Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Games Ponies Play
Dear Princess Celestia,
I cannot believe I actually paid Spike to take care of my owl. I could've had him deliver mail for Hoofwarts for an afternoon, or drop him off with that Blythe girl, I hear she's quite good with pets. Spike of course complained that he didn't get invited along, but I couldn't have him running around trying to eat the Crystal Meth citizens.
So we meet up with Cadance, and Pinkie dives into her Gak pool. After that, we go to the train station with the description of 'somepony with flower print luggage.' Did we confirm the name? Nope. Did we grab the first pony with flower luggage? Yep.
Fate would have it that the actual games inspector would get a massage with the pony from Mustangia, and tell her about our ruse of a welcome. Which, in her 'expert' opinion, amounts to the first unvarnished, unrehearsed, and unbiased appraisal of a potential host of the Equestria Games.
Except that our welcome was varnished.
And rehearsed.
And biased.
But because we gave it to the wrong pony it was none of those things. That totally makes sense.
So congratulations, Princess Cadance Not-Evil-Good-Pony. Your city won the Equestria Games. You know, I honestly think that competition should really be about the best of the best athletes. Not just the ones who haven't gone pro, because that's kind of bullshit if you ask me. Just because ponies get paid for their athleticism, doesn't mean they shouldn't be able to compete in the games. Fuck that. I'd rather make money.
Your cheerleading former student,
Twilight Sparkle
P.S.- Rarity, you have got to make those porcupine manestyles a thing. It actually looked kinda badass.
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Wait, so Twilight's letter to Celestia includes a postscript to Rarity? Eh, I'm sure she'll get it eventually.
This may be the least bitchy letter yet. Hell, she even, kinda, complimented Rarity.
Who are you and what have you done with our disgruntled friendship student?
Talk about eye candy!
Only one more to go, then you can go back to sleep.
Man, Crystal ponies are useless but now I want to visit Mustangia.
2177394
I was also quite surprised that she complimented anyone in this letter. It maybe she fell into a patch of poison joke or something.
Okay so you are only one episode left, make it be good, I want her to be at least 20% more bitchy then usual here.
You have my masterpiece! Very fun and interesting, especially because Celestia does not make a good impression, I do not like Princess Celestia.
So, was Cadance and Shining gonna participate in the Wife Chucking contest?
That whole sorta-kinda incest thing in FiW, that was totally a reference to this, and now you're referencing FiW! It's like a circle of friendship and magic and The N*Street Bens!
If you ask me, they could've pulled off a couple more Courtney Love jokes.
2177540 I feel like the FiW incest thing was more inspired from (aside from all the incest stories about them anyway) Adventures of a Teenage Foalsitter by BronyStories.
lol at the Littlest Pet Shop mention
I thought this was Games Ponies Play?
2177839 Thank you...fixing that now.
2177398
That's so unrainbow.
You smell that?
Smells like a bunny fire
Wow Twilight was surprisingly not very disgruntled. I guess she takes her medication whenever she leaves the library.
Did you just reference one of the greatest book series of all time (Harry Potter) and My Littlest Pet Shop in the same sentence
...Well done
This was pretty much exactly what I was thinking when I saw the episode.
LPS reference
"Princess Cadance Not-Evil-Good-Pony"
I see somepony's already seen the newest Witchcraft Is Magic
I think milesprower06 just dropped a logic bomb on this episode.
Dear Twilight Sparkle:
I'm honestly surprised you haven't had her locked up in one of those underground mines and married Francis or whatever your brother's name is
Your eternally varnishing, rehearsing, and biased former teacher, Princess Celestia
P.S.: Ooh! Now I know how to deal with crystal pony dissenters (They're hard to crush up in rainbow factories, don't you know )
s13.postimage.org/xc5vww0uf/GAKGAKGAK.png
If Rarity does give her a porcupine manestyle, she would then have an appropriate manestyle with which to rock her booty everywhere.
Agreed.
2179399
Dear Princess Celestia,
Well, it would appear that I'm teaching you now. How's that for a change, you bogus-a** c***?
Your former-student-turned-teacher,
Twilight Sparkle
Hehe. You make some good points. And also, oh god the references. They're everywhere. Nicely done.
Only one episode left...
Oh god, Gak is back.
Slight mistake, should read "but I couldn't have him running around trying to eat the Crystal Meth citizens again."
Great chapter btw.
Whoo, this was a ton of fun to read! Just another reason to be excited for season 4.
And dreams! Dreams! Athletes have dreams! And goals! They don't senselessly do 100-meter hurdles just so they can confuse the sky for the ground briefly while in the air! Or get sick because it's funny to watch acid trickle out while spinning around and around and ar--
Reading this made me realize that I never saw this episode. Now that I'm watching it... it... isn't very good. I'm not even sure I feel like finishing it.
*Looks up Gak.*
Finds out that it's some Nickalodian toy.
*Looks up Urban Dictionary of Gak.*
"Speed, meth, twick, crank, methamphetamine, Desoxyephedrine."
"popular slang word for coke or blow"
"The Bronie's kryptonite."
I'm not sure which but one of those is what the Gak Pool is.
2179399 FIW!
IT"S NOT. CREEPY
I agree.
That spiked hairstyle was kickass.
~Skeeter The Lurker
2180742 Also agreed.
Princess Cadance Not-Evil-Good Pony, I get that Friendship is Witchcraft reference.
Oh gods
2684303 The Littlest Pet Shop reference was spot on!!!!
Twilight must have gotten laid recently. That would explain why she is not her usual grouchy, disgruntled, adorable self.
Good for you, Twiliy.
KBO.