Flat teeth or fangs? Velvety smooth coat or firm carapace? Mane or headfin?

Thorax frets over which face he wishes to show the crystal ponies his age. Fortunately, there's somepony willing to offer a word or two of comfort and support, as well as teach him a life lesson that will stick with him forever.

Preread by Fahrenheit and Timaeus.

Loosely inspired by this piece by Starshade001. Used as cover art with permission from the artist.

Youtube reading by Chaotic.

On the day of Nightmare Moon's return, she ponynapped one of Celestia's royal guards for interrogation. However, she might be getting more information than she wanted to know.

Credit for cover art goes to ZantyARZ

So I thought of this after remembering a very funny skit from "A Bit of Fry and Laurie." I thought it would be funny if I did the same skit, but with Nightmare Moon and a Royal Guard.

This is also sort of an apology for not finishing "Princess Luna Received a Love Letter." So I hope you all enjoy this one!

Featured 02/13/2018!!! Thank you!!!

UPDATE: I found out a couple of people have done a reading of this story. I am so happy! Here they are if you would like a listen.

Pony&Wolf Productions on 9/13/2023

Agent0Fluffy on 2/15/2023

Three million years ago, at the very beginning of the starfaring age, the daughter of a powerful noble house headed out into the galaxy, ready to uncover the mysteries of the Milky Way. However, Helena never expected her greatest discovery would be hidden away inside a foreboding nebula.

Twilight Sparkle's love of astronomy was well known, but she never imagined a day would come when she aimed her telescope to the heavens and found nothing but a dark, empty void.

Additional notes:
-First contact story with an ominous setting and mild conflict between human and ponies-
-The main character is not your average human-

Proofread by Snakeskin Ducttape and PresentPerfect
Artwork by: Rossby Waves
Featured on Equestria Daily
Review link: PresentPerfect and PaulAsaran

Rainbow develops her winter floof, but it’s bigger and fluffier than ever this year.

Twilight's been meaning to ask.

Rated teen for alcohol and dick jokes.

I didn't originally mean for this to be my entry into Aragon and Friends' THE COMEDY (IS SERIOUS BUSINESS) CONTEST, but it worked out perfectly.

Content Warning: wildly waveringly written drunk dialogue. And a pun.
Reading by SNinja! Go support him on YouTube!

While working on a spell to see if Pinkie and Applejack are related, Twilight discovers that she has a little sister: Scootaloo! But how is this possible? And, more importantly, how will this affect them?

Featured 11/6/17

The life he once knew and the life he once had was all gone in a single moment of pure darkness. A young colt finds himself without memories of whom or what he was.With nothing left to remind him of what life were before he keeps moving on, with darkness always trailing close behind. The light of magic leads him to a whole new beginning to a whole new life. What will this new beginning bring for him?

Permission granted to use the commission made drawing that Skyheavens made for me.

Story being checked and edited by:Cold Spike (Prologue and chapter 1, 6 and 7)
Joesephius_Loewe (Chapter 8 - chapter 30)
Josh Satt (Chapter 31)
Berry Delight (Chapter 32, 33, Reunited with a Twist: Armour and Sunny)
Sunflower1414 (Chapter 34 to 42)
QueenOfTheBadlands1 (Chapters 2 to 5 plus Scootaloo POV chapter)

Update: First story I created and with the help of my awesome friend Joesephius_Loewe proofreading we hit the mark of 101 thumbs up with 105 watchers at 01/07/2014. Thank you everypony for enjoying this story so far and try to continue to keep you enjoying the story of Zaps Apple.

Featured: 01/08/2014, 17/7/2016, 20/03/2017, 8/9/2017, 1/2/2018, 23/5/2019, 5/6/2019, 21/7/2019 and 29/7/2019

After a night of accidental debauchery that she cannot seem to remember, sophomore student at Canterlot Community College Fluttershy wakes up to find a strange woman named 'Eris' standing at her door! The strange woman claims that she's going to be Fluttershy's new live-in maid of all things! But Eris is far more than just a strange, seven-foot-tall woman in a French maid outfit... she's the human world's nascent spirit of chaos! And whoever heard of a spirit of chaos washing clothes and dusting shelves?!

Not to mention Eris's sudden reappearance has stirred up other ancient magical beings from their slumber, including the savage Queen Umbra, the enigmatic Chrysalis, and the Paladin-Goddesses Selene and Amaterasu.

But as crazy as the situation may be, perhaps things will work out for the best? Fluttershy's been incredibly lonely ever since the rest of her friends from Canterlot High went off to other colleges. And underneath all her bluster, maybe... just maybe... all Eris needs is a friend to convince her she isn't alone anymore.

...or maybe Fluttershy's cottage will be washed away in a tsunami of caramel-flavored cottage cheese.

...Yeah, that sounds about right.

Contains: Older!EqG!FluttershyxRule63!Discord

(Author's Notes: Crossover between Equestria Girls and Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid because I'm apparently a hot pile of otaku garbage. The first few chapters may closely resemble some episodes of the anime, but it will diverge from there. This takes place in the near future of an alternate EqG universe because I've only seen the first Equestria Girls and don't really care enough to watch the others. Also because I'm not gonna write them with "Doug" skin colors. They've still got the multicolored hair, but they have human skin. Because I said so, that's why.)

(Teen/Sex rating is for comical nudity, lewd discussions, possibly-too-in-depth descriptions, and maybe some light touching, but there will be no explicit sex)

(Cover Art credit goes to ZantyARZ)

Twilight and Sunset race against the clock to save Canterlot from a foe of unimaginable power… a romantic narrative.

Entry in Aragon's Comedy (is Serious Business) Contest with the prompt Today We Learned Something "Subtle."

Cover Design by Novel Idea
Twilight Sparkle Cutie Mark By Intbrony
Cover based on screenshot from Black Mesa

Beta Reader & Editor Credits
Cursori: Reader of Many a Pony Word
Little Tinker: Master of Systems at Poniverse & Scripting Engineer on The Manehattan Project
Ladrian: Resident Snarky Mistborn
Heartshine: Smol Pegsus, BIg Heart
Oroboro: Assassin of Extra Spa ces

Word Count: 12,000
Version: 3.1

Horns are a dangerous weapon. You can't just wave it around and use it willy-nilly. You need to be careful. You must use your horn safely. Anon goes on a journey to ensure that horns in Ponyville are properly protected.

Written for The Barcast
Spanish Translation by Spaniard Kiwi

This story is contained in my book "Dash Tries to Win Your Heart and Other Short Pony Stories"

If you have interest in purchasing this non-profit book, check out my online store at this link: https://www.lulu.com/search?adult_audience_rating=00&q=flutterpriest