've also learned that inter-species breeding is indeed possible, as Rainbow introduced a friend that must be the result of a lion fucking an eagle or something. She's not bad. I mean, she got easily pissed at Pinkie, so she's gotta be right in the head. She even taught that weak-willed Fluttershy a lesson when she wouldn't get out of her damn way. Who leads baby ducks right down the center of main street anyway?
So after Gilda sent her hippie drug candy cane helicopter spinning out of control, Pinkie came to me to complain. Why the hell would she think that I want to hear her jealous ranting? I encouraged her to get professional help for her addiction, but she just left all huffy, claiming she could quit anytime she wanted.
In what must have been another drug-fueled high, Pinkie decided she would get revenge by throwing her a party. With even more pranks. So, um, yeah, basically the most cold-hearted, annoying revenge ever.
As expected, Pinkie acted all innocent through the pranks, as Gilda got more and more pissed. And when she finally snapped, Rainbow revealed that it was her! Pinkie was just the one that threw the party. Someone bullies you and wrecks your helicopter. So throw them a party.
Yeah, like I said. Drugs.
And I think Rainbow could totally form an indie rock band or something.
Your former, non-druggie student,
Twilight Sparkle
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These keep getting better and better, can't wait to read the next one!! X3
Mucho lulz, my good vulpine sir.
*Head explodes* This is perhaps the most hilarious fanfic I have read thus far!
Twilight is such an amazing bitch! She's so crass and rude and...awesome!
I cannot WAIT to see what happens during Nightmare Night!
"Dear Princess Celestia. I want to tap your sisters ass so hard I'd crater HER moon!"
*Snerk*
More!
Regards
GM
"Brush Off" is two words, by the way.
Hm... I liked the first chapters, and this one too, but this one feels... lazy, like you didn't put as much effort in it.
Try shaking things up a little before things get stale.
726863 I anticipate some will be duds. Griffon the Brushoff wasn't one of my favorites.
Next is trixie....*grabs popcorn* this is going to be good
> as Rainbow introduced a friend that must be the result of a lion fucking an eagle or something
So good
Are you going to be doing these for all the episodes?
727234 I hope so.
Lol 5 letters in and no rainbow lesbian joke gratz!
You, sir, deserve twenty metric tons of booze, bacon, concubines, and money EACH. This is, by far, the funniest damn thing I have ever read. Good on ya, mate.
Nearly vomited from laughter. I am not kidding.
One of the most genuinely laugh-out-loud inducing anythings I've ever witnessed. Good on you.
Not as good as the previous ones.
Let's see how Twilight handles Trixie and Zecora.
Oh my god, only partially through the first paragraph, and I had to stop and reflect why this was so hilarious!
Admittedly, the first bad thing I encountered this story was where Twilight supposedly said Pinkie said she could stop her addiction whenever she wanted. That really took out the element of this fitting in the cannon story so possibly and hilariously well.
(Maybe that's why there are more duds this chapter for others...? )
Next chapta now!
If Pinkie is juch a druggie, I'm suprised there was no "Chasing the Purple Dragon"/ Spike ref.
really did no one get the Hey ocean joke
I wanna know why Twilight said "I think Rainbow could form an indie rock band". That WOULD be a fucking GREAT idea but it seems a bit random. Oh well. I give you my highest rating: 20 Spikes! This has never been given out by me!
It's like Charlie the Unicorn.
I lost it at the orgasm potion part.
hahaha this is so funny
This one was kinda dull, IMHO
863261
Even if this was ages ago, it was a meta-joke. Look up Hey Ocean! or more specifically, their lead singer
And I think Rainbow could totally form an indie rock band or something.
Was... was that a reference to Hey Ocean?
It's downright amazing just how many instances of Fridge Logic this series is managing to uncover ("Who leads baby ducks right down the center of main street anyway?")
How does Twilight know Pinkie Pie is a drug addict, or is she just making that up?
Dear Twilight Sparkle:
Why didn't you just say so? I have an Orgasm-intensifying potion here in Canterlot! And here I was thinking that your brother and foalsitter were the only ones who needed it
Your faithful sun-shifting Goddess, Princess Celestia.
P.S.: Did you know that if you get knocked up by a Griffin, the resulting baby will have the lion bits replaced by Pony bits? They call it a Hippogriff!
P.P.S.: Most Griffins HATE ponies, and vice-versa, so most hippogriffs are the result of date rape
I suddenly would like to be a griffon
So far, this entire thing is reminding me freakishly of Foamy the Squirrel. Am I not wrong?
webmemes.org(truestory)
2509894 Mentally Advanced Series
DRUGS.
Nuff said.
~Skeeter The Lurker
I want a hippie drug candy cane helicopter
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH......
If drugs make you act wierd then that could be the answer to why the Anti-Bronies are so immature..
"And I think Rainbow could totally form an indie rock band or something."
*looks at Google Images tab*
i1.sndcdn.com/artworks-000070843943-q7ezuh-crop.jpg?435a760
When was this chapter uploaded? JUNE 2012!?
Holy shit, man, you are just freaking PSYCHIC! O_O
4056312 noooooooo! Whyyyyyyy?!
3954196 ZING!
4056312 I'm pretty sure he was referencing "Hey Ocean!" Which is an amazing band by the way if you've never listened to them.
One too many spaces here.
It was kind of a dick thing that Rainbow did to Gilda. There was no proof that Rainbow and Gilda had a pranky relationship. There was plenty evidence that they may have been lovers, however. Comes out of nowhere just to visit Dash. Wants to hang out with no one but Dash. Will only publicly embarrass herself for the sake of Dash. And if that is not love, I do not know what love is.
KBO.
4157804
About the extra space thing, I notice that Twilight's letters are in Justified format. The space was probably auto-inserted.
Her former non-druggie student? Does that mean she does drugs?
"I've also learned that inter-species breeding is indeed possible, as Rainbow introduced a friend that must be the result of a lion fucking an eagle or something"
Lmfao!
Rainbow form a rock band?...
HOLY CRAP! THIS GUY PREDICTED RAINBOW ROCKS!
5398908 sweet celestia
I like it, I like it a lot.
1799849 I want to favorite this as much as the fix itself!
4370247 No. twilight said she wasn't Celestia's student anymore, and She was saying she didn't do drugs.
I'll take this moment to say that Ponyville isn't the only indication that Equestrian society is FUBAR. Second piece of evidence: Twilight.
Boom.