Heimr Hijinx
It’d been a day since they completed installing their water purifier, and Kickback and Bullseye were in the finally completed training area. Everyone, some more begrudgingly than others, decided to pitch in the help fix and complete it after the debacle that Spiral Galaxy and Turf War accidently caused. Dummies popped in and out of the ground, which Kickback fired at. Bullseye volleyed arrows at the targets moving on conveyors mounted on a wall so that she’d be able to retrieve them.
“You sure you can afford to waste bullets, cowboy?” Bullseye said.
Kickback blew out his guns. “Actually, Ms. Quantum Tech made me some sorta fake magic bullet that doesn’t run out, but it don’t hurt nothin’ neither.” He explained. “Ah can use it fer practice.”
“Didn’t understand any of the science crap, huh? Don’t blame you.” Bullseye said as she volleyed two arrows, each hitting two separate targets dead center.
“Never really did. Ah just trusted that she knew what she what she was ramblin’ on about.” Kickback said.
“I would call you a moron for that if she hasn’t been right all the freaking time.” Bullseye said.
“You oughta learn to trust others a little more, Ms. Bullseye.” Kickback said.
“Yeah, yeah. I’m the spawn of Tarturus. Tell me something I don’t know.” Bullseye said.
She turned her attention to a standalone dummy with punching and jabbing mechanisms. She blocked some of the blows with her bow, but also practiced dodging. The dummy was designed to gradually speed up to a certain point, and as it did, the angsty archer did so in kind; and her aggression flared. The Blood Cupid was certainly present, but Kickback could see hints of restraint in her movements.
Bullseye somersaulted away from the dummy and volleyed a single arrow into its neck, which was just barely exposed. A protected sensor triggered by direct impact caused the dummy to stop. The predatory stare in Bullseye’s eye affixed onto the dummy, but that’s where her aggression stayed. She took a deep breath, and then it subsided. Her demons were caged once again, and a calm eye looked at Kickback. “What? Impressed?”
Kickback tipped his hat. “But not surprised.” He then swiftly drew his gun and fired it behind his head. The shot hit the switch that controlled the popping dummy mechanism and made it stop.
“Pfft! Just had to one-up me, did ya? And here I thought you were a gentlecolt.” Bullseye said.
“Ah reckon us rangers need to keep each other on our hooves is all.” Kickback said.
“Excuses, excuses…” Bullseye joked. “But whatevs.” She turned her back to the wall targets and fired a bow behind her. She heard the arrow hit, but didn’t turn around; she was waiting for Kickback to compliment her.
“Uh… Ms. Bullseye?” Kickback said.
“Talk to me, cowboy.” Bullseye said smugly.
“Ah reckon you’d best take a gander fer yerself.” Kickback said.
“Huh?” Bullseye, mildly concerned, did as the sharpshooter suggested. “Wha- What the hell!?”
Crazylocks had inexplicably appeared in front of the targets, and Bullseye’s arrow had lodged in her hair. Both rangers were dumbfounded, Bullseye more so than Kickback, while Crazylocks just stood there with her manic smile like nothing was wrong. “The legends are true! I AM a pin cushion!”
*****
Spiral Galaxy calmly layed on the end of a dock jutting far out into the Celestial Sea. She had taken off her armor to let the salty breeze caress her coat. The sky was open with minimal overcast, and yet the shining sun did little to evoke her volatile magic; she paid it no heed. Instead she happily observed the churning sea, calm but hiding a fearsome rage.
The flapping of seagull wings was disrupted when more powerful flaps broke the tranquility. Spiral looked up to see a certain icy drake land and perch atop the wooden support beam just across from her. “S’up, twerp?”
Spiral smiled. “Hey, Frostbite. Did you get a craving for pearls?”
“Nah, they make me sick to my stomach. I just needed a break from Quantum Tech’s stupid experiments.” Frostbite said.
Spiral giggled. “She’s still giving you gems though, right?”
“At least…” Frostbite mumbled.
“I bet she really appreciates you letting yourself be the guinea pig.” Spiral said.
“She’d better. I can still taste those metal things she makes me hold in my mouth.” Frostbite said. “So, whatcha up to?”
“Just watching Tidal Wave.” Spiral said.
Frostbite scanned the surrounding seawater, but saw only miles of blue. “Zebota give you water x-ray vision or something? I don’t see him.”
“Oh he’s there. I told him not to go out to far.” Spiral said.
“Since when are you his mom?” Frostbite asked.
A small tint of red appeared on her face. “No, no! I just… wanna make sure he doesn’t freak out over another pack of sharks or anything. Y-You know how squeamish he can get.”
“Yeah, really. He told me about that giant eel he tangoed with. Sounds like he’s able to put the ‘attack’ in ‘panic attack’.” Frostbite said.
“Have a little more faith him. At least he’s never afraid to try.” Spiral said.
Suddenly, they heard something jump out of the water. “Wahoo!” Tidal Wave happily put on an acrobatic display, swimming through the water and air like a flying fish as he made his way to the dock. He made his entrance with a splash and gracefully landed right in front of Spiral. “Phew! What a workout.” He then noticed the ice dragon present. “Oh! Hey, Frostbite.”
For some reason, Frostbite seemed to be holding back laughter. “How’s the water, twerp?”
“Nice and cool! You gonna take a dip? I bet those dragon wings would be good for swimming.” Tidal Wave said.
Frostbite shrugged. “Just hope I don’t sneeze…”
“Oh!” Tidal Wave turned to Spiral. “I err….found this while I was swimming. Th-Thought you might want it.” He reached into his armor and pulled out a decently sized pearl.
“Aww, thanks!” Spiral took the pearl with her hoof and leaned in to peck him, causing to blush furiously. However, Spiral noticed something behind him. “You’ve got a passenger.”
“Huh!?” Tidal Wave looked behind him to find an octopus clinging to his back. “GYAAAAHHHH!!! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!” He frantically tried to buck it off, prompting Spiral to step back so as to avoid his thrashing.
Frostbite finally stopped the debacle by skewering the squishy mass with his tail having frozen it over first. He then pulled it right off of the frantic foal and engulfed it in his jaws, chomping away before swallowing it all at once. “Mm! Might have to take a dip just to find a little snack.” He said. “Err… You ok, squirt?”
Tidal Wave was hyperventilating whilst Spiral held his hoof, trying to calm him down. “My life flashed before my eyes…” he muttered.
Spiral sighed. “It was just an octopus, dude…” she said.
“Some are venomous, you know!” Tidal Wave blurted.
Spiral just rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t help but smile a little. “He’s so cute when he’s flustered…”
*****
Greensprout and Zebota were hard at work tending to their garden. Shrapnel’s massive claws were just the thing to till the land so the two farmers could plant seeds, who used their combined nature magic to expedite the growing process. They knew better than to force it, so they made sure to coax their crops into eventual blossom; they already had some healthy sprouts.
“It won’t be long before we can really begin sustaining ourselves.” Greensprout said.
“Yes. You did remember to plant medicinal herbs, did you not?” Zebota said.
Greensprout nodded. “Of course! But I must grow them separate of our crops. That’s why I had Shrapnel dig that little field over there.”
“I figured that was your reason.” Zebota said. “It is a shame that we cannot grow any herbs of my people. How I would love to share more of my culture apart from my Beastcraft and phrases of my native tongue.”
“And I’d love to learn more, but you will always be our brother regardless of your upbringing.” Greensprout said. “Though perhaps you could think of Zebra recipes with what we’re growing?”
“I…would have to get most creative, but perhaps.” Zebota said.
“Air Slash has told me stories about cave mushrooms that Fire Fight cooked into a luscious stew. Maybe we should consider nurturing our own.” Greensprout said.
“Let us take care not to ask too much of the spirits. We may have earned their favor, but only take what you need.” Zebota said.
“Yeah, I suppose there is such a thing as too much healing.” Greensprout said.
Zebota then heard Shrapnel bark, and looked over at him. The wooden titan gently clawed at the ground as if to ask permission. “Yes, my friend. Right there would be good.” Shrapnel rend the ground around him with his claws into another little field ready to be planted.
“It still baffles me that one would be able to tame such a mighty beast with the right magic.” Greensprout said.
“I still remember when you healed me from near death in those ruins.” Zebota said.
Greensprout giggled. “Now who’s taking the other’s powers for granted?”
Shrapnel could then be seen carrying a decently large log in his mouth. He brought it to his master and dropped it at his feet.
Greensprout was startled, but Zebota just smiled at his beast. “A fetch break, my friend?” Shrapnel started panting excitedly and wagging his tail. “Very well!” Zebota summoned a huge root from the ground that picked up the log and threw high over the tree line. “GO LONG!”
Shrapnel sprinted and briefly disappeared into the forest until he jumped high above the floral crowns and caught the log in his jaws. He landed with a powerful thud that made the immediate area shake. Moments later, he burst through the flora, happily returning the log to his master.
“Good boy!” Zebota said.
Frightened at the brazen display of strength, Greensprout nervously shuffled away towards the ruins. “Erm… I-I think I’ll just…l-leave you two your p-playtime!”
*****
The sounds of blades cleaving the air and colliding fiercely filled the air as Air Slash and Shadow Shroud used one of the ruin’s high guard walls as a sparring arena. Shadow-cloaked strikes clashed with swings of swords forged in courage and valiance set the stage for what would surely be a legacy for the ages crafted by the mighty Battle Foals.
However, it was reduced to a mere distraction inside Quantum Tech’s lab where its mindful mistress had pit Fire Fight and Turf War against an old foe: math tests.
“Quantum, why are we doing this?” Fire Fight mumbled.
“Yeah! We ain’t goin’ to school no more!” Turf War said.
Quantum impatiently fixed her glasses. “That’s no excuse for any of us to fall behind on our education!” she said. “A test of the mind is just as important as strength training to keep you on your hooves. There are going to be situations where, for one reason or another, you won’t have me to do all the thinking for you.”
Fire Fight sighed. “She’s got a point, dude…”
“Word…” Turf War mumbled.
It was another painful ten or so minutes later when both colts, bored out of their minds, managed to finish together. Quantum took their papers and looked at them one at a time, starting with Fire Fight’s.
“Hmm… Very decent, Fire Fight. B+” Quantum said.
“Well this brings back the fondest of memories…” Fire Fight muttered.
“I know, dog. Ain’t math borin’ as a…” Turf War said, stopping himself before swearing within Quantum’s presence.
“And…ugh…now for you, Turf War.” Quantum said. She carefully examined the paper, not expecting much. “Hmm?” Her expression suddenly became pretty surprised. “HUH!?!?” She was completely dumbfounded.
“E-Everything Ok, Quantum?” Fire Fight said.
Quantum just stood there trembling as she looked over at them. “He… He… HE SOLVED THEM ALL PERFECTLY!!”
“Seriously!? Even those calculus problems near the end!?” Fire Fight asked.
“Y-Y-YES!!!” Quantum flipped the sheet over to reveal that Turf War had indeed expertly worked out every problem like a pro mathematician.
“You just said math was boring a second ago!!” Fire Fight exclaimed.
“It’s borin’ ‘cause it’s easy as s***.” Turf War said. Quantum was too shocked to correct his language.
“What’s with all the shouting?”
“Huh? GYAGH!!!” Fire Fight fell out of his seat when he found Shadow Shroud right behind him.
“Oops. Sorry…” Shroud said.
Air Slash fluttered into the room. “You really need to break the habit of startling everyone.” He said before noticing Quantum Tech in a bowing position. “Now…what seems to be the trouble?”
“Turf War is apparently a math honors student.” Fire Fight said, showing them his math test.
“Is that so?” Air Slash said.
“Three years in a row, matter o’ fact.” Turf War said.
Air Slash and Shadow Shroud were as stunned as Quantum upon examining their gangster friends handiwork. “…You’ve gotta be kidding me…” Shroud said.
Quantum was still bowing. “WE ARE IN THE PRESENCE OF A MASTER!!!” She sobbed tears of joy and admiration.
Stats
Page generated in 0.028 seconds
Total duration
964 users online
1,920,973 hits today, 2,237,019 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I won't lie, I actually said "Aw, Quantum get tired of you firing blanks?" when I read this.
Then I realized just how dirty that sounded.
9659282
Of course Turf War is a math genius. I'm really hoping you have the others do the tests and Zebota is the dumbest. That would be such a contrast to Quantum, shows they belong together.
Did you mean 'hair'?
9659353
Yes, I did. Thanks!
Turf War as a closet math honors student came out of left field.
9659441
Not really. I mean, this is Turf War. Having Crazylocks be the honor student would be the real twist!
9659484 But Crazylocks didn't take the math test.
9659521
I was joking.
My boy turf war is a math wiz
What a twist
Well of corse he is, I mean, Busting up heads and making earthquakes isn't just "SMASH!"
You got to put some thought and timing into it. (Though I was still very surprised to learn that he is that smart.)
That ending. LOL
This is the most shocking chapter yet.
I think Turf War broke Quantum
I DID IT! I'm caught up! Over a hundred chapters and I'm finally caught up.
9699178
Good to see you here!
i like math because there is only one right answer if you do everything right, there is no way to be wrong